When It Comes To You
by FifiDoll
Summary: Kurt finds out that Sam hasn't stopped stripping, even though he's in Ohio living with the Hudmels, and he convinces Blaine and Sebastian to help get Sam to stop. warning: MPREG
1. Chapter 1

When Kurt found out that Sam's "dates with Mercedes" were actually him skipping out to drive out to Stallionz to dance on the weekends, he was more than a little disappointed. He spent the whole night he found out (thanks to Mercedes' text, no less) pacing his room and ranting out loud to Blaine, who just sat cross-legged and obedient on Kurt's bed. When Kurt stopped for breath and turned to face Blaine, he noticed the hint of mischief in his eyes. "What are you planning?" Kurt asked curiously, perching himself at the end of his bed.

Blaine just looked up at Kurt, pleased with himself. He waited a few more seconds before explaining, but once he did, they couldn't get to the Lima Bean the next day fast enough. When they arrived, Sebastian was there as per his usual, and he just watched them with cool indifference as they unveiled their plot. "And why should I do this?" Sebastian asked.

Blaine looked a tiny bit guilty as he asked, "For me. For _us_. Because… the past is behind us and we should all move forward as friends."

Sebastian snorted at the large amount of bullshit tumbling from Blaine's lips, but he nodded. He was always up for a challenge, and this Sam kid definitely sounded like one. "So, Stallionz, out in Kentucky, tonight?" Sebastian clarified.

Kurt nodded, and he said, "And you will use whatever means necessary to get him to do it."

Sebastian fixed Kurt with a strong gaze, as if he expected Kurt to be joking, but to his surprise, Kurt wasn't kidding at all. "Fine," Sebastian conceded. "_Whatever means necessary_."

Blaine looked Sebastian straight in the eye, as if he knew what Sebastian was thinking and he repeated even stronger, "_Whatever means necessary_."

With that, Kurt and Blaine left the Lima Bean, and Sebastian went home to change.

As he showered, Sebastian thought over the absolutely ridiculous plan concocted by Kurt and Blaine. He could understand why they were doing it, but the risks that both he and Sam would go through just to make this plan work the way they hoped was a bit too much, even by Sebastian's standards. He'd do it anyway because a challenge was a challenge, and besides, being on good terms with Blaine was pretty appealing.

This Sam kid apparently had a problem – not enough money or something like that, so he turned to stripping to earn a few bucks – and Kurt didn't like it. Whether it was some weird secret crush thing or just friends smothering their other stripper friends, Sebastian couldn't really make sense of it, but it was none of his business, really. Kurt could have pervy little crushes on whomever he wanted, and Sebastian could do the same (about Blaine in particular, though it was nobody's business there, either). This Sam kid was just a bump in the road, but at least he was Blaine-approved. If it went that far, that was. He just had to get Sam to take the money.

Sebastian stepped from the shower and dried off, wandering his room lazily, completely nude, as he searched for clothing. He skipped the boxers and went straight for a pair of perfectly-cut, form-fitting jeans, and then tugged on a tight short-sleeved polo shirt to go with. His hair was spiked back just enough to make it look like he'd put an ounce of effort into styling it, and then he topped it all off with a spritz of cologne. It wasn't a bad look for him, he knew, though he felt much more in-charge and at-home in a school uniform or suit and tie for family meetings.

Sebastian went down to the safe in one of the many studies of the grand home his family had on the outskirts of Westerville, and he gathered as many ones, fives, tens, twenties, and fifties to realistically last him ten nights at a strip club. He wanted to be prepared for Sam's price, though, because as Kurt explained, it might take a lot more than a roll of fives to get him to loosen up.

After that, Sebastian traipsed out the door and towards his car, still parked on the roundabout driveway outside the front door. He sped off, rocks flying behind him as he drove towards the freeway and the dismal, chicken-fried state of Kentucky to gather his prize. Well, what would be his prize, at least – as long as he could get this guy to do everything he wanted. Throughout the entire drive, Sebastian forced himself to think through his words, his exact playbook for this guy, and what to do instead of losing his cool. Too much rode on whether this was successful or not. Sebastian fucking this up might mean he'd lose the small bit of communication he still had with Blaine, and seeing as Blaine was the only person that really _knew_ him, that was a lot to lose.

Sebastian sat in the parking lot and stared down at his lap for a good five minutes before he fumbled around in the glove compartment for his bottle of lube and shoved it in his pocket. Then he climbed from his sleek black sports car and stalked inside of the place. Stallionz was an average enough strip club: a few rooms in the back, a good stage out front, lots of lights and glitz and showmanship, and some good old Kentucky deep-fried food that Sebastian wouldn't be touching lining the back wall. He watched the stage from his place in the back, and waited for this blonde with "surfer hair and perfect abs" as Kurt had so innocently dubbed him.

The lights dimmed and spotlights shone on the glittering stage, and the announcer started building up the crowd. Sebastian watched with slight disinterest at the first two guys, but when their "special guest, White Chocolate" stepped up on stage, Sebastian's look changed. Even clothed, or as clothed as this place would make him, Sam was a catch. His arms were thick and muscular, and his lips looked like they _belonged_ around a cock. When he tore off his pants and wore nothing but little surf shorts, Sebastian found himself staring, and he pushed his way to the front eagerly. Sebastian let Sam have his fun, and he held up a few ones from time to time, but when the song slowed and everyone parted ways, Sebastian made his move.

"Hey Blondie!" Sebastian called out as Sam hopped off the stage and started walking towards the back rooms.

"Out of business, sorry," Sam waved him off with just a slight glance back.

In that glance, Sebastian managed to flash his thick handful of rolled fifties, and then Sam seemed to stop dead in his tracks. "I'll make it worth your trouble," Sebastian said, waving the cash absentmindedly as he watched the gears turn in Sam's head.

Against his better judgment, Sam sighed and opened the first unlocked door he could find. He stepped in and let Sebastian follow, and then he locked it after them. The room was decorated from floor to ceiling in red, romantic tones, and it wasn't the ideal location in Sebastian's mind – _at all_. The last thing he needed was some romantic cock-up getting in the way of a perfectly nice evening of no-strings-attached sex. "How much cash is that?" Sam asked curiously.

His entire sexy demeanor was gone, now replaced with an almost childlike need for information. "This? It's about three grand, but there's more where that came from," Sebastian smirked. "You give me a little something-something tonight and I'll make it well worth your while, Blondie."

Sam cocked an eyebrow at that, almost as if he were considering it, but the question from his lips said otherwise. "Don't I know you from somewhere?"

Sebastian just let his smirk grow, passing over the words with indifference, as he said, "Does it matter if we know each other from somewhere? The point is that we're both here now, you need money, and I can give you all you need and more for just a few little favors."

"I'm not gay, dude," Sam pointed out.

Sebastian meandered the room slowly, his finger dragging over the black metal footboard of the bed as he spoke. With a shrug, Sebastian asked, "Does it matter? In this place, sex is just sex."

When he turned to meet Sam's eyes again, the blonde seemed even more confused, but in a way that told Sebastian he was getting under Sam's skin and twisting his logic to coincide with Sebastian's. "Just one night, that's all I'm asking," Sebastian told him simply. "I won't even tell people what we did. That way you can stay off limits to everyone else, but I can get a taste of you. You really are one of the hottest men ever to go through this joint, you know that?"

Sam's mouth went dry at Sebastian's compliment, and he realized in that moment how quietly and subtly Sebastian had moved right into his personal space. They were closer than toe to toe; they were nose to nose and Sam was hardly wearing anything, and on top of it all he could feel Sebastian's breath on his lips. Sam couldn't stop himself any longer because something about Sebastian and his words and holy fuck his _voice_ just had Sam melting at his feet, ready to do anything he asked, money or no money. Slowly he tilted his face upwards and his lips met Sebastian's in an awkward yet tension-relieving kiss that left Sam's head spinning and Sebastian at a loss for words.

"You really haven't done this before, have you, Blondie?" Sebastian asked curiously, stepping away from Sam.

On one hand, he was glad that Sam was giving in, but on the other, Sebastian was _not_ prepared for that. These sorts of strip-club hookups _never_ included kissing. Kissing was too intimate and too emotional: far more different than a simple fuck. "Did I do something wrong?" Sam asked curiously.

Sebastian knew he was on thin ice, and he had to choose his words carefully if he wanted to keep Sam in this room and bending to his every whim. "Not wrong, just… different," Sebastian explained.

Sam sat down on the bed next to where Sebastian was standing, and he looked up at him with such an innocent look in his eyes that Sebastian felt gravity pushing him down on the bed next to Sam. He sat and took a deep breath before he explained, "To most people in… _your position_… kissing is too intimate. It's more than they can put a monetary value to, so they just don't do it. I mean, if you want to, I'll pay the extra, but it's just… unconventional."

Sebastian glanced up at Sam and smirked a bit as he tried to get his cool, indifferent façade back in place as he spoke. "You need to name your price anyway," Sebastian told him as he tugged off his shirt, leaving both of them shirtless on the bed. "I pay upfront, no bullshit, no schemes."

Slowly, Sebastian reached out and trailed a finger from Sam's cheek, down his neck, over his collarbone, and down his chest just enough to graze his nipple. The sharp intake of breath from Sam told Sebastian he'd touched him exactly where he'd meant to, and maybe, just maybe, this whole thing hadn't been completely fucked up. Sam seemed to seriously consider it all for a moment before he said, "I-I want to kiss, and I don't do kinky stuff. If you want kinky, I'm not your guy. I just… simple. And… I'm not going to bottom, so…"

Sebastian froze at that, his finger lingering on Sam's hip lightly. Sebastian _never_ bottomed. Sex was all about control and relinquishing that control, even to someone as seemingly wholesome and kind as Sam was just more than Sebastian could handle. But then Blaine and Kurt's words echoed in his ears and Sebastian had a hard time fighting it. _Whatever means necessary_. Sebastian would _have_ to do it, and he'd have to trust, for the first time in his life, that someone he barely knew wasn't going to fuck him over. "You never named your price," Sebastian pointed out.

"I don't know rates," Sam admitted. "You tell me what you'd pay for it and we'll go from there."

"For sex, if you want me to bottom, two grand and not a cent lower," Sebastian said flatly. When Sam didn't seem to flinch or budge, Sebastian continued, "I'll throw in another grand for kissing, and another five hundred if you blow me before we fuck." Sam blushed at the last bit, but he never faltered, and Sebastian finished, "So, you're looking at $3,500, but I might bump it up to four grand if you really blow my mind. Not to mention a few of those ones I gave you out on the dance floor."

Sam's heart raced in his chest and he struggled to decide if this was worth it. It wasn't like he hadn't messed around before, but for this much money? Sam wasn't so sure if all the pressure was worth it. Besides, just for making it good for Sebastian would mean an extra five-hundred? Sam _really_ couldn't live up to that. He'd just end the night disappointed if he didn't manage to leave the place with four grand. "You've got yourself a deal," Sam said before he could stop himself.

Sebastian's lips curled into a smirk, and he held out his hand to shake on it. Sam shook him on it, and then it was time. Sam took a deep breath and closed his eyes, and he let the melodic hum of Sebastian's laughter calm him. When he opened his eyes, Sebastian was much closer, and Sam let his hands hold either side of Sebastian's face as he leaned in to kiss him properly this time. Their lips crashed together, and Sam's heart beat so hard he could hear it in his ears. He was _actually_ doing this, but it didn't feel like a sin or anything bad. With this guy, whoever he was, Sam felt okay.

Sebastian groaned into the kiss and gripped Sam's hips hard, trying to get past how fucking intimate this kid seemed to want to make _everything_. The kissing and the face-holding and everything else – it made all of Sebastian's other experiences already pale in comparison, and it was terrifying. Instead of focusing on the sweetness of Sam's kisses, Sebastian tried to distract the blonde by kissing along his neck and biting at his collarbone. When he hit just the right place, Sam would cry out in pleasure, his moan low and from deep within him, telling Sebastian it was _genuine_ and not some fake moan he was paying for. His lips trailed lower and covered one of Sam's nipples, and that's when the hair pulling started in.

Sam had no way of knowing how much of a turn-on it was for Sebastian to have his hair pulled, but he seemed to figure it out right away anyway. If the way Sebastian's teeth clamped down in surprise on Sam's nipple at the first tug wasn't enough of a clue, his wanton, almost embarrassing moans were definitely a dead giveaway. He'd barely managed to kiss down to Sam's abs when the tables were turned and Sebastian found himself sitting on the edge of the bed with Sam sliding off his tiny shorts right in front of him. Sebastian gazed at him appreciatively and licked his lips unabashedly, as Sam seemed to grow more confident with each passing moment.

Their eyes locked for a split second and just in that miniscule time frame, Sebastian knew what he was supposed to do next. He kicked off his jeans, the electricity and heat in the room making each of his moves slower and more lethargic; the sweat kept the denim plastered to his skin and the red décor in the room seemed to smother Sebastian in heat. His mind raced to keep up, and when he saw Sam drop to his knees right in front of him, Sebastian let out a moan just in anticipation.

Sebastian deliberately kept his eyes closed to keep Sam from making this more intimate than it needed to be, and he was glad he did, because the surprise when Sam took as much of his hard, pulsing cock into his mouth all at once was well worth it. Sebastian let out a deep, throaty moan and had to take several deep breaths just to calm himself enough to look down to take in the sight.

And oh, what a sight it was. Sam's lips certainly _were_ meant to be wrapped around a cock like that. They were plump and red and shining with just the right amount of saliva as Sam bobbed his head. A few light scratches of teeth told Sebastian that Sam had never done this before, but that didn't seem to be stopping him. Sam's hands had Sebastian's hips in a white-knuckled grip to keep him from bucking up into his mouth, and it was a good thing, too, because Sebastian was having trouble keeping his body under control.

As Sam pulled away, his tongue swirled the tip and lapped up the pre-cum gathered there, and when he looked up at Sebastian, and that was nearly the end right there. Sam glanced up to be sure he was doing it all right, to check that Sebastian was in pleasure and not in pain, but what set Sebastian off was the way Sam looked up with his cock resting right there on his swollen lips. "Fucking hell…" Sebastian muttered, acting against his better judgment and pulling Sam up into a rough kiss.

Their teeth clashed a little this time, but neither seemed to mind as their tongues battled and they tasted each other, the faint taste of Sebastian on Sam's tongue only serving to turn him on even more. "You know what to do next, Blondie?" Sebastian asked, his breath coming out in quick, heated puffs against Sam's lips.

Sam just smiled and nodded, and he guided Sebastian far more gently than necessary until he was lying on his back on the bed, the cold silk sheets a nice contrast against his flushed, heated skin. He seemed to glance around, lost for a few seconds, before Sebastian spoke up and said, "Jeans… pocket."

He was still panting and trying to compose himself to keep himself from looking like a complete pussy in front of this guy that was as good as a virgin, but it was difficult. Sam's lips made Sebastian's mind blank out, and the way he bent over to get the lube without even fucking _realizing_ the view he was giving Sebastian was insanely cruel. He thought about kissing Sam, hard and rough, as some sort of punishment, but then the thought occurred to him that it wouldn't help anything at all. This was all some vicious circle, and for a fleeting second Sebastian found himself wondering if this was some sort of revenge plot that Kurt and Blaine cooked up, and that Sam was in on it the whole time.

The thought left Sebastian's brain as soon as it got there thanks to Sam's hands, and Sebastian didn't even fight it when both of Sam's hands gingerly parted Sebastian's legs where they were perched upright and bent on the bed. Sebastian kept his eyes closed and avoided eye contact for fear of turning into a little wimp, and he let Sam do his thing. "Have you ever done this before?" Sam asked softly, the pop of the lid to the bottle of lube echoing in the background. "Bottoming, I mean?" he added.

"Yeah," Sebastian lied.

He was already vulnerable enough in front of Sam, he didn't need to go telling the truth about stuff like that to make it even more difficult for him. Sebastian didn't _do_ vulnerable, and no amount of money could change that. Sure, this four grand on the table for Sam was pretty close, but he wasn't going to let Sam in any more, figuratively at least. Sam slid in a first finger and Sebastian's breath hitched, and he almost wished he'd told Sam the truth because he wasn't ready to be filled entirely from tip to knuckle with Sam's finger so quickly. "You sure?" Sam asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

Sebastian's eyes snapped open in annoyance as Sam started sliding his finger in and out and crooking it around inside of him, and he knew then that there was no going back. The simple look of adoration and amusement in Sam's eyes had Sebastian's heart pounding so hard he couldn't hear anything, and he was _really_ caught off guard when Sam's lips met his again. The kiss was gentle, as was each and every motion of Sam's finger inside of him, and Sebastian had to will himself to stop thinking before he fucked this whole thing up. The urge to run and just get the hell out of that room was almost too much to fight, but he had to. This was for Sam, and for Kurt, and most importantly, for _Blaine_, and Sebastian wasn't going to fuck it up by being a pussy when it came to bottoming.

The sound that escaped Sebastian's lips and tumbled onto Sam's lips when Sam added a second finger was something that he'd never admit to in broad daylight, or even around Sam afterwards. A cross between a whimper and a girly, high-pitched moan, it was a hint that Sebastian hadn't been expecting the added intrusion, and so _deep_, too. Sam's fingers were ridiculously long and touched Sebastian in places nobody had ever touched before, and he couldn't stop his heart from pounding or his back from arching or those stupid sounds tumbling from his lips.

Sam seemed to love it all, too, because he didn't warn before adding a third finger, either, and that combined with the way he was lazily jerking Sebastian off had Sebastian writhing on the bed beneath him. Sam just watched in awe as Sebastian's seemingly indifferent exterior seemed to slip away. Now he was just _feeling_, and it made Sam more confident when Sebastian couldn't seem to speak, he was too busy moaning and trying to get more contact. He'd kiss Sebastian from time to time, but most of the time he just leaned back and listened to the little moans and whimpers tumbling so sweetly from his lips. "Do… do you want me to use a condom?" Sam asked as he climbed onto the bed to settle between Sebastian's legs.

Sebastian wanted to scream out that they couldn't fuck like this, that it had to be doggy style to keep it from being too intimate, but the exact opposite happened. "Just… fuck me, Sam. _Jesus_, just fuck me now…" Sebastian panted.

He kept his eyes closed, and it was probably for the better because Sam had an adoring, almost puppy-dog innocent look in his eye that said he wanted this moment to be really special for the two of them _together_. Sebastian resisted, especially when he felt the head of Sam's cock pressing up against his hole, but then their lips met and it was like the same fucking effect, but intensified because there was even more touching. Without even realizing, Sebastian wrapped his arms up and around Sam's neck, and he held him in the kiss as Sam pressed inside of him.

It didn't hurt, per se, but it was definitely uncomfortable, at least at first. Sam moved slowly, gauging his pace on how tightly Sebastian clung to him and how loud his moans were between their lips. If kissing Sam made Sebastian's mind go blank, having him inside of him rendered him absolutely blinded by pleasure. He couldn't think or speak; all Sebastian could do was react and hope that Sam knew what he was doing now.

There was a reason that Sebastian never bottomed for anyone, and this was it. Being on the bottom made a connection between Sebastian and someone else that he never wanted; he was far more vulnerable and exposed around someone than he'd ever been before, and they were taking something from him, so intimate and so valuable and so inherently _his_ that it would be impossible to walk away completely detached and cool about it all.

Sebastian would have his freak-out about it later, that was for sure, but in that moment, all he could do was rock his hips against Sam's, getting used to the intrusion of his cock deep inside of him, deeper than his fingers, and far fuller, too. Sebastian panted small puffs of hot breath against Sam's lips as he got used to it, and when Sam asked if he was okay in a tiny little whisper that only the two of them could hear, Sebastian just nodded and let out a moan, desperate for more.

His entire body felt like it was on fire. Sebastian was completely on edge and filled to the brim, and his knuckles were white where he reached down to cling to Sam's waist, steadying his pace and keeping him at the right angle. Sebastian saw stars when Sam managed to find his prostate and thrust against it, but the speed of his thrusts were almost too slow. It was like Sam was trying to draw this out, to turn it into something_ other_ than just a fuck. Whatever he was playing at, Sebastian didn't appreciate it, and he begged, "F-faster."

Sebastian could feel Sam's lips curl into a smirk against his own, but the speed just barely increased – it definitely wasn't enough to make a difference. Sebastian was desperate to bitch at Sam, to tell him to speed it up or they'd be done, but then the angle changed just barely and Sebastian was moaning repeatedly as Sam slid in and out of him, one of his hands stroking Sebastian's red, leaking cock in time with his hips.

By now, the sounds falling from Sebastian's lips were continuous and far too difficult for Sam to understand, but the amount of words in comparison to the number of moans told Sam that Sebastian felt _very_ good and that he shouldn't stop. Sam screamed at his body to hold on, to fight that urge to fill Sebastian up because he was so tight around him, because this was about getting Sebastian off, not him. The money would ensure that _Sebastian_ felt good; Sam's feelings were secondary and he knew it. It was just far too difficult for Sam not to get turned on knowing he'd made someone feel as good as he apparently made the man beneath him feel.

Sam moaned against Sebastian's lips and picked up his pace, and he whispered, "I… I want you to…" Sam took a shuddering breath and said, "Cum with me…"

Sebastian was certain that he'd never heard _that_ before with someone, because all of his previous hook-ups were purely in his own interest and not anybody else's. Whether the other person got off was completely secondary and irrelevant to Sebastian, but this time it was different. This time, his needs were the most important in someone else's eyes, and that hit him hard.

He squished his eyes shut hard as he seemed to completely lose control of his emotions, and he nodded into Sam's shoulder as he wrapped his arms up around his neck. Sam's eyes fell shut as well, and he buried his face in Sebastian's neck as he felt the man underneath him cum hard, his muscles tensing and white-hot liquid spilling over his hand. Just from feeling Sebastian cum, Sam did as well, deep inside of Sebastian even though he knew it wasn't the best idea.

Neither moved for several minutes as it all sunk in, Sebastian's brain becoming less clouded and Sam becoming far more aware of the situation. He slowly slid out of Sebastian and kissed him gently one last time, which Sebastian responded to eagerly, and then Sam scooted down the bed to stand and gather his shorts. Sebastian's legs were jelly as they flopped on the bed where Sam had once been, and he draped one arm over his eyes as he tried to regain normal breathing.

"So…" Sam trailed off. "About the money…"

Sebastian sighed and sat up, still a bit too weak and worn out as evidenced by the spinning of his head reminiscent of the feeling of a few too many beers before going out to dance. Sam caught him as he swayed, and he sat down on the bed next to Sebastian to keep him steady. "Money's in my jeans…" Sebastian trailed off. "Just… take it all."

"No," Sam shook his head.

Then Sebastian's stomach dropped, because this whole plan had been to put a solid amount of cash in Sam's pocket because he needed it, and maybe with all this cash he'd stop stripping every weekend. "Just take it," Sebastian said firmly.

Sam countered firmness with kindness, and he rubbed Sebastian's back as he handed him his clothes and said, "I can't take it. Not after that."

"After what?" Sebastian asked, his voice cold again.

It shouldn't have surprised Sam when the tone of Sebastian's voice changed, but it still did. The sting of the sudden coldness hit Sam deep, and he shook his head as he said, "It was just… intense. More than you can put money on. So… please, just keep your money."

Sebastian stood up, biting back a laugh, and he tugged on his jeans. He pulled out the roll of fifties and another roll of twenties, and he tossed them both at Sam. "Here you go. Four grand. Good job, Blondie," Sebastian said as he buckled his jeans.

With that, Sebastian tugged on his polo shirt and tried to fix up his hair before he left the room, leaving Sam to stare at the pile of money in his hands through blurry, tear-filled eyes. Sebastian rushed out to his car, fighting the urge to grab an entire bottle of liquor on his way out. When he climbed in, he was thankful for the long drive because he needed it to clear his head. Sebastian drove well over the speed limit and reached Westerville in half the time it took him to drive out to Stallionz in the first place, and he slammed the door to his car hard before he stormed inside his typically-empty home.

Sebastian went right up to his room and angrily pulled out his phone. He sent Blaine a text message telling him that all had gone according to plan, but instead of curling up in bed, Sebastian went into the shower and tried to scrub all the memories away. Never before had anyone made Sebastian _feel_ so much, and so intensely, too. Sam was just a fuck. Sebastian would probably never see him again, and Sebastian had to remember that. This whole being-told-who-to-fuck thing wasn't really working out for Sebastian, and he vowed to never let it happen again. Either that, or he would never let Kurt and Blaine tell him who he should sleep with.

It didn't matter to Sebastian which option seemed like the better one, because he was far more focused on scrubbing away all evidence of what he and Sam had done. Every bead of sweat, every drop of cum dripping down his leg – it was all washed away down the drain where Sebastian would never have to deal with it all again. He'd let Sam get too close, let him too far in, and for what? To fucking _help_ someone, and Sebastian never did that. Kurt and Blaine were obviously a horrible influence on Sebastian, and he cursed them to the moon and back throughout his entire shower and the entire time it took him to fish out the bottle of sleeping pills in the medicine cabinet.

Sebastian swallowed one down and refused to look at himself in the mirror as he tugged on a pair of boxers and wandered into his room from the en suite bathroom. He kicked his desk chair out of the way and almost knocked over his entire bookshelf along with it, and then told himself to just get in bed and forget about it all. The dreamless sleep thanks to the pills would definitely help, and in the morning, Sebastian would forget any of it ever happened.

It would all be for the better, forgetting Sam and what they'd done. Sebastian didn't even want to label it, the whole mess made him so sick to his stomach. It certainly wasn't love-making, and it certainly didn't make Sebastian's heart beat faster, because Sebastian didn't _do_ love, and he never would. It wasn't in the cards for him, though he thought it sickening cliché that of all people, he'd end up feeling something for a _stripper_. It was like the universe was against him, and that was the last thing Sebastian could remember as the medicine dragged him off into a deep, dreamless sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

It only took around a month for Kurt to feel satisfied with the entire plan, knowing that Sam hadn't snuck away at all that entire month. He wanted to go thank Sebastian for what he'd done, but something about Blaine's tone and the way he said it wasn't a good idea actually deterred Kurt. Blaine had no idea what had gotten into Sebastian since that night, but he knew it wasn't good. Sebastian was rude, belligerent, and worst of all – he was absolutely _cold_, even to Blaine, whom he'd promised to be himself around. Things had gone straight downhill for Sebastian and Blaine's relationship since the whole hookup with Sam, if that's even what it was. Blaine didn't even know what the two of them did, all he knew was that the plan worked.

When Kurt was satisfied that Sam wouldn't be leaving anytime soon, he took the opportunity one evening to approach Sam. The blonde sat on his bed, channel surfing mindlessly as he slouched in nothing but a pair of sweatpants. "Hey," Kurt said amicably from where he stood in the doorway.

Sam took a heavy breath before he replied, "Hey."

"Can I come in?" Kurt asked curiously. Sam seemed surprised at the request and just nodded before turning back to the TV, which happened to be blaring an advertisement for some sort of body shaping tank top for women. Sam switched it off and Kurt jumped in right away, "Are you okay?"

"Fine," Sam replied, then looked up at Kurt. "You've been acting weird though, so… are you?"

"Am I okay?" Kurt asked, taken aback at the inquiry. "I mean… yeah, I'm fine, Sam." Kurt laughed nervously and then pressed, "How have I been acting weird?"

Sam shrugged and tossed the remote to the side, then told him, "You've been watching me a lot, and like, you and Blaine are always whispering, so I didn't know if something was up. Something you needed to talk about."

"Oh, no, Blaine and I are fine," Kurt insisted. "We've actually been kind of worried about you."

Those words seemed to make Sam pale a bit, and he turned his attention to Kurt fully as he sat up, cross-legged on the bed, and asked, "Why would you be worried about _me_?"

It was difficult for Kurt to read Sam in that moment, and he wasn't sure if he was pushing his luck by staying, or if it really was good that he was staying and talking to Sam about all of this. "Well, I mean, we were more worried before, because… well, I noticed you leaving on the weekends before, and it worried me. Because… you know you're totally provided for in our house, right? You don't need to go back somewhere to… _work_."

Sam's cheeks flushed deep red and he chewed at his lower lip as he realized that his secret had been found out. He hadn't done it for a while, but the fact that someone had noticed anyway was a bit terrifying. It was like living with Kurt's family meant he couldn't have secrets anymore. They were all so open with each other and Sam's family was close, but they weren't _open_ like that. "I don't do that anymore," Sam replied flatly, avoiding Kurt's eyes.

"I noticed," Kurt told him softly. "I'm glad. I just wanted to make sure that you weren't… hurt or anything. That you quit because you just didn't need to go, not because someone did something to you."

Sam's heart was beating hard in his chest now, too, because he was facing emotions and memories he hadn't planned on facing anytime soon. It was all stuff he'd hoped to push to that back corner of his brain where things were slowly forgotten, but Kurt was digging them out and it filled Sam with an immense sadness that he just wasn't ready to face. "I don't want to talk about this with you," Sam said softly as he climbed off of his bed. He rushed towards the door, and just before leaving, he spun to face Kurt and said, "I quit, okay? That's all that matters."

Sam rushed down the hallway and shut himself in the bathroom, leaving Kurt in his room alone. Privacy was a big thing in Kurt's book, but something about Sam's reaction and the way he was speaking made Kurt think that there was far more to the situation than Sam was willing to talk about in that moment. Against his better judgment, Kurt started peeking around Sam's room until something in his not-quite-closed bedside table drawer caught his eye.

Hesitantly, Kurt reached forward to tug at the drawer, and when he pulled it open, he found rolls of cash with just a smattering of glitter on them that told Kurt exactly where they'd come from. He flipped through the ends of the bills and his eyes widened at how much Sebastian seemed to have paid Sam, and he wondered just how this whole thing had made Sam feel. Maybe there was more to it that Kurt didn't understand, but he couldn't figure it out because Sebastian didn't _do_ feelings. That was the whole reason Kurt thought to ask him in the first place.

When Kurt heard the bathroom door open, he slammed the drawer shut and scampered out the door and around the corner to his own bedroom before Sam could notice him, and he listened as Sam seemed to let small sobs wrack his body the rest of the night. Something had gone down at Stallionz that Kurt and Blaine weren't aware of, and it wasn't part of the plan, that was for sure. Kurt pulled out his cell phone and hastily sent a message to Blaine, who read it with skepticism.

Sure, he knew that there was a problem and that Sam hadn't been quite right since that night, but the fact that Kurt expected Blaine to just go visit Sebastian out of the blue was a little telling to it all. Kurt didn't understand the magnitude of the situation, but Blaine didn't either. Blaine seemed to have a better handle on it though, because he knew that just waltzing into the Smythe home to ask Sebastian what was going on wasn't a good idea _at all_. Sebastian would throw a fit, or worse, and Blaine didn't want to be on the receiving end of that kid's anger. Not when he'd seen the damage he could do in the Dalton Fight Club.

Reluctantly, Blaine decided to try to talk to Sebastian anyway, and he sent him a quick message instead of calling him:

**Blaine:** Hey, haven't heard from you in a while. You okay?

Blaine rested back on his bed, one arm propped behind his head on top of his pillows, the other hand clutching his phone, desperate for some sort of answer from Sebastian, just so he would know that he was at least _okay_, if not better than okay. When his phone finally buzzed, Blaine looked and instantly his stomach dropped.

**Sebastian:** Fuck. Off.

Blaine frowned and his finger lingered over the 'call' button, but he never pressed it. Instead, he just stared at the screen until it went black and put his phone to the side. He had to figure out how to get Sebastian to talk to him, because if he was shutting _Blaine_ out, nobody else had any hope of talking to him, and Blaine was well aware of this.

The following day at school, Kurt did nothing but bother Blaine about what was going on with Sebastian, and by the end of the day Blaine was almost too irritated and annoyed to bother trying to hunt down the Warbler and get him to talk. Blaine knew he had to, though, so he reluctantly told Kurt that he couldn't go to his house because he was going to see Sebastian, but really he was just going to the Lima Bean for a medium drip and the off chance that Sebastian would be there.

Blaine didn't frequent the Lima Bean as much now that their parents allowed them to hang out at each other's houses. It was far less of a desirable "hang out" spot ever since the debacle with Sebastian back in the fall, and even though they were all comfortable with where they stood with each other, going back to the Lima Bean left a bit of a sour taste in their mouths.

Sour taste or not, Blaine walked into the coffee shop and stepped right up to the counter to order his medium drip. After he'd done so, he turned and spotted Sebastian high-tailing it out of the coffee shop. Blaine dashed after him and just barely managed to stop Sebastian from opening the car door. When he did, the look in Sebastian's eyes was completely venomous and almost terrifying if Blaine didn't know that Sebastian wasn't going to hurt him.

Not only did Sebastian look absolutely dangerous, he looked sickly and pale at the same time, and that's what really told Blaine that something was wrong. His expression fell from steely to try to fight Sebastian, to completely sympathetic and almost pleading in hopes of getting Sebastian to open up. Just as Sebastian opened his mouth to presumably shout at Blaine and tell him to leave, he paled even more, and he pushed Blaine out of the way as he ran to the front of his car, to the grassy area in front of it, and vomited. Blaine held back a disgusted face and let Sebastian void his stomach before he pushed for anything. "Let me take you home," Blaine said softly. "We'll get you some ginger ale on the way and you'll be fine."

Sebastian fixed the strongest glare he could on Blaine, but it didn't make the smaller boy budge one bit. He reluctantly sighed and nodded, and then took the keys from Sebastian as he walked around to the passenger's seat. Blaine knew well enough not to push Sebastian for information about anything, especially that night at Stallionz, but he could tell that something wasn't right. Sebastian never sulked like this – he'd always open up, at least to Blaine. Nothing about this situation was making sense and it was _beyond_ frustrating.

They stopped at a convenience store on the way to Sebastian's house and Blaine bought a two liter bottle of ginger ale, and then he drove the rest of the distance to Sebastian's place. When he parked the car outside the front doors, Sebastian seemed to be avoiding Blaine at all costs, but Blaine used the fact that he had the keys to his advantage. Sebastian couldn't get in without him, and at meant he'd have to let Blaine in. "Fuck off," Sebastian muttered, but it was weak and not nearly as intimidating as he'd been hoping for.

Blaine just walked silently into the house and towards the kitchen where he found a glass and poured Sebastian a liberal amount of ginger ale. "It's not going to help," Sebastian shot, trying to keep the upper hand even though he felt horrible. "Never does."

He nodded towards the trash can where two more bottles of ginger ale lay empty in the bin. Blaine grew concerned at that, and he asked, "Have you seen a doctor?" Sebastian simply shook his head before taking a sip of the ginger ale, and then Blaine pressed, "Well, you should make an appointment. Make sure you're okay and all that."

"Make sure that slut didn't pass off some disease to me?" Sebastian shot angrily, slamming his glass down on the counter. "I've felt like shit since that night. It's all your fucking fault. You and that pansy-ass boyfriend of yours, trying to fix things that don't need to be fixed. If he wants to strip, fucking _let him!_ It was none of my business, but you used me – you took advantage of the fact that _I trust you_ and you convinced me to do this!"

Blaine wanted to argue back – it was first instinct, after all – but he bit his tongue. He knew it wasn't his fault, per se, because he'd only suggested it to Sebastian and asked him to consider helping, but Sebastian never had to say yes, and he didn't have to do more than what he was comfortable with. Blaine still felt guilty, though, and he turned to look through the phone book near the kitchen to find the name of Sebastian's doctor. "We should get you an appointment to be sure," Blaine told him, fumbling through until he found an old appointment card from a year or two ago.

"Stop it," Sebastian shot, pushing Blaine out of the way and sending the card flying. His breathing was labored and he felt like he was going to be sick again, but he kept his glare fixed on Blaine in hopes of driving his point home. "I'm not sick. I'm just… well, I'm sick of all this _shit_, but I don't need to go to the doctor."

Sebastian pursed his lips to keep from getting sick, but it was to no avail. Blaine watched sadly as Sebastian dashed down the hall towards the bathroom and was sick again, and before he could fight him, Blaine picked up the card and dialed the number. "Hi, I need to schedule an appointment with Dr. Hayes?" Blaine said into the phone. "Yes, it's for my friend, a patient of his. He's been sick a lot lately and I'm worried about him." A pause. "Smythe. Sebastian. Yep, I can bring him in. Sure, tomorrow at four sounds perfect, thank you."

Blaine set his cell phone back in his pocket and put the appointment card back in the phone book before he took a deep breath and prepared for the ambush of anger he was likely to receive when he walked into the bathroom. Instead of anger, he saw Sebastian slumped over the toilet, exhausted and weak. "Come on," Blaine told him softly. "Let's get you inside and into bed. You need some rest."

For reasons unknown to Blaine, Sebastian didn't fight him at all, and he managed to wipe Sebastian's lips of the vomit and flush it all away before he stood and wrapped an arm around Blaine's shoulder. It was moments like these that Blaine was glad he'd joined fight club, mostly because it gave him strength to practically drag someone bigger than him up two flights of stairs to his overly-lavish bedroom. Blaine set him down on his bed and told Sebastian to take his clothes off, because as Blaine had accidentally learned one day, Sebastian liked to sleep in nothing but boxers.

Blaine had only been visiting Sebastian after Regionals to congratulate him on his performance and thank him for what he'd done for Dave, but he hadn't realize that on a Sunday, Sebastian was prone to sleeping in until nearly one in the afternoon after a late night of partying at Scandals. This time, Sebastian moved slowly and lazily as he tossed his clothes to the side, and he burrowed under the blankets on his bed before Blaine even turned around and chanced the deep crimson blush that would be inevitable if he saw Sebastian without clothes.

When Blaine returned from the bathroom, he put a cold cloth on Sebastian's forehead and pushed his hair out of the way as Sebastian fell asleep almost instantly. He sighed and looked down at Sebastian, the mess he and Kurt had managed to reduce him to, and the knots in his stomach said that this needed to be fixed and _soon_. Blaine hoped that Sam hadn't passed something off to Sebastian, and worse, that if he had, Sam knew he had it and would see a doctor as well. It wasn't any of Blaine's business, though, so he tried to stay out of it.

After a few moments of making sure that Sebastian was okay, Blaine put the desk trash can next to the bed in case Sebastian would need it, and then rifled around on his desk for some post-it notes. Once he'd found them, Blaine scribbled down a message that he'd be back the next afternoon to pick up Sebastian and take him to see the doctor, and that he was taking Sebastian's car with him to be sure that he rested instead of forcing himself to go to school.

With that, Blaine shut off the lights, locked the doors, and left, all the while ignoring the three missed text messages and two missed calls from Kurt. Blaine just couldn't handle any more stress that afternoon, and he opted to surprise Kurt early the next day with coffees and a lavish ride to school instead.

To say that Kurt was surprised when he woke to find a fresh hot cup of coffee from the Lima Bean resting on his side-table when he woke would be an understatement, but the surprise at seeing Blaine right there waiting for him was even more. "What're you doin' here?" Kurt asked groggily, rubbing his eyes to try to compose himself to the usual standards he reserved for Blaine.

Usually Kurt woke before Blaine so he'd never have to see the sleep crusted in the corners of his eyes or the wrinkles or from time to time, the drool down his chin, so the surprise of Blaine being there before he woke really shook Kurt and made him wonder if everything was okay. "I thought I'd come wake you up, take you to school, talk and stuff," Blaine shrugged.

Kurt sat up slowly and tried to fix his hair, but stopped at Blaine's chuckling. Their eyes met, and Blaine said, "You should let me see you like this more often. I like it."

"Ha ha," Kurt rolled his eyes. "What did you want to talk about? The fact that you didn't text or call last night? I was worried."

Blaine frowned and looked down at his hands as he perched himself on the side of the bed, and then he said, "Well, I was a bit distracted. Sebastian… he's, well… he's not okay."

The slight playfulness in Kurt's eyes completely vanished and he sat up a little straighter in concern as he asked, "Wh-what exactly do you mean?"

"He's sick," Blaine said simply. "He's… well, he threw up a lot last night when I was with him, and he said he's been feeling ill since that nice with Sam. I don't know what they did, but… he completely blew up at me. He called Sam some names and said he think Sam passed something off onto him, and… it's a mess."

Kurt frowned and chewed on his fingernail as he tugged his knees to his chest. "That's… not what I wanted to happen," he admitted softly. "Has he seen a doctor?"

"I'm forcing him to," Blaine offered. "I mean, I'm taking him today, because without me I don't think he'd go. I didn't really give him a choice."

"If he got something from Sam, you should tell me," Kurt said firmly. "Then… then I can make Sam sees a doctor, too."

Blaine and Kurt frowned and then their eyes met, and Kurt shook his head, "This isn't what was supposed to happen. It was supposed to be innocent. I don't even know what they _did_."

Words didn't seem to explain what Blaine thought of the whole situation, so he just nodded and said, "I hope we can fix this. I've never seen Sebastian like this before. It's… it's honestly a bit scary, you know? He's usually so composed and in-control."

Kurt nodded in agreement, and he reached out to pat Blaine's arm. "It'll all be fine. He's got you, right?" Kurt asked with a small smile.

Blaine nodded and smiled a bit in return, and then he nodded towards Kurt's coffee. "Drink up, get ready, and I'll drive you to school today. I took Sebastian's car so he couldn't go to school. He needs rest," Blaine explained. "We'll look rich and fancy for a day."

Kurt narrowed his eyes at Blaine because he'd never seen Sebastian's car, but he didn't argue, and he reached over for the mug and took a big drink before he climbed out of bed. Downstairs, Blaine waited on the sofa as he watched the rest of the house (except Burt, who seemed to wake before the sun every day) start waking up and getting ready. Finn didn't even seem surprised to see Blaine at their house, but Sam was taken aback by it and avoided Blaine's eyes at all costs. It was almost as though he knew what had happened and was angry about it. Either that, or Sam was just as upset as Sebastian for one reason or another. The look in Sam's eyes told Blaine he had to sort this out, and _soon_, otherwise things were going to become damaged beyond repair, he was sure.

School passed quickly and nobody seemed to act out of the ordinary, even Sam, but when the end of the day rolled around, Kurt insisted he'd catch a ride home with Finn so Blaine could go right to Sebastian's house. "You don't want to be late for the appointment," he said in a singsong voice.

Blaine nodded and knew he was right, and he hid behind a locker bay to give Kurt a quick kiss on the cheek before he slid out the door towards Sebastian's car and left Kurt with Finn. The entire drive to Sebastian's house, Blaine found himself thinking about the myriad of things that could have happened the night or that Sebastian could be sick with, and it almost made Blaine sick to his stomach just thinking that he and Kurt had been the ones to indirectly cause this pain. Sebastian had been through so much more than he should have at that age, but here he was, suffering even more.

When Blaine got to Sebastian's house, he let himself in and went up to Sebastian's room where the boy was staring down at the post-it note with an unreadable expression on his face. "Hey," Blaine said softly as he walked in. "Ready to go?"

"No."

He should have expected like it wouldn't be simple, but hearing the pain in Sebastian's voice was enough to fill Blaine with a guilt he hadn't known he could feel. "Come on, it'll be over before you know it and then we can just work on getting you better and moving on," Blaine told him softly as he tugged out a pair of comfortable looking jeans and a Dalton sweatshirt.

Sebastian glared at Blaine as though he thought it might change his mind on everything, but when Blaine didn't seem to hedge, Sebastian gave up. He'd humor Blaine, prove to him that he'd really fucked things up, and then leave him to his guilt. So, Sebastian dressed and combed through his hair and crossed his arms as he sat passenger the whole ride to the doctor's office.

Once inside, Sebastian had to fill out paperwork, and by the end he was far crabbier than he had been to begin with, which Blaine hadn't really thought was possible. It took nearly ten minutes' wait before Sebastian's name was called, and he dragged Blaine along without a second thought. They waited another five minutes for the doctor after the nurse wrote down Sebastian's symptoms, and by the time the doctor actually walked in, Sebastian looked ready to kill.

"So," Dr. Hayes began as he looked down at his clipboard with the paperwork from the nurse. "It looks as though you're not feeling the best, am I right?" Sebastian just glared at the doctor, who seemed a bit put-off by Sebastian's behavior, and he asked, "So, besides irritability, increased tiredness, and vomiting, what else can you tell me about how you've been feeling lately? How long have these symptoms been persisting?"

"It's been like… a month? Six weeks? I don't know," Sebastian shrugged, turning to Blaine for some assistance. "I've just been tired and had a lot of a headaches, and I've been getting sick a lot lately."

Dr. Hayes looked confused for a moment, and then he double checked Sebastian's temperature. "It doesn't seem to be any sort of virus, but we'll do a blood check to be sure. I'll have you go down to the lab and we'll take care of that, and those results should be ready after a few minutes. We'll know where to go from there, okay?" he asked.

Sebastian seemed dissatisfied with the solution, but he went down to the lab anyway and let them draw some blood. As they waited in the lobby, Sebastian kept his arms crossed and he only had to get up to get sick once, which in the time span they'd already spent there, Blaine considered quite an accomplishment. When Sebastian's name was finally called, instead of being led back into another exam room, he was led into a separate room with some machines in it. "What is this stuff for?" he asked in confusion.

Blaine stood off to the side, just as confused, but he let Sebastian handle it. Thankfully Dr. Hayes stepped in just at the right moment, because Sebastian's tone appeared to have scared the daylights out of the nurse that had ushered them into the room. "We're just going to do an ultrasound test," he explained simply. "I just need you to pull your shirt off and lay down on the table and we'll take a look."

"Why are you taking an ultrasound test?" Sebastian asked, arms still crossed.

He didn't budge or follow any directions like removing his shirt or laying down because he didn't trust this man and he had no idea what was going on. "Your hormone levels on the test came back a little off, and we need to check and make sure everything inside looks good," Dr. Hayes explained. "No lumps, abnormal parts, missing parts, that sort of thing."

Sebastian looked distrusting, but he at least tugged off his shirt and handed it to Blaine. Then he laid back on the table and Blaine took a seat on the chair next to him. In Sebastian's head, he kept repeating to himself that this sort of thing was for _women_ and that there was nothing wrong with him. This was all Sam's fault and nothing could convince him otherwise. Dr. Hayes switched the machine on and slight buzz could be heard, and Sebastian looked down sharply. "It's just picking up sound, or lack of it," he explained simply. "No need to worry."

Those words never seemed to put Sebastian at ease, no matter how many times the doctor said them, and this was evidenced by the subconscious move Sebastian made down to hold Blaine's hand as the doctor poured some gel on his stomach and put the wand against the skin. Sebastian closed his eyes, his entire face fixed into a glare, and he didn't even flinch when the sound of a heartbeat echoed in the room.

Blaine stared at the screen, though he couldn't make anything out, and he watched as the doctor moved the wand around in an almost frantic nature as he looked at the screen. He seemed confused, and after several minutes of looking, Sebastian snapped, "Well!"

Dr. Hayes looked up at Sebastian in surprise and shook his head. "I just need to have another doctor look at this, and then I can let you know," he replied.

He didn't sound convincing, though, and Sebastian could tell. He knew something was wrong, and his grip on Blaine's hand doubled in intensity as they sat and waited while the doctor paged another. Within seconds, a second doctor was in the room, and they both stared at the screen curiously as the wand traveled over Sebastian's stomach. The heartbeat was constant and echoed throughout the room, and the second doctor pressed the 'print' button before he nodded and Dr. Hayes shut off the machine. "Well, Sebastian, it looks as though you have a very unique condition," Dr. Hayes began explaining as he let Sebastian wipe off his stomach. "Before birth, you must have had a twin – a female, we're guessing – and she passed away before birth. This happened far before birth, but far enough into term for you to absorb some of her… _parts_."

"What the _fuck_ does that mean!" Sebastian asked, his frustration too much for him to hold back after an hour and a half of testing and procedures.

"Well, Sebastian…" Dr. Hayes began hesitantly. He grabbed the image from the printer and held it up to Sebastian as he said, "It means that you're pregnant. You're at about six weeks right now. We're unsure of the direct path of the semen, but it appears as though it has some sort of path towards the uterus. I'd say you're due around Christmas. December 18th or so."

Both Blaine and Sebastian sat frozen, and Sebastian just started shaking his head. "No," he repeated. "No, you're full of shit. I'm a _guy_. There's no baby here," Sebastian said, pointing to his stomach. "This is… it's a fucking tumor or something."

"I'm sorry, Sebastian, but we heard the heartbeat, and the form is there," Dr. Hayes insisted. He pointed down at the image and said, "The head is right here, the body along there," he pointed out the different parts in the ultrasound photo, and then he offered it out to Sebastian. When Sebastian didn't take it, he offered it to Blaine, who took it and thanked him. "We'll have you come in two weeks from now for a checkup to be sure everything is going well and to discuss your options."

Sebastian grumbled about what 'options' he had, and then he hopped off the table and stormed out of the building. Blaine followed close behind at a jog, and when they got to the car, Sebastian was absolutely seething. "Open it. Open the fucking car and take me home," Sebastian said angrily. "Now."

Blaine climbed in quickly and set the photo under his leg, and then started driving towards Sebastian's house. He had so many questions, so many things he wanted to know, but asking Sebastian would only make him angrily. Once they were in the loop outside of Sebastian's house, he turned to Blaine and said, "Get the fuck out of my car and leave me alone."

As much as Blaine wanted to argue, he was terrified, and he wasn't so sure he was comfortable being around Sebastian when he was this angry. Whatever happened with Sam – well, it's probably that exact thing that made Sebastian so angry, but there didn't seem to be anything that Blaine could do to fix it now. They'd messed up worse than he ever thought possible, and even though he knew that Sebastian was strong enough to deal with it, Blaine knew it was dangerous to stick around. He handed the keys to Sebastian and climbed out of the car, and then watched as Sebastian stormed inside and slammed the door behind him.

Blaine dug his phone out of his pocket and phoned Kurt for a ride to go back to the Lima Bean to pick up his own car, and just as he hung up, he could hear a loud, furious shout from inside where Sebastian was likely throwing a fit and possibly breaking things in all of his rage. Blaine wished he could rewind everything and take it all back, but it was too late now. This plan had brought a _life_ into this world, and the worst part was, Sam didn't even know about it.

Telling Sam seemed unimportant, because getting Sebastian to calm down and think rationally about it all was paramount, not only to the baby's health should he choose to keep it, but because not keeping it was a bigger decision than any of them could really understand. When Kurt picked him up, Blaine just offered the photo of the ultrasound over and stared out the window. Kurt's eyes seemed to glaze over as he saw it, and his breath caught in his throat.

"We have to fix this," Kurt said softly, staring down at the tiny little baby in the picture.

Blaine's voice was soft and timid as he sighed and asked, "Yeah, but how?"

They looked up at each other from inside Kurt's car, sad eyes filled with more emotion than they could bear, and neither seemed to have an answer. "Keep that," Kurt said softly, handing it back to Blaine. "We can't tell Sam. Not yet. I imagine Sebastian isn't taking it well."

"That's an understatement," Blaine replied with a dry laugh.

Kurt frowned and nodded, and he said, "First we fix Sebastian, and then we worry about Sam. Deal?"

Blaine knew it was much easier said than done, but he nodded, because he owed it to Sebastian to help him through this. He owed it to Sebastian, and they both owed it to Sam, and there would be a way to fix it, Blaine knew it. What that way was, neither knew yet, but it had to be possible. It _would_ be possible, but the worst was yet to come.


	3. Chapter 3

It was safe to say that Sebastian wasn't going to be leaving his house anytime soon. He opened his laptop and googled as much as he could about this whole male pregnancy thing, but there was almost no research whatsoever posted online. Sebastian nearly smashed his laptop against the wall in frustration, but withheld. He spent a lot of time boxing downstairs, but he got weak quickly and already cursed this baby for wearing him so thin. By the end of the month, he was starting to notice a bump, and Sebastian had never felt so awful in his life.

He was still getting headaches, he was still getting sick, and now on top of it all there was physical evidence. Then to make matters worse, on top of all of that, now Dalton was calling him because he'd been missing classes and Sebastian knew it wasn't long until his parents called him, too. What's worse is not only would he have to have an explanation as to how this was even possible, but he'd probably be expected to tell them what he was going to do about it, too. And that was just something Sebastian wasn't ready to think about it.

By the time Blaine had the courage to show up on Sebastian's door step, Sebastian had ignored seven calls and twenty-six text messages. When he opened the door without thinking and spotted Blaine, Sebastian fixed him with a glare instantly, and tried to slam the door in his face. Blaine held his hand out and stopped him, though, and Sebastian was frozen in surprise. He hadn't been expecting Blaine to stand up to him like that. "Go away," Sebastian breathed venomously.

Blaine just shook his head and ducked under Sebastian's arm as he let himself in. "Not fucking funny!" Sebastian called out after Blaine as he wandered into the house as he pleased.

Sebastian glared and stormed into the living room where Blaine was already making himself comfortable, and he would have leaned over to try to drag Blaine off the couch if he hadn't gotten a sudden wave of sickness right in that moment. Sebastian rushed away to be sick, and when he came back, Blaine was waiting expectantly. The look on his face was one of sympathy and caring, but it still managed to piss Sebastian off. "Get the fuck out of my house," Sebastian said firmly.

Blaine just looked up at Sebastian and asked, "What are you going to do with your baby?"

Sebastian did a double take at that, because nobody had called it his baby – not since the doctor when he found out about it. It was frustrating, to say the least, but something about the words 'your baby' rang in Sebastian's ears and he had to sit down. For the first time since this whole thing began, the full weight of the situation was really hitting him. _His baby_. There was a little life inside of Sebastian, and he was all this little one had, at least in his mind, and a million thoughts whipped through his head until he couldn't think or see or focus, and Blaine watched in horror as Sebastian passed out right there.

Blaine rushed over to catch Sebastian and tug him up onto the sofa to lie down. He fanned Sebastian's face and slowly he watched Sebastian's eyes flutter open. "So it finally sunk in, huh?" Blaine asked in amusement.

Sebastian slapped Blaine quickly at that comment, but he couldn't really say a word because the truth hit him hard. "What are you going to do?" Blaine asked quietly.

He sat back into the corner of the sofa and Sebastian rested backwards with his head upon Blaine's stomach. Absentmindedly, Blaine's fingers ran through Sebastian's hair, and he let him just think for a minute. "I don't know," Sebastian finally admitted. "I can't be a father. I can't be responsible for another life. You see how reckless I am with mine."

"So maybe it's time to grow up a little," Blaine suggested quietly.

Sebastian scoffed, but then the thought of it didn't seem as horrifying as it once had. "It wouldn't be that bad, you know," Blaine added, leaving lots of silence for Sebastian so he could think. "For what it's worth, I think you'd be a really great father."

"No I wouldn't," Sebastian shot instantly. "I'm a fuck up that prefers getting drunk on weekends to doing anything even remotely considered family friendly."

"And why is that?" Blaine pressed.

"Because it's all my father did," Sebastian replied automatically.

Once the words were out in the open, neither spoke; Blaine because he knew he'd just made his point, and Sebastian because he realized just what Blaine had been getting at. He hated the way his father would choose weekend parties and work friends over his family. Sebastian had always been miserable, having nobody but his mother to look up to, and she lived all the way out in Paris. His father was living the good life in Los Angeles, pretending he was a bachelor in his prime, no wife or child scattered across the globe. It was the worst feeling in the world, and Sebastian, no matter how cruel, would never put another through something like that. "So… I should get rid of it then," Sebastian grappled lamely for words.

"You know that's not what I meant," Blaine pointed out. Sebastian didn't say a word, so Blaine continued, "I meant that if you do this, you go through with it and raise this child, it's like, the biggest screw you to your father ever. You can do something as amazing as parenting without a single bit of help from him, without even _learning_ any of it from him, and I'll bet you can do it millions of times better than he could ever hope to."

"Shut the fuck up."

"It's true," Blaine said matter-of-factly. "You know I'm always honest with you, and if I thought this baby would be better off with someone else, I'd tell you. But… I think you'd be good for each other. You need someone in your life besides yourself and me, and I know I can't be there for you in the way that you want, which makes it even harder. Sebastian, you deserve to be loved. Even if it's just your baby that loves you, isn't that better than nobody at all?"

"My mother loves me."

Blaine nodded and said softly, "I… I didn't mean to offend. I know she does. But… you need someone here. A physical presence in your life that can hug you and kiss you and remind you every day how important you are to them. _That's_ what you need, and I think this baby could give you that."

Sebastian snorted and sat up before turning to glare at Blaine, "I don't need _shit_ except to be alone, Anderson."

He stalked towards the kitchen to pour himself more ginger ale, and Blaine called out after him, "Don't shut me out! I'm all you have right now and shutting me out isn't going to help!"

"I'll shut you out all I want to!" Sebastian shouted right back, turning on his heel from where he stood at the refrigerator to fix a hard glare on Blaine. "This is all your fault to begin with! If you hadn't convinced me to go fuck Blondie to get him to stop stripping, I wouldn't be knocked up and none of this shit would be happening!"

Sebastian's voice echoed throughout the huge kitchen and he felt a bit light-headed after letting all of that out, but it made him feel better so he didn't think on it too much. Blaine just stood in the doorway and let the words settle before he asked softly, "So… it's Sam's then?"

Blaine's question didn't even dignify an answer in Sebastian's mind, so he just glared even more before he turned to pour himself more ginger ale. "You're going to turn into a giant ginger root if you keep drinking that. It won't help. Maybe we should go out and get some food," Blaine suggested.

"I order take-out."

"You can't hide in this house forever," Blaine pointed out.

"Yes, I can."

Sebastian seemed dead set on the fact that he could stay in the house and hide this from everyone, but then Blaine challenged him, "So, if you're hiding here forever, then that means you're having it for sure, right? Because you can't possibly see a doctor about getting rid of it, or go out and arrange an adoption if you're going to stay here. I mean, you'll have to let a midwife in or something to get the baby out, but… I mean, at least you made up your mind."

Blaine didn't like being so harsh, but he knew it was the only way to impress upon Sebastian the weight of what he was doing and what he had yet to go through. Sebastian froze at his words, just as Blaine had anticipated, and then he spun around to say, "I leave when I have to."

"That doesn't answer anything, though," Blaine pointed out. "Are you keeping it or not? Are you giving it up for adoption or not? You need to think about this, Sebastian, because if you don't want to keep it, your window of time to have an abortion is nearly over. You have one week to decide so you can have the procedure the next if you're not keeping it."

"I'm not killing it!"

Again, Sebastian's voice echoed throughout the kitchen, and this time Blaine stood in slight surprise at the confession. He'd been thinking for a bit that Sebastian might give up and just have an abortion, but he was proven wrong, and happily so. Blaine couldn't help the smile crossing his features when Sebastian turned to look at him, and he said, "I'm proud of you."

Sebastian scoffed and rolled his eyes, moving past Blaine to go out into the living room to relax. He knew Blaine would follow, so he moved as fast as he could to separate the two of them so it would take longer for Blaine to catch up. "That's one big decision out of the way," Blaine said as he wandered into the room slowly, his hands in his pockets. Sebastian just sipped on his ginger ale and ignored most of what Blaine was saying. "It doesn't answer everything, but it gives you time."

Their eyes met as Sebastian glanced up over the lip of his cup, and he hated the fact that telling someone that he wasn't going to have an abortion actually felt like a weight off of his chest. "Have you told your parents yet?" Blaine asked as he sat down next to Sebastian. The glare he was fixed with answered the question for Blaine, and then he said, "It's fine. I understand. Are you going to tell Sam?"

"Are you kidding me!" Sebastian asked incredulously. "Blaine, the kid was stripping he was so desperate for money. There is no way in hell he's going to be able to handle having to support a baby, not with how his finances are already."

Blaine opened his mouth to argue, but Sebastian cut him off. "No. None of that optimistic he-might-love-me shit. He doesn't love me, I only let him top because I was doing what you said – _any means necessary_ – so fuck off."

Sebastian slouched on the couch, buried under several blankets now like he was wont to do when he got stressed or upset, and Blaine didn't say another word. He and Sebastian had talked late into the night in evenings past about anything and everything, and on one of those nights, Sebastian had revealed that he'd never bottomed. He wasn't a romantic or hopeful or anything, but he hadn't met anyone that made him feel good enough to do that for. Sebastian liked control so he could keep himself from getting hurt, and therefore he always topped.

Blaine wondered what was different about Sam, what made him so monumentally unique and apparently special that Sebastian would bottom. Blaine didn't buy the "you told me to" excuse for a second, because he knew Sebastian didn't mind fucking off when he was uncomfortable. He'd done it plenty of times before and it didn't seem like that would change anytime soon. Blaine's thoughts lingered on it for a while, and then he said, "Well, you don't have to worry about that right now. You're almost at three months, which is exciting, right? How long until you know if it's a boy or a girl?"

"I don't care."

Sebastian was unmoving in his cocoon of blankets, and Blaine glanced over at him sadly. He'd gotten a lot out of Sebastian in that evening, so he didn't feel like pushing his luck any further. "Okay," Blaine nodded softly. "It's fine. Do you want me to go to the doctor with you next time?"

"No."

The short answers were very telling, and Blaine knew it was his cue to leave. He sighed and stood up, but turned back to face Sebastian before he left. "You can do this, Sebastian. I have faith in you, and… I'll help you in any way I can. You're my friend, and that means something to me. No matter what, I'll be here," Blaine told him softly.

Sebastian stared off into the distance, pretending to ignore Blaine's words, when in reality he was seconds away from some sort of mental breakdown. He couldn't handle the emotions and the situation and on top of it all, the damn _friendship_, because he'd never had to handle any of it before. Blaine left and the door slammed in the background, and Sebastian set his ginger ale to the side so he could tug the blankets up over his head and let out a few screams before his exhaustion got the better of him and dragged him to sleep.

Weeks passed by and Sebastian was at sixteen weeks by the time Dalton started calling daily asking where he was. By eighteen weeks, the calls had stopped completely and Sebastian was beginning to wonder what they'd decided to do instead. He had another appointment scheduled for Friday, and the doctor had made a big deal last time about the fact that Sebastian would find out if it was a boy or girl at this next ultrasound. He'd seemed unenthusiastic at the time, but now he was nervous. Knowing if it was a boy or a girl was a big deal – it made it all so much more real and he wasn't sure if he could handle it. Against his better judgment, Sebastian pulled out his phone and dialed Blaine's phone number. "Hello?" Blaine asked curiously.

"You're coming with me on Friday."

"O-oh," Blaine replied in surprise. "I… sure, what time?"

"Four. Pick me up when you're done with school."

Blaine agreed, and Kurt seemed to understand completely when Blaine postponed their coffee date. Kurt was far more agreeable about Blaine hanging out with Sebastian now that this whole mess had begun, but at the same time his concern was growing. He'd seen once how damaging not seeing the baby's development could be to a father – Puck had seemed to upset throughout most of Quinn's pregnancy that he hated knowing Sam was going through the same thing – but Kurt respected Sebastian's privacy. He didn't press him to tell, and he certainly didn't tell Sam for him, but he hoped every day that Sam would find out and still get a chance to be involved, because he knew Sam would want to.

Blaine left school right away when the bell rang on Friday, and when he pulled up outside Sebastian's house, he was surprised to see that Sebastian was already sitting outside on the steps, wringing his hands. "You okay?" Blaine asked as Sebastian climbed into the car.

"Just drive," Sebastian replied flatly.

Blaine couldn't figure out what was so worrisome about this appointment, but as soon as they got there and were called to the back, it all made a lot more sense. Sebastian was going to find out the sex of the baby. So, Blaine obediently sat next to the table (Dr. Hayes probably assumed he was the father by now, Blaine was sure) and he offered up his hand when Sebastian seemed to be grappling around for something to hold on to. Blaine could feel how Sebastian's hand was clammy and sweaty, and the way it trembled with nerves and a bit of something else, perhaps emotion. It was a big day for Sebastian, and Blaine wanted to be as supportive as possible.

Dr. Hayes looked around, muttered how the baby looked healthy and like it was developing well, and he drew out the tension before revealing the gender. Blaine could feel Sebastian positively trembling by the time he found out, but when the words were uttered that it was a girl, Sebastian's hand relaxed and he let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. "Congratulations," Dr. Hayes told Sebastian with a smile.

Sebastian's expression was unreadable, and he slowly cleaned off his stomach. The doctor offered Sebastian a new ultrasound photo, and this time he actually held it and stared down at it. "You okay?" Blaine asked softly as the doctor left. He stood next to where Sebastian sat on the cot, and Blaine rubbed his back gently to try to calm him. "Congratulations, Sebastian. She's a lucky girl."

The shock of it all was still more than Sebastian could handle, and he was almost robotic as he stood and let Blaine lead him out of the building and towards the car. When they got in the car, Blaine asked, "You feeling okay? What do you want to do?"

Sebastian just shook his head, so Blaine took that as he should make the decision. He checked to be sure that Sebastian was wearing enough to cover the bump that was now prominent on his slender figure, and his sweatshirt was perfect. The wind was brisk and the weather wasn't too warm, so he wouldn't stand out, either. So, knowing that, Blaine drove them into the city and parked outside of a strip mall that was quite convenient for them. "Let's get some frozen yogurt," Blaine suggested, tugging gently at the ultrasound and putting it to the side to get Sebastian's attention.

They climbed out and went inside, and Blaine treated Sebastian to some frozen yogurt, and the two sat outside under an umbrella eating. Blaine finished his almost right away, but Sebastian was nibbling lightly at the food. Once Sebastian had finally finished his, Blaine stood up and led Sebastian down the strip mall and into a baby store. "Blaine, what the fuck?" Sebastian whispered, and Blaine was just glad to have gotten him talking again.

"I want to buy you something," Blaine replied, searching through the racks.

"I don't even know if I'm keeping her!" Sebastian hissed.

Blaine shrugged and said, "Well then, make sure whoever adopts her brings it with, I guess."

Blaine knew by the way Sebastian had been looking at those photos that giving her up for adoption seemed very unlikely. The more Sebastian learned about the baby, it seemed like the more he got attached to her, and that would only make saying goodbye even more difficult. Blaine spotted some little baby outfits on the wall, but Sebastian stopped him. "No. No way in hell you're buying her something pink. Gender neutral or I'm not accepting it at all," Sebastian told Blaine firmly.

Confused, Blaine turned and asked, "But…you know that it's a girl, so…"

"I don't care," Sebastian replied. "Let her decide what she wants to do. All that gender stereotyping is bullshit and this place reeks of it. So pick something gender neutral or don't get anything at all."

Blaine fought the smile that was threatening to cross his lips, purely because he knew that if he actually smiled, Sebastian would flip out. The way he was already getting so protective of her was rather telling, and Blaine just nodded and walked towards a rack of baby outfits. They were little, though the label read 'newborn' so Blaine knew they were the right side, and he slowly reached out to pull an outfit from the shelf. It had a yellow onesie with pants to go with it, little brown, yellow, and green striped pants with feet at the bottoms of them. "What about this?" Blaine asked. "It's gender neutral, right?"

Sebastian eyed it warily, and he took the outfit from Blaine to stare down at it. "It's too small," he said simply.

Blaine chuckled a bit at that, but Sebastian didn't share his amusement. Instead, he glared down in annoyance at Blaine. "It's the right size, Sebastian. See? It says newborn right here," Blaine pointed to the tag where it said just that.

"Mine will be bigger."

Blaine snorted in laughter before he could stop himself, and it took Sebastian a few seconds to realize _why_ Blaine was laughing so hysterically, and when he did, he joined right in. Their raucous laughter drew the attention of several other customers, and Blaine knew they should probably leave. He walked towards the counter with the baby outfit and purchased it before leading Sebastian out of the store. Once he did, he handed Sebastian the bag and said, "Here. Your first baby gift. Congratulations again, Sebastian. Really."

Sebastian glanced up at Blaine, still caught off guard by the happiness that seemed to surround this whole event, and he took the bag silently. He wasn't good at saying thanks or being polite, so he just nodded, and Blaine knew what it meant. Sebastian felt so confused and emotional and just… _overwhelmed_ by it all that he couldn't say much else to the situation. Blaine brought him home after that, and Sebastian walked inside on his own so Blaine could go spend his Friday night with Kurt.

Being alone was really a horrible thing that evening, Sebastian decided. He wanted to share this with someone, because for once it all didn't seem so horrible. Sure, Sebastian still despised his body and basically cursed his mother and whatever twin sister he almost had for making him into this… _freak_… but at the same time, he couldn't be angry because he never felt as alone as he had before. On the contrary, Sebastian had actually found himself talking to the baby.

After his showers, Sebastian would stand in front of the mirror in his boxers, rubbing the baby bump and talking to it. At first he'd yelled at it and cursed it, but now he talked to _her_. He had _her_ to go to when nobody else was there, and already it was the most amazing feeling in the world. Sebastian hadn't felt this connected to a person since… _well, _it had been a while, and he liked it a lot.

So much that he already knew her name.

That evening after his shower, Sebastian stood in front of the mirror, rubbing his belly like he always did, except this time his voice was soft and tender, though his words may not have been. "You're such a pain, you know that?" he asked, staring at his reflection. "I'm always aching – my head, my back, my fucking _feet_ – I fucking hate it." Sebastian let his hands rest atop his stomach as he sighed and said, "But… you're _mine_, Maddie. You're mine and you're all I've got. Blaine's going to leave with Kurt eventually, mum is never coming back from Paris, and father wishes I didn't exist." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he said, "It's just you and me, Madeline. It always will be."

With that, Sebastian wandered into his room and climbed underneath his blankets, perfectly content to sleep forever, just to escape thinking about what would happen in the next few months. It was too terrifying to really think about, especially now that he was halfway through this pregnancy thing.

Unfortunately, he couldn't escape it all forever, because he received a very expensive phone call from Paris at about twenty-two weeks. "Sebastian, darling?" his mother asked with concern once he answered. "What's going on? Why have I gotten a call from your school that you're missing?"

"I'm not going," Sebastian replied simply.

"Does this have something to do with the extensive medical bills I've been receiving? Honey, if you're sick, let me know. I'll have our jet fly you out here so I can take care of you," she offered.

Sebastian had heard that a million times, but the jet never fully managed to make it to Ohio when he needed it for some reason or another. "I'm pregnant, mom," Sebastian said, deciding to just get it out in the open.

"So the doctor says," she mused. "You're not very good at keeping secrets, baby. You know Dr. Hayes tells me everything."

"Because you're fucking him," Sebastian mumbled.

"Excuse me?" she asked, having not understood his mumbling.

With a heavy sigh, Sebastian replied, "Nothing, mum. It's nothing. I'm fine."

"Baby, Dr. Hayes also told me you haven't aborted it. Sweetheart, you're a junior in high school. You have your whole life ahead of you. Couldn't fatherhood have waited?" Mrs. Smythe asked hesitantly.

"It's not like I planned it," Sebastian shot angrily. "Dammit, mum, don't you realize! It was an _accident_, just like I was!"

"Sweetheart, no, you're not an accident."

"Dad seems to think otherwise," Sebastian replied rudely. His tone was tense and he was starting to feel a stomachache and a new wave of nausea come on. "Just… can we not talk about it?"

"Sebastian, we need to talk about this," his mother countered. "So, you're giving it up for adoption, then?"

"_It_ is a _she_, and no, I'm not."

The line was silent for a minute before his mother stammered out softly, "Wh-what?"

Sebastian took a deep breath and admitted out loud for the very first time, "I'm keeping her. Her name is Madeline Samantha Smythe and she's mine. I'm not giving her up."

It seemed as though Sebastian's mother didn't know what to say at first, but when she finally composed herself, she sounded a bit teary-eyed. "Okay, sweetheart. Okay. You can keep her. But you can't quit school. You can graduate and go to college and have a baby. I know it. You're strong, baby," Mrs. Smythe told him.

"I don't want kids at school to find out I'm… a _freak_," Sebastian admitted.

"I understand," his mother said softly. "Give me a few days to make arrangements and I'll talk to you again and tell you how we'll deal with this, okay? Can you do that for me, Sebastian?"

"Waiting is all I've done since this shit started, mum," Sebastian replied in annoyance.

Mrs. Smythe chuckled a bit and told him, "Okay, sweetheart. I know. I'll talk to you soon. I love you, Sebastian."

"Love you too, mum."

The phone call ended, and Sebastian buried his face in his pillows as he realized what he'd just said. He'd told his mother, and she didn't seem to mind, and on top of it all… he'd admitted out loud for the first time that he was keeping the baby. The weight of everything was too much, and Sebastian wandered upstairs to take a shower to try to convince himself that he wasn't crying.

Blaine came by mid-week to talk to Sebastian and see how he was doing, and when he did, he was surprised to see that Sebastian was so peaceful. It was unnerving and made Blaine wonder if something was seriously wrong, so when Sebastian was in the kitchen making smoothies for the two of them instead of pouring himself his usual glass of ginger ale, Blaine asked, "Sebastian… is everything okay with you?"

Sebastian kept himself busy adding strawberries and bananas into the blender as he nodded and said, "Sure. Why?"

"You're… calm. You're not angry," Blaine commented slowly.

Sebastian started up the blender and let the sound of the ice and fruit and everything mixing together cover up any words either might want to say, and Sebastian didn't reply until he had poured them each a smoothie. "I'm fine," he shrugged simply. "I'm not going back to Dalton. Mum seems okay with it. I'm a fucking huge cow, but… I don't care."

Blaine looked impressed, but still not convinced that Sebastian was really okay, so he asked, "And?"

Sebastian shrugged simply and said, "I'm keeping her."

The simple confession, and how easy it was for Sebastian to just admit it, made Blaine's eyes widen in surprise. "You… really?"

"Yeah," Sebastian nodded, wandering out onto the porch to sit in the sunlight. "You know I think 99% of the people on this planet are fucking stupid, and that I don't trust anyone unless they really prove themselves to me, so why the fuck would I let someone near my daughter? Maddie is mine and nobody is going to fuck up her life," Sebastian replied simply. "I don't trust anyone else with her, and I'm not going to let anyone have her. She's mine."

Blaine looked up at Sebastian with admiration, and he said, "It makes sense. And… you know you can do it? Like, you're confident in yourself?"

"Blaine, look who you're talking to," Sebastian said flatly. "I'm Sebastian Smythe. I can do almost anything, and I will. Including being a single father."

Blaine bit his lip for a moment before he spoke up, "You don't necessarily have to do it alone, you know."

"Not interested in Blondie," Sebastian replied flatly, but the way his eyes were averted made Blaine think otherwise.

It wasn't worth pressing, though, so Blaine just changed the subject and asked, "So… Maddie? You named her already?"

"Yeah," Sebastian shrugged. "It's the first name that came to mind, and it's short for Madeline, which is French, so it's fitting, don't you think?"

"And her middle name?" Blaine pressed.

Sebastian almost said it, but then he stopped himself. The middle name didn't have much reasoning behind it besides it was a longer, female version of 'Sam,' and after the way he'd just said he wasn't interested in Sam, Sebastian knew it would be completely idiotic to say it. "I haven't decided on one yet," Sebastian lied.

Blaine looked at Sebastian curiously because of the tone in his voice, but he didn't push the issue. "I'm happy for you, Sebastian. You're going to be a great father. Maddie is so lucky to have you," Blaine told him.

"I know," Sebastian teased.

Blaine was glad to see that Sebastian was getting some of his usual demeanor back instead of reverting to his sulking, moody counterpart. Having the old Sebastian back, as much as possible given the circumstances, made Blaine quite a bit more relaxed with the whole situation, and it gave him hope that maybe this would work out far better than he or Kurt expected.


	4. Chapter 4

When Sebastian's mother had told him that she'd talk to him in a few days after making "arrangements," whatever the hell that meant, he'd been expecting her to make another phone call. What he _hadn't_ been expecting was for the doorbell to ring at a quarter to eight on a Tuesday morning. Slowly Sebastian trudged downstairs to open the door, just to find his mother standing on the doorstep. She was wearing her usual sundress and large hat and oversized sunglasses, and her heels clicked as she wandered into the house and pulled him into a big hug as she removed her hat. "Sebastian, sweetheart, you look so grown up!" she cried out happily.

Sebastian weakly hugged her back and led her inside, kicking the door shut as he did, and when they were inside, he looked at her in confusion and asked, "Mum, what are you doing here? I didn't even realize you knew where this house _was_."

"Of course I know where it is!" she wandered even further into the house and towards the kitchen, and then she suggested, "Let's open a bottle of wine to celebrate. I haven't seen you in forever!"

"I'm not drinking, mum," Sebastian said in annoyance from where he stood, arms crossed, in the doorway.

Mrs. Smythe turned, a bit put out, to face her son, and when her eyes fell on his very bare and very round belly, she nodded and said, "Well, I'll just have some wine then. I'll celebrate for the both of us."

"I've been living here alone, mum. There's no alcohol in this place."

For once, it wasn't a lie. Sebastian knew he was prone to binge drinking at the first mention of things going wrong, so to be safe, he'd poured it all down the drain as soon as he'd decided to keep Maddie. There wasn't a drop of alcohol in the house, and he preferred it that way. Mrs. Smythe looked extremely disappointed, but she nodded and set her hat and sunglasses on the kitchen counter before she wandered over to Sebastian to get a good look at him. He was now a full head taller than her, but quite obviously inherited her slender frame and wide smile. His eyes sparkled just like hers did, too, and the resemblance was something Sebastian wasn't exactly ashamed of. It was much preferred, in his opinion at least, that he looked like his mother more than his father. "Sweetheart, are you keeping healthy? Vitamins and medications, just like the doctor says?" Mrs. Smythe asked.

Sebastian pointed to the counter next to the sink where five bottles sat, along with a pill container in front that was opened on Sunday and Monday. "You haven't taken yours today," she commented.

"You woke me up," Sebastian shot bitterly.

He poured himself a glass of juice and then went to the counter to empty out the pills into his hand. Three vitamins, two hormone pills, and he swallowed them all in one gulp like it was no problem at all. "What are you doing here, mum?" he asked, turning around and leaning against the counter.

Sebastian's arms crossed over his belly and he watched her expectantly, waiting for some sort of amazing answer that might make getting out of bed so early actually worth it. "I came to see you. I figured everything out for you, baby," she said with a smile.

"Stop calling me baby, mum. I'm seventeen and I'm going to be a father. It's just… wrong to call me that now," Sebastian told her, avoiding her eyes. Mrs. Smythe frowned, but resolved to call the baby by that nickname instead, then. "And what arrangement have you made?" he asked.

Sebastian didn't trust his mother as far as he could throw her, because 'arrangement' to her might mean 'hell' to him, or at least it had when she decided he should go back to America for schooling. "You're moving, sweetheart. I bought you and Maddie your own apartment out in the city. It's gorgeous and has plenty of room for the two of you. It's completely yours, so no need to worry about rent or anything," Mrs. Smythe told him. "It's private and spacious and already furnished with everything you two will need."

He seemed skeptical that she knew what they'd need, because he'd been raised by a nanny, not her, but Sebastian didn't speak a word. He just waited for her to continue, because he was sure there was more. "I've also hired a private tutor that is sworn to the utmost secrecy. Nobody will know about your condition and she has been legally bound not to tell a soul," his mother explained to him. "You will catch up on junior year this summer, and the tutor can work with you next year as well. You're well ahead in your classes so you could complete a full diploma early, if you wish. A lot will be online but there will be two meetings per week, one on Mondays and one on Thursdays, to give assignments and then collect them."

Sebastian was put at ease, because he knew he could work ahead and finish school early if he wanted. What he really wanted to do with his life didn't necessarily require a college degree, and he wasn't going to worry about that until he could send Maddie off to school. Sebastian already decided that babysitters just weren't going to cut it when it came to her, and he'd trust her alone with nobody except himself. She was his one constant in his life that he would always have there, and Sebastian wasn't willing to risk anything happening to her, no matter what it cost him.

"That doesn't explain why you're here, mum," Sebastian said, annoyed.

"I wanted to see you! Can't a mother come visit her son?" she asked. When Sebastian didn't seem amused, she sighed and said, "I missed you. I want to see you and I want to make sure you and my granddaughter are healthy. That, and I'm stealing you away so we can buy everything for her room."

Sebastian raised his eyebrows, and she asked, "What? Can't a grandmother spoil her granddaughter? It's only my _dream_, let me tell you!"

At her words, Sebastian smirked and said, "No pink. No frills. No lace. I want her to decide just how feminine she wants to be in her own time. If she'd rather throw on jeans and go play football, I'll let her."

Mrs. Smythe seemed very put out by this all, but she didn't argue. She knew her son enough to know that he wouldn't budge on any of it, and she fully intended on sneaking something pink in sometime during that girl's childhood. When, she wasn't sure, but Mrs. Smythe was clever enough to make it happen. "Go shower and get dressed. I'll make you some breakfast and then we'll get going."

Against Sebastian's better judgment, he did just that, and after his shower and struggling into a polo shirt (he'd bought one a couple sizes too big and it still stretched over his stomach), he went downstairs to find a full French toast breakfast waiting at the table for him. "I'll make us some smoothies to have with them. I've been having them a lot lately," Sebastian said as he started rifling around in the refrigerator for some fruit.

He peeled some kiwi to put in the blender, along with strawberries, a bit of banana, and the rest of the ingredients. Mrs. Smythe watched in amusement from her place at the table, and when Sebastian finally noticed her staring, he asked, "What?"

"I craved smoothies when I was pregnant with you," she said simply.

Sebastian wasn't sure what to say to that, but the connection made him feel something, and that didn't happen often. He and his mother weren't close by traditional terms, but they shared a lot genetically, which made Sebastian feel close to her just out of fact. He poured them each a smoothie and they sat down and ate breakfast, and for a little bit, Sebastian actually felt normal.

They went to private baby boutiques she knew about where they wouldn't be seen by anyone – on the contrary, they had the stores to themselves most of the time. Sebastian was sure his mother paid the stores to close just for them, but he wasn't going to argue. It wasn't as though he actually wanted people to know he was pregnant. He hated explaining it; most of the time he got stressed and irritated and that certainly didn't help matters any.

Shopping irritated him anyway, and they left with almost nothing at every store. By the time Sebastian's mother was driving them to the apartment, he was definitely ready for it, and he was ready to kick her out, as well. Stepping inside, Sebastian stared for a moment. It was a very wide-open apartment. The living room had one wall entirely consisting of windows from floor to ceiling, and there was a fireplace at the end of it. The balcony spanned the whole wall of the living room, and the adjacent kitchen was decorated with dark granite and stainless steel.

The bedrooms and bathroom were down the hall, and Sebastian's room was perfect. It was understated, simple white with black painted furniture and black sheets, and the room down the hall for Maddie disgusted him. "We're repainting the whole thing," he said the instant he saw it. The walls were floor to ceiling pink, the crib was white with pink blankets, and the rocking chair was a disgusting shade of pink. "I'm redecorating the whole place."

"Sweetheart, don't strain yourself. We'll pay someone to re-do it, you just tell mummy what you want, okay?"

"Stop babying me!" Sebastian shouted. "I'm not going to 'tell mummy what I want,' I'm going to fucking tell you what I want like an adult because whether you like it or not, I _am_ an adult now. I'm a parent. So we're painting the room white. I want the whole room white. Everything. Walls, blankets, chair… all of it. So make it happen before December."

Mrs. Smythe nodded and patted his back, and she said, "I will, Sebastian. I promise."

She walked out into the living room to make a phone call to the decorators, and Sebastian sat down in the rocking chair and looked around. The room was sickening, but the fact that he was going to have his own place and really raise this child on his own was terrifying. He knew he could do it, but the thought of actually having to _try_ to do it was really bothering him.

When his mother walked back into the room, she told him, "I talked to the decorators, and they'll fix up the room for you exactly as you want it. They'd like you to wait until next month to move in."

"Fine."

She didn't seem surprised by his snippiness, and instead she knelt down in front of this. "You can do this, Sebastian. I'm so proud of you, sweetheart, and I can already tell you love her," Mrs. Smythe said softly, reaching up to hold the sides of his face in her hands.

Sebastian's eyes met hers, and he nodded solemnly. "Now… I've been meaning to ask you," she said, leaning back on her heels and settling her hands on her thighs. "The other father…"

"He's irrelevant."

"Does he know?" she replied instantly.

"No," Sebastian shook his head simply. "And he's not going to. He doesn't care."

His mother looked confused for a moment, and she asked, "So it's not the boy that's been going with you to your appointments?"

"No, that's my _friend_. He's seeing someone else," Sebastian replied bitterly.

Mrs. Smythe could tell she'd found a tender spot, and she said quietly, "Well, I understand if you think the other father doesn't understand, but it would be a common courtesy to tell him. Let him know you don't expect anything monetary, or any help whatsoever, but… every person deserves to know that they're a father."

Sebastian glared at her and crossed his arms. He wasn't prepared to deal with this sort of thing, and he certainly didn't want the stress of figuring out how to tell someone something so important. "Take me home," Sebastian said softly.

Without a single argument, Mrs. Smythe did as Sebastian asked. She walked him to the door, and when they got there, she leaned up to kiss his forehead. "I love you, Sebastian, and I'll come back in December. I'll stay at the house so you have space, but… I want to be here when she's born. I want to see her," she told him softly. Sebastian just nodded, and she gave him a small smile before she said, "Goodbye, sweetheart."

Sebastian nodded again and waved as she walked out to her car and drove away, back to the airport, presumably. He wandered back inside, just to find Blaine already sitting on the sofa, except this time he wasn't alone. Kurt was sitting next to him, staring blatantly at his belly, whereas Blaine was looking up at Sebastian's face. "What are you guys doing here?" he asked angrily.

"Visiting," Blaine said simply. "You're almost five months now, it's kind of exciting."

Sebastian rolled his eyes and wandered into the kitchen, only to become frustrated when he couldn't find any more fresh fruit. He'd used the last of it that morning for breakfast with his mother. "Sebastian, I wanted to come by and tell you how sorry I am that things didn't work out the way we'd hoped," Kurt said, following him into the kitchen.

Blaine tried to hold him back, but it didn't work. "Don't go feeling sorry for yourself, gay face, it doesn't look good on you," Sebastian said with a laugh. He glanced over his shoulder at Kurt, and then opted to start making himself a sundae instead with the nice cream in the freezer. "If you really cared you would have come to talk to me sooner."

Kurt glared over his shoulder at Blaine, because he had, in fact, tried to talk to him sooner, but Blaine convinced him otherwise. "Look, Sebastian, we just both want to be supportive of you," Blaine tried lamely, trying to fix whatever Kurt had done to damage the situation.

"I think you should tell Sam," Kurt blurted out.

Sebastian dropped the ice cream scoop on the counter and spun around to face them as Blaine froze, wincing, and Kurt just fixed a hard gaze on Sebastian. When his eyes locked with Kurt's, it was like there was so much tension in the room nobody could shift without hurting someone else. "It is _none_ of your business who I choose to tell," Sebastian said venomously, his voice low and dangerous as he walked towards Kurt. "If I don't want Sam to know, he won't. If I want him to know, he will. I don't have his phone number, and we're not Facebook friends, so _oh_, guess what? Blondie isn't going to find out. Got it, Hummel?"

Sebastian backed away but never dropped his glare, but Kurt's gaze fixed right back at Sebastian and he shook his head, "No. It's not right. Sam deserves to know."

"Guys, just…" Blaine tried desperately to stop them.

"I don't recall any of this ever involving you at all," Sebastian smirked, his gaze still dangerous. "I may be almost five months pregnant, but I could still kick your ass, and I will if you don't shut your fucking mouth and let me make my own decisions. This all happened because of your stupid fucking plan, and I'm dealing with it _my_ way, so the least you could do is back the fuck off and _let me_."

Kurt's glare intensified, and his voice was frighteningly low as he said, "You tell him or I will. By the time I leave for NYADA."

Blaine shot a pleading look Kurt's way, but Kurt didn't even notice. It was as if Blaine was just realizing how much of a mistake it was to bring Kurt with him to Sebastian's house. Sebastian let out an incredulous laugh as he turned to Blaine to say, "Keep better control of your boyfriend, Blaine. He thinks he's dangerous." He turned back to look at Kurt, but kept speaking to Blaine, "Get your boyfriend the fuck out of my house before I force him out, and it won't be pretty."

Blaine wanted to plead with Sebastian for him to calm down, to relax before he hurt the baby, but he was far too sympathetic towards how Sebastian must be feeling by Kurt's words. Blaine grabbed Kurt by the arm and dragged him out the door, and when they got out to Blaine's car, he was shouting at him. "I thought we agreed on nice and gentle! Not… _that_!" Blaine shouted.

"I'm sorry but he is looking for _way_ too much sympathy. He needs to man up and realize what's happening and realize that _he's not the only one involved in this, _Blaine!"

"You haven't seen him throughout this whole thing," Blaine said, pointing towards the door. Blaine was livid with Kurt, and he wasn't going to hide it. "At the beginning of it all, I was afraid to leave him because I thought he'd try to hurt himself or the baby. He's gotten used to this whole mess! And guess what? It's kind of our fault, so bullying him into telling Sam _isn't_ the answer!"

"How is he _better_!" Kurt asked in shock. "He's still wandering around whining like a little kid."

"You attacked him, Kurt!" Blaine pointed out, his voice changing from pleading to begging. "Kurt.. this isn't worth it. You can't tell Sam, okay? You have to let him… if he's ever ready to. I know you don't understand the whole situation, but… I can't explain it to you. I'm… it's not my place."

Kurt narrowed his eyes at Blaine, but could see in Blaine's eyes how torn he was. "Fine," Kurt shook his head. "Fine, I won't tell Sam, but Blaine… he _deserves_ to know."

"I know," Blaine nodded softly as he walked around to the driver's side of the car to get in. "I know he does, but… that's up to Sebastian."

Kurt climbed into the car at the same time as Blaine, and Sebastian stared out his open bedroom window as the two drove away. He'd heard the entire thing, and he was filled with more emotions than he was ready to handle.

August rolled around, and Sebastian felt the pressure to find a way to tell Sam, even if Kurt had agreed not to say anything before he left. Something about being pregnant made Sebastian have more of a conscience or something – he tried not to think too much about it – but whatever it was, it was irritating him.

Dr. Hayes went on vacation to Paris (ironic, in Sebastian's opinion, since his mother _insisted_ she knew nothing about it) but because of his trip, he had to go to the hospital to see a specialist in the pediatric ward to get an ultrasound that month. Apparently in his fifth month, it was important that only someone extremely skilled give him a checkup. Whatever the reason, it was annoying, and he sat in a waiting room in the hospital, ready for his ultrasound.

He'd been irritable all day, but it was only made worse at the fact that his appointment was delayed because the doctor was dealing with an emergency. Apparently one of his child patients fell off of a playset and broke her arm, so he was helping her first. When Sebastian was told to move to a different waiting room where the doctor was closer to, he did, but as soon as he stepped into the room, he instantly wished he hadn't.

It was like the whole world stopped and his stomach tied into a thousand knots and Sebastian couldn't even think. He apparently got dizzy and almost passed out, because when he fully registered his surroundings, Sebastian was in a wheelchair near the nurse's station, drinking slowly from a cup of water. Even more insane was the fact that Sam Evans was right there in front of him, staring in awe with tears in his eyes and more disappointment in his face than Sebastian was ready to handle. "Go away," he said softly.

His statement was evidently misinterpreted, because the nurses left but Sam stayed right where he was. Sam seemed to know everything without even asking, and that scared Sebastian even more. "I remember you now," Sam told Sebastian quietly so just the two of them could hear him. A small smile played on his larger-than-average lips, and he said, "You're Sebastian, the new lead Warbler. You rocked it at Regionals, dude. I loved it."

"I quit."

Sam nodded slowly and said, "I figured that out."

Sebastian avoided Sam's eyes and glared down at his cup of water. When his name was called, Sam disappeared, but only to push Sebastian's wheelchair down the hall for him. Sebastian was exhausted, past the point of arguing or caring at all what Sam did. He couldn't speak, and he certainly didn't feel like saying anything to Sam. He was so tired he didn't even tell Sam to leave when the doctor started up the ultrasound and started talking about how healthy the baby looked. "She's developing perfectly," the doctor told Sebastian. "I'd say you're still on track for your December 18th due date."

Sebastian just nodded and took the image, and then stood to leave. "We'd like you wheeled out to your car, Sebastian. Just a precaution," the doctor told him.

It took all of Sebastian's energy to glare up at the doctor, but it didn't change matters in the least. Sam pushed the wheelchair out of the building and towards the parking lot. "I'm fine," Sebastian said when they were outside. He stood up and turned to face Sam, and then shot, "I don't need you to pretend you care right now, Blondie. I've been dealing with this on my own for five months and I don't need to make room for you in our lives now."

Sam looked disappointed, but didn't call out after Sebastian as he walked away towards the car. Once he climbed inside the car, Sebastian rested his arms on the steering wheel and leaned over, fighting all the emotions threating to bubble out of him: rage, frustration, sadness, and even a hint of happiness mixed in there at Sam finally finding out. Sam stood near the doors and watched Sebastian where he sat in his car, and finally as he drove away, before he went back inside to find his family so they could bring Stacy and her new bright pink arm cast home.

If Blaine thought Sebastian was a shut-in when he first found out, it was nothing compared to after the encounter with Sam at the hospital. Blaine didn't know that's what had happened, and to add to his worry, Sebastian wasn't answering his calls or texts, _and_ he wasn't at the house. Blaine wasn't aware of the apartment Sebastian's mother had bought him, but that was where Sebastian spent all his time hiding out, and he did nothing but play piano, sleep, eat, and occasionally study the entire time he was there.

Blaine was starting to grow concerned, not having any way to contact Sebastian or make sure he was okay, and Kurt was getting edgy even from where he was out in New York because he could tell just by Facebook that Sam wasn't doing as well as he used to be. After buzzing for the twenty-second time, Sebastian looked down at his phone to see a text message not from Blaine, but from Kurt.

**Kurt:** Sam is upset. Fix it.

Sebastian tossed his phone across the room and didn't even wince as it smashed, and he curled up under his blankets on the couch in his living room. It wasn't any of Sam's business, and he'd found out on accident, so Sebastian didn't owe him anything. Sebastian stayed cooped up for almost a full month, only leaving for his appointments, until one day in late September he felt a deep pain in his abdomen. "Fuck," he winced, leaning over where he was sitting on the sofa.

Sebastian took a deep breath and tried to get himself to calm down, thinking that it was just how much he'd been stressing that was making him feel the pain. It didn't go away for almost a full hour, and that's when he really started to panic. Sebastian's hands shook as he pulled out his cell phone and started frantically dialing Blaine's number. "Oh my god, Sebastian, thanks for finally letting me know you're _alive_," Blaine said with a slight laugh when he answered.

"Apartment. Get here," he winced.

Blaine froze for a moment, and when he realized something wasn't right, he asked, "What apartment? Where are you?"

"Downtown. Loft apartments. Need a ride…" Sebastian begged.

Blaine nodded until he realized that Sebastian might not be able to realize he'd agreed. "Be right there. It's going to be okay, Sebastian. You'll be fine," Blaine insisted.

"M-Maddie," Sebastian said through gritted teeth.

"Yeah, Maddie, too," Blaine told him, though he had no idea if that were true or not.

Blaine rushed out to his car and Sebastian lay curled up on the couch, and he didn't move or stop groaning in pain until Blaine buzzed to be let in. Sebastian slowly wandered across the room, bent over, and let him in. Blaine didn't take hardly any time at all finding Sebastian's apartment, and when he got inside, he pulled Sebastian into a big hug before he ushered him out the door. Blaine hadn't seen Sebastian in over a month and it had been hard for him, but was even more difficult was seeing him in so much pain when he knew it wasn't right. It seemed to take forever just to get down the stairs and out to Blaine's car, but once they were in, it was a short drive to the hospital. The whole time, Sebastian was wincing and breathing heavily but he wasn't saying a word. They drove up to the Emergency Room and a nurse brought Sebastian down the hall, but Blaine wasn't allowed to follow him.

Instead, Blaine paced the lobby, waiting impatiently to find out what was going on with Sebastian and if he and Maddie would be okay. Blaine kept checking his phone and his watch, watching the time until almost two full hours had passed. When he was about to go up to ask a receptionist if Sebastian would be okay, a doctor came out in scrubs to get Blaine. "You're here with Mr. Smythe, yes?" Blaine nodded at the doctor's question and stepped forward eagerly. "You can come see him now."

The doctor led Blaine through several hallways and up to the maternity wing where Sebastian lay in a bed, his belly still very large in front of him, but several tubes and machines hooked up to him. "He'll be waking up any minute now. It appeared to be a bit of an early labor because his body isn't sure how to handle the pregnancy. We've got him on several medications to keep the baby inside and developing, but your daughter is still healthy. She and your boyfriend will be fine," the doctor said, and walked away before Blaine could correct him.

Blaine was glad he hadn't, because one of the first things Sebastian said when he woke was that he had to tell the doctors that Blaine was the father just so he'd be allowed in after visiting hours. Blaine sat next to the bed in a chair, looking up at Sebastian in concern and slight amusement, before he asked, "So… you have an apartment?"

It didn't surprise Sebastian in the least that Blaine had decided to start with that, so he nodded and said in annoyance, "Yes, I do. Mum bought it for me so I could get out of the house and have my own place. She bought it for me. Maddie has her own room and we've got everything we need."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't feel like it," Sebastian replied instantly. "I don't have to feel like telling you every little thing about my life, Blaine. You know I'm a private person."

Blaine sighed and leaned back, nodding. He knew full well that Sebastian liked having secrets, but some secrets were hurting others and it was time for it to stop. "Sam's worried about you and Maddie," Blaine told him simply. "Kurt's upset, too. Sam wants to be involved, you know."

"Sam has school."

"He graduated," Blaine informed him. "He's graduated from McKinley and living back with his parents in Kentucky, but he's trying like hell to get a job out here, and he'll have one soon, I'm sure of it. Burt's seconds away from giving him a job at the garage, which is better than nothing, and he wants to see you and Maddie."

"He doesn't even know her name," Sebastian countered.

"Because you won't let him."

Sebastian just glared at Blaine, but it wasn't going to work. Arguing with Blaine never worked anymore, and it was starting to get on Sebastian's last nerve. Instead of having a good banter back and forth, it was just always Blaine putting Sebastian in his place and it was really starting to annoy him. "I don't have his number," Sebastian said lamely, trying to find some sort of excuse.

Blaine reached over to the side table where Sebastian's phone lay, and he pulled out his own to transfer the number. "Now you do," he told him simply. Blaine's eyes locked with Sebastian's, and his voice was tender as he said, "Stop trying to make excuses, Sebastian. So what if you don't want to date Sam? It's fine. But don't deprive him of seeing his daughter. You love her, but don't you think it would be an even better life for her with _two_ parents that love her? Think of how special she'd feel. Think of what it feels like without something like that."

Blaine's words hit Sebastian hard, and he couldn't think of any other reason why he shouldn't talk to Sam because Blaine's one reason was enough. Sebastian absolutely despised only having one parent to turn to, and he wasn't about to put Maddie through that if he could help it. "The first time he cuts and runs, he's out of her life forever," Sebastian said firmly.

"Tell him that," Blaine insisted, knowing full well Sam would never do that to Maddie in the first place.

Sebastian stared down at his phone, but then tossed it to the side and said, "Later. I don't feel like having visitors in this place. I want out."

Blaine nodded and understood, and felt very accomplished for getting his point across with Sebastian. Sam had missed out on six months of the pregnancy, and he shouldn't miss out on any more – or her birth. It would be one of the most important moments of their lives and Sam deserved to be there, as a friend or more than a friend – whatever Sebastian wanted him as.

Sebastian wouldn't be released for almost three weeks until the problems stopped recurring, but once he was out, he sat in his apartment (he'd been confined to minimal activity for the rest of the pregnancy) with his phone in his lap for almost two hours before he picked it up and made the phone call to Sam. "Hello?" Sam asked in confusion. It was obvious he didn't recognize the number.

"H-hey. It's Sebastian."

"Oh," Sam let out a sigh and sounded as though he was smiling. "Hey, Sebastian. I'm glad you called. I've been worried about you."

"It's a girl."

Sebastian blurted it out without really thinking, because he wasn't sure how else to go about it. The line was silent for a minute before Sam said softly, "Congratulations."

"She's yours, you know. No need to congratulate me," Sebastian pointed out.

Sebastian listened as Sam didn't say anything at first, but then Sam spoke up softly, "I wasn't sure if you… well, if I… you know, with the baby…"

"You can see her if you want to."

Sam was silent again, and Sebastian was trying desperately to figure out what was going through Sam's mind in that moment. He assumed he was thinking something about the baby, but instead Sam asked, "And what about you?"

Now it was Sebastian's turn to freeze. He hadn't been expecting that at all. Sam wanted to see _him_. What did that mean? Did he just want to talk to Sebastian in person again? Because that was inevitable, though Sam was a blonde so maybe that fact didn't cross his mind. But… if he meant something more, like, "seeing" him, like… a date – well, Sebastian wasn't ready for that. He didn't date. Sebastian Smythe was not a dating kind of guy and no baby daddy was going to change that.

Flashbacks of their night together and a life that could be, just maybe, flew through Sebastian's mind, and he found himself replying without even thinking about it.

"Sure."


	5. Chapter 5

Sebastian quickly found that life seemed a lot easier when he just stopped caring about anything. All he had to do was sit back and let everything happen around him and then things were a little easier. Like when Sam called to ask Sebastian if he was busy that Friday. It was just easier for Sebastian to say no, so he did, and then agreed to go out with Sam. Sam suggested going to this place called Color Me Mine, which sounded lame, but Sebastian was too tired to argue, so he just said yes. Sam asked if he'd want to get dinner, too, and Sebastian couldn't find it in him to make up an excuse, so he'd agreed to that as well.

His new lackluster attitude went unnoticed by almost everyone, because the only person that had really bothered to talk to him lately was Sam, and Sam didn't know Sebastian well enough to realize when something had changed. Blaine and busy moping about Kurt being gone, and he texted from time to time, but it was hard to tell a mood shift in text messages. So, Sebastian was back at the beginning, basically alone with the exception of Maddie, and he only had two months to go.

Sebastian ached from head to toe most of the time, but taking too many pain medications might hurt Maddie so he just dealt with the pain instead. A small part of him was grateful that Sam didn't choose anything too high in physical activity, because Sebastian was constantly exhausted, and the date was early enough in the evening that Sebastian could still go to bed at a decent time _and_ he knew that Sam didn't expect to hook up. It was a double comfort, and he wore an oversized sweatshirt with some altered jeans and his favorite pair of tennis shoes. Sebastian dressed more out of comfort than style, now, and he didn't care what people thought of him. He knew he could look good when he wanted to, but he didn't really feel like it when he was seven months pregnant and in his own words, a fat cow.

Sam showed up at the apartment late – nine minutes left, to be exact. He said he'd be there at 5:45 so they could be to Color Me Mine by 6:00, but instead Sam showed up at 5:54. When Sebastian pointed it out, Sam just blushed and said, "I… sorry about that. I'm dyslexic and sometimes I read things wrong."

Sebastian didn't say a word, and instead just nodded and sat in the passenger seat of Sam's beat up blue pickup he'd gotten from Finn for graduation. It didn't look safe, at least not for transporting Maddie in, so Sebastian made a mental note to be the one to take her to and from Sam's place if he wanted to see her. When they got to Color Me Mine (too late to join the class, of course) the two went into the studio room where they could paint nearly anything they wanted to. "So… coasters? Mugs? Plates? What do you feel like painting?" Sam asked with a childlike grin on his face.

Sebastian tried to hide how uncomfortable he felt in a place like this, because he was artistic when it came to words, but definitely not when it came to paint and a paintbrush. "I like coffee," he said flatly, and for Sam, it was enough.

Sam tried to stay optimistic as he grabbed them each a mug and handed one to Sebastian along with a paintbrush. They sat down at a table with palettes of paint all over the place, and Sam started painting almost right away. He wanted to say something to Sebastian, to try to break the tension and get him to laugh or something, but Sam didn't know the first place to start. Instead, he asked lamely, "So… you were new to the Warblers last year. What were you doing before that?"

"School," Sebastian replied flatly.

Sam sighed and said, "Well… yeah, I know. I mean where? And like, why did you move here? I mean… pretty much everywhere is better than Ohio, isn't it?"

Sebastian glanced up at Sam, a bit irritated at how he was pressing for information, but at the same time he felt special because of it. Not even _Blaine_ had asked this much of him at first. Sebastian had to be the one to brag and puff out his chest just to capture Blaine's interest, but it appeared as though he captured Sam's interest by merely _existing_. It would have been a refreshing change if Sebastian hadn't been so terrified of opening up to someone – especially Sam.

See, ever since that night, Sebastian hadn't been able to stop thinking about it. The way he'd made himself vulnerable to Sam, the way he'd blindly trusted him (without alcohol, even!), and the way Sam kissed him and made Sebastian feel like he meant something to him. It felt more like there was no money involved, so whenever Sebastian reminded himself that he'd paid four grand for that night, he realized the money was the only reason why it happened the way it did.

Sam felt the opposite, though he wasn't exactly sure how to bring it up. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about that night, but because it wasn't something one should do for money – it felt like something more. Making love, almost, though he could tell those words would freak Sebastian out just by looking at him. Sam would save mentioning that all for the right moment, which he hoped might arise before the baby arrived.

"I went to school in Paris, where my mum lives," Sebastian explained after a long pause. He still hadn't started painting, but he was eyeing up the different colors of paint, which Sam knew was a good first step. "After a while she decided I needed to come back here to be with kids like me, whatever the hell that means, so I got put in Dalton because father has a home in Westerville."

Sam listened intently, and when Sebastian finished speaking, he asked, "Does your father have lots of homes?"

"About a dozen across the US and a few in other countries. I've only ever seen the one in Westerville, though. Father likes his privacy," Sebastian explained.

"So the one in Paris…?"

"It's my mum's."

Sam nodded and turned his eyes back to his mug, where he'd already begun painting a landscape from the movie _Avatar_, though he knew Sebastian wouldn't be able to identify it. Sebastian was painting an abstract pattern – swirls and harsh angles and mixtures of the two. He used bold colors – deep golds and navy blues, along with other shades, and his design slowly began to morph across the entire mug. He felt ridiculous, spending so long painting a stupid _mug_, but at the same time, Sebastian found it really relaxing.

"Why were you working all the way out in Kentucky if you live here?" Sebastian asked. He wasn't interested, per se, but it had been something he'd been wondering ever since Blaine and Kurt approached him about the plan all those months ago.

"My family lives out there," Sam explained. "I was living with Kurt and Finn because the glee club needed me, but… my family moved there because it's where dad could find a job. We… haven't had the best luck lately."

"I kind of got that," Sebastian replied, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "I mean, I don't know many 18 year olds that strip before they even graduate."

Sam's cheeks turned bright red and he bit his lip, because he really was ashamed of what he'd been doing, and why he'd been doing it. Sebastian didn't apologize, but he noticed Sam's reaction and stopped talking about it. He turned his attention back to his mug and didn't say another word until Sam sat back, admiring his finished mug with pride. Sebastian glanced up to look at it, and then he asked, "Is that fucking _Pandora_?"

Sebastian hadn't seen too much of an issue in asking if the place was the one he recognized from the movie, but the look on Sam's face told him that it was a big deal. A _very_ big deal, apparently, because Sam's entire face broke out into this grin that glowed even though the room was kind of dark and Sebastian instantly regretted asking. "You know Avatar!" Sam asked in excitement.

"I mean, I watched it last week, yeah," Sebastian said nonchalantly, trying to hide the fact that he watched he movie almost every week now that he was pregnant and had way too much time on his hands. "I'm guessing you do too if you drew the landscape from memory."

"It's my favorite movie," Sam said with a grin. "I even know the language."

Sebastian's eyes went wide and he tried his hardest not to laugh, and he shook his head as he said, "You're not allowed to teach it to Maddie until she has perfect comprehension of English first."

His condition was far better than what else was on the tip of his tongue, which was a myriad of jibes as to why someone would possibly want to learn a fictitious language that would never come in handy. Sam's expression was hard to read after that, and he asked softly, "Maddie?"

Sebastian realized then that he'd never actually told Sam their daughter's name yet. The thought that Sam hated it, or that he was disappointed he hadn't gotten a say in choosing it, both crossed Sebastian's mind, but he pushed them away. Instead, he just nodded and said, "Yeah. Maddie. Short for Madeline? It's her name." His hand reached down to cover his bump for a minute, and then he looked up at Sam and asked, "Is there a problem?"

"N-no," Sam shook his head instantly. His cheeks were flushed and he looked sad, but he said, "I think it's a beautiful name."

"Her middle name is Samantha," Sebastian added, hoping it would make a difference.

Sam did seem to perk up a bit at that, but he didn't show too much of a difference in his expression. Sebastian knew that he _should_ feel some sort of guilt for choosing the name without Sam, but he was prepared to do this on his own, and the likelihood that he _would_ (in his mind at least) was very high, so Sebastian saw no point in letting Sam have a say. Sam just nodded and let his mug go off to be speed-dried, and he watched as Sebastian finished his own. "I like that design," he said lamely. "It's cool, the way you do the angles and the curves all in one. It's unique. The color scheme is, too."

Sebastian looked up sharply at Sam as he paid him the compliment, because Sebastian thought his entire mug looked like absolute shit. His cheeks flushed a bit and he lost control of his cool, indifferent demeanor for a moment because he'd just been complimented. It didn't often happen, being complimented for things he could do, because usually people just told him he was hot and tried to get with him. "Th-thanks," Sebastian said, and then turned back to his mug with a scowl.

He furiously painted the rest of it and let it go off to be speed-dried, and slowly he hobbled over to wash his hands. Bending over to wash them was a pain as well, so Sebastian couldn't find it in himself to argue with Sam when the blonde reached over to help Sebastian wash the flecks of paint from his hands. The touch wasn't as electric as that night together at Stallionz, but it still set Sebastian on edge. When they were done, Sam reached over with paper towels to dry off Sebastian's hands as well as his own, and their eyes met for a moment.

Sam felt his heart do a leap, and Sebastian's whole stomach contorted into knots. Sam was a very attractive man, even in his weird Beiber outfit, and Sam thought Sebastian was just as attractive as he had been that night they spent together. Sure, he'd gained a bunch of weight thanks to the baby, but that didn't make him appear any less attractive in Sam's eyes. Sebastian was the first to break eye contact, and he turned to walk towards the front door, leaving Sam to compose himself alone.

Sam followed after Sebastian, his cheeks still flushed, and Sebastian tried to ignore how curled up the money was as Sam handed it over the counter to pay for their mugs, which were in boxes, in a bag, right there on the counter. Sam thanked them and took the bag, and then the two of them left Color Me Mine. "Well… it's like eight o'clock now," Sam told Sebastian as they walked out the door. "There's a really awesome pizza place around the corner if you want to eat quick before I bring you home?"

Sebastian really was hungry, so he couldn't find it in him to argue it. "Sure," he nodded, and he let Sam lead the way.

The pizza place was in the opposite direction of Sam's truck, but it didn't really matter because Sebastian had been sitting for so long that a walk was exactly what he needed. They walked inside and went up to the counter, and Sam ordered a pepperoni pizza for the two of them. "Is that okay?" he asked as he grabbed a soda from the cooler and backed up so Sebastian could choose one, too.

"Sure," Sebastian nodded, reaching out for a lemonade. "Pepperoni is fine."

They walked over to a table and Sam pulled out a chair for Sebastian. That caused Sebastian to eye the seat warily, but he took it anyway and nodded in thanks to Sam before the blonde sat down across from him. "So, have you been feeling okay? Like… she's not making you sick or anything?" Sam asked nervously.

"I had morning sickness for like, five months or something," Sebastian shrugged. "After a while I just got used to it. I mean, she'll be worth it, you know? She's mine."

Sam wanted desperately to add, "and mine," but he bit his tongue. Sebastian was obviously very territorial about the whole parenting thing, and Sam knew he just had to try to find a way to weave himself in, not push himself in. It would work easier that way. "I think it's really brave of you to do this, you know," Sam said softly. "I'm sorry I didn't try to come find you, and I'm sorry you had to go through all of this on your own…"

"It's fine."

Their eyes met, and Sebastian's heart literally hurt at how sad Sam seemed. He'd really wanted to be there from the start, it seemed, but Sebastian knew it was only for the baby, not for him. Sam would never want _Sebastian_, just because he was who he was and the reputation most likely preceded him. "I don't want to miss out on anything with her," Sam explained, his voice low and his words traveling slowly as he tried to choose just the right ones. "I want to go to the doctor with you, and I want to be there when she's born, and… I'd really like to be able to see her grow up."

"You can," Sebastian shrugged. "I mean, doctor stuff is boring, but… we'll work out a custody thing when she's born."

"I want to watch her grow up with you," Sam said flatly.

Sebastian looked up sharply, surprised by the admission, and he asked, "Wait… what?"

Sam took a drink of his soda, and then he looked at Sebastian and explained, "I'd really like it if we could try raising her together. And… I want to take you out again. On more dates, I mean. I'm having fun with you, and I… I want to get to know you better. I really like you, Sebastian."

Sebastian's head started spinning and he felt dizzy for it all. He'd been expecting the night they spent together to come up, or maybe custody of Maddie, but… not this. Sebastian wasn't used to this sort of thing. Dating wasn't something that Sebastian Smythe did, and especially not with perfect blonde athletic men that could have their pick of anyone on the fucking planet. "We've been on one date and slept together once," Sebastian pointed out. He quieted as the server brought them their pizza, and then he began again, "I don't think that's grounds for raising a baby together. I know I don't know the first thing about babies, or families, or fucking being around people at all, but… it doesn't sound like a very good idea."

It didn't surprise Sam when Sebastian didn't seem to agree right away, but it still hurt. "I don't just want her on the weekends, though. I can't stand only seeing her that much. I want to be there for all her firsts, and we can't _schedule_ those," Sam pointed out. "What are you so afraid of?"

Sebastian froze when Sam asked what he was afraid of, and more things than he could possibly explain came to mind, so instead he just put a piece of pizza on his plate and started cutting it up. Not another word fell from Sebastian's lips, and he shut Sam out for the rest of the dinner. Sebastian finished off one slice of pizza in the time it took Sam to eat three, and they split the leftovers unevenly because Sam knew Sebastian would be hungry later. They left sooner than Sam wanted them to, and he wanted to try one last time to show Sebastian that he didn't have to be so alone.

Sam hated being alone, too, and living at Kurt and Finn's parents' house without Kurt and Finn there was the first step to being alone. He was used to going down the hall for a Call of Duty partner or someone to sing with, but they were gone. Now he just worked, ate, and slept, and Sam was getting tired of it. Burt and Carole were fine with Sam bringing Maddie there when he had her, but Sam didn't want to settle for that – not when he _knew_ there was chemistry there, somewhere deep down, between the two of them.

They left the pizza place, the leftovers in one of Sebastian's hands and the mugs in one of Sam's, and the darkness and moonlight shone down on them as they walked through the empty street together. "I'm sorry," Sam said softly.

Sebastian didn't acknowledge him, just as he hadn't since the comment, but then something happened. Sebastian felt fingers against his own, and at first he thought it was an accident. But then Sam's hand seemed to be pressing gently against his, trying to spread his fingers so theirs could weave together. Sebastian let it happen, the whole time his heart and head were moving far too fast as he tried to figure out what the hell Sam was playing at.

But that was all there was to it. They were holding hands. _Just_ holding hands. Sebastian glanced down between them, almost as though he couldn't believe it, and then looked back up ahead of them as they walked. Sam smiled at Sebastian's reaction, and his smile grew when he felt Sebastian's hand actually holding his own.

They reached Sam's truck too soon for his tastes, and Sebastian let Sam help him into the truck, since moving was becoming kind of difficult for Sebastian. Then Sam walked around to climb into the driver's seat, and he brought Sebastian home. They parked out front of the building, and Sam turned to look at Sebastian. "So… can I come to the next appointment?" he asked softly.

Sebastian nodded slowly and said, "Sure. I mean… if you want."

"I want to," Sam insisted. He smiled up at Sebastian, and then he told him, "Just… please think about it. You and me. I get that it might take time, but… I want to at least try, you know? For Maddie."

Sam's words really hit Sebastian hard, and all he could do was nod. It would get Sam off his back and Sebastian would have space, and he could tell him no later when he had more resolve and more energy. Sam started to lean in, but before he could do what he wanted, Sebastian climbed out of the truck and went inside.

Ever since the date, Sebastian had felt even weaker and more upset than he had before. He blamed the hormones, because he couldn't figure out what he was thinking for once. Sam must have one hell of a perfect home life if he would think even for a minute that living together would be the best solution. It was absolutely insane and Sebastian wasn't so sure he'd _ever_ live with someone, never mind someone he'd fucked once and gone on one random date with.

Maddie was kicking more often now, and Sebastian was constantly aching thanks to that and her size. By November, he wasn't sure how he could possibly grow any larger, and he was ready for her just to be there because carrying her around the way he was just hurt. Sebastian spent most of his time on the sofa or in his room, though occasionally he'd reply to Blaine and Sam's text messages.

When Sebastian's next appointment rolled around, Sam went with, and he stared at the screen with so much awe and adoration that Sebastian started to feel guilty for rejecting Sam the way he had. He wasn't ready to live with anyone, but maybe holding his hand like he was doing in that moment they saw their daughter together was something he could handle.

Sam drove Sebastian to the appointment, so when it was over, Sam was driving him back. They decided to stop for burritos on the way back, and everything was going well. They'd ordered, Sebastian let Sam pay (with more curled up bills – Sam wasn't fooling him at all), and now they were eating together in the restaurant a little more comfortably than before.

Comfortable, at least until Sebastian nearly face-planted his dinner as he doubled over in pain. It was shocking for Sam to see Sebastian so weakened and so utterly miserable, to the point that he froze and panicked and wasn't sure what to do at first. "Doctor," Sebastian breathed, looking up at Sam. "Doctor, now."

Sam nodded and reached out to take hold of Sebastian's hand, his other hand on his lower back to guide him out of the chair and towards the exit. People were staring, but Sam and Sebastian hadn't noticed at all. Sam led Sebastian out to the truck and helped him in, and then dashed around to climb in and start driving. Once they were on the road, Sam reached over instinctively and let Sebastian squeeze his hand through the pain.

Sebastian felt relieved, having someone there with him, but mostly he couldn't think through the pain. It was like Maddie was trying to kill him or something, she was kicking so hard and his whole body was aching. "It'll be okay," Sam repeated, but Sebastian hardly heard him at all. Sebastian's eyes were squished shut and his head tossed back against the seat, the pain nearly blinding him. "You're both going to be fine," Sam told him, his voice trembling as he hoped he was right.

Sam parked outside the emergency room and rushed Sebastian in, and the doctor was called as Sebastian was rushed into a room. "Are you the father?" the nurse asked.

Sam nodded, and she let him back, and then he never let Sebastian's hand leave his own. Sebastian was changed into a hospital gown, tucked into a bed, and they gave him an IV. Sam sat in a chair next to him, and Sebastian looked absolutely exhausted. His eyes were shut and the machines were beeping next to him, and Sam felt colossally nervous. It was too early for the baby, because it wasn't December yet, and they'd admitted Sebastian to the maternity ward which had Sam wondering if maybe the baby was coming. Sam had to leave while Dr. Hayes came in to give Sebastian an exam, and when he was allowed back in, Sebastian looked pale. "What? What is it?" Sam asked.

Sebastian shook his head and glared out the window to his left, too upset to really say anything. "His body is rejecting the uterus. We have to perform emergency surgery. The rejection is too serious at this point – if we keep the baby in, she could be affected. We'll keep her in the NICU for a few weeks so she can properly develop the rest of the way, and Sebastian will have the hysterectomy. It's best for all parties involved at this stage," Dr. Hayes explained as the nurses moved Sebastian onto a stretcher and he walked down the hall to go prepare surgery.

Another nurse handed Sam blue scrubs and he scrambled to put them on so he could reach out to hold Sebastian's hand. "Sebastian, talk to me. She's coming… we should be happy. Thankful, even. She's going to be okay!" Sam tried to be optimistic as they walked down the hall.

Sebastian just shook his head and fixed a strong glare on Sam. "It's too early. I fucked her up and it's my fault," he shrugged.

Sebastian tried to pry his hand away from Sam's, but Sam wouldn't allow it. He followed Sebastian into the operating room and took a seat near his head, on the side of the curtain where he wouldn't see anything. Sebastian was drugged so he wouldn't feel pain, and then the procedure began. Sam fixed all his attention on Sebastian and he smiled as he said, "But she's healthy. She's going to be fine. This… this is a miracle, Sebastian. She's _our_ miracle."

Sam's words were very little comfort to Sebastian, though, and he tried to tug his hand away. "Sorry. Sorry. I'll stop. Just… please, don't hate yourself for this. Hate me all you want for doing this to you, but… don't hate yourself," Sam's heart hurt just saying it, but he'd grown to care too much for Sebastian and Maddie to let something like this mess them up.

Sebastian's eyes narrowed at Sam and he nodded, and Sam was almost sick at what it all meant. He tried to fight the tears as Sebastian refused to look at him, and the way his hand relaxed and stopped holding Sam's. It was more than Sam wanted to ever have to deal with, but he knew he shouldn't be surprised. He was pulled from his thoughts when he heard crying ringing through the room, and when Sam looked over his shoulder, he spotted Maddie, squirming and crying. Sam backed up to let Sebastian see her, and Sebastian's hand fell from Sam's as he took a good look.

The nurse carried Maddie right over to Sebastian and rested her on his chest in blankets. He stared down at her in awe. She was so tiny and just his arms wrapping around her seemed to quiet her wails and calm her. Sebastian couldn't handle it. He felt a tear sliding down his cheek, and Sam stepped away. "I shouldn't be here," he told a nurse sadly.

Sam turned and left the room, leaving Sebastian to stare down at Maddie in awe and adoration. Sam tossed the scrubs in a garbage can and ran out to his truck, tears falling down his own cheeks. He'd just messed everything up and he realized it – all for Sebastian and Maddie. He left them for their own good. Sam had noticed over the past few weeks that Sebastian was only letting him in to be nice – he had no intention of ever fully sharing Maddie and Sam realized that now.

Through his tears, Sam drove away from the hospital – past Sebastian's apartment, past Burt and Carole's house, and all the way to Kentucky where his parents lived, because he needed his own family now more than ever.

Back at the hospital, Sebastian greedily held Maddie until they forced her away from him. She had a checkup, Sebastian was stitched up and brought to his room, and when the two were reunited, Sebastian never stopped staring at her like she was the only thing in the room there with him. Maddie looked just like him – dark tufts of hair, little petite facial features, and she was already so big and strong. "For being a few weeks premature, she's very well developed. A week here, tops, and she'll be ready to go home," Dr. Hayes told him. "Congratulations."

Sebastian rarely slept, he was so focused on Maddie. He wanted to be the one to feed her and the one to stop her crying, and the one to do everything else for her. Nobody but himself and Sam knew about her yet, and Sebastian liked it that way. He could have Maddie all to himself, hold her all he wanted, before he ever had to worry about sharing. He also focused more on Maddie because Sam had done exactly what Sebastian hoped he wouldn't: He left.

It shouldn't have surprised him when Sam saw what they'd done together and decided to leave. A child was a lot to deal with and Sebastian had come to terms with it a while back. Sam had time, but apparently not enough. He couldn't handle seeing her, being with Sebastian, or any of that. On top of it all, for some insane reason, he'd asked Sebastian to hate him, and that seemed to be the last straw. Sebastian was good at hating, and he'd do it without question.

Sam had left, and for Sebastian, that was the last straw. Sam didn't get another chance, because Maddie was in the world now and he wouldn't risk anything bad happening in her life just for someone to "try again." Sebastian never trusted anyone with his own emotions, and now that Maddie's were on the line as well, he was twice as skeptical.

Sam had lost his chance, and now it was just Sebastian and Madeline Smythe against the world.


	6. Chapter 6

As it turned out, parenting wasn't nearly as easy as Sebastian expected it to be. On the contrary, he was still always tired, even though he'd had Maddie, and he was just as irritable, too. She slept, but not nearly enough: not through the night and not even long enough for Sebastian to get a satisfying nap in the daytime. To say that his sleep schedule had been completely fucked up would be an understatement, and he was doing it all on his own. His tutor was giving him a few weeks off so he could get into the swing of things with Maddie, but Sebastian would skeptical that would ever happen. He had to bite his tongue to keep from yelling at her, and more than once, he'd cried himself to sleep in stress and exhaustion.

Sebastian was torn between completely resenting Sam and being envious of him. The two hadn't spoken since Maddie was born, and Sebastian tried his best to remain indifferent. Blaine hadn't called him yet either, which didn't surprise Sebastian at all. He was trying desperately to make his long distance relationship work, and on top of that, he had no idea that Maddie was born anyway.

By the time Blaine called, it was Maddie's due date and she was already three weeks old. "Hello?" Sebastian asked, wandering across the apartment quickly since he'd just put her down to sleep.

"Hey, Sebastian!" Blaine said; he was far more chipper than Sebastian was prepared for.

"What do you want?" Sebastian asked, though the hatred in his voice that was usually there happened to be absent that afternoon.

"Well…" Blaine began. "I wanted to see how you were feeling. Her due date is today."

"I know," Sebastian nodded. "She's here."

The line was silent and Blaine seemed to have to think about it for a minute before he asked, "Wh-what?"

"I had her like three weeks ago."

"And you didn't think to call me!" Blaine cried out, the hurt evident in his voice.

Sebastian sighed and rolled his eyes, and he shot, "No, I didn't, because I've been dealing with a ton of shit right now. She never sleeps and she's always crying and I'm still in pain and Sam just fucking…"

Sebastian stopped right there and sat down on the couch, dipping his head to run his hand through his hair. "Wait… Sam just fucking _what_, Sebastian?" Blaine asked softly.

"Nothing."

Blaine frowned and thought about the bad things that could happen by pressing the issue, but he really needed to know. "What happened with Sam?" he tried again.

"He left. Right there in the fucking hospital. Right after he saw her. So I'd rather not talk about him, okay? It's me and Maddie and that's it. She's sleeping right now but I guess if you feel like coming over after school I can't stop you."

That was as much of an invitation as Blaine was going to get from Sebastian, and they both knew it. So, Blaine did exactly as Sebastian said he could, and he showed up at Sebastian's apartment that afternoon. He wanted to know more about what happened with Sam, but the instant he saw Sebastian smiling down at Maddie as he changed her diaper in the living room, the questions left his mind. Blaine was glad Sebastian had chosen to keep her, because the way the two of them interacted was so natural and beautiful. "You're a great father," Blaine commented as he walked inside.

Sebastian turned to look up at Blaine, his smile fading, but he nodded and accepted the compliment, because he had to keep telling himself the exact same thing if he wanted to keep his patience with Maddie when it was too difficult for him. "She's in a good mood," Sebastian commented as he picked her up from where she was laying on the sofa. "You can hold her if you want."

Blaine's smile broke out into a wide grin, and he nodded as he said, "Okay."

Blaine would be the first person besides Sebastian that would get to hold Maddie, and it was a bit scary for Sebastian. Gently, he rested her in Blaine's arms, and watched from a close distance to be sure that she was okay. Blaine seemed to be good with her, though, because she was smiling up at him almost instantly. Blaine reached down with his other hand so she could hold his finger, and he tickled her tummy to get her to smile a little bit before he said, "You're so lucky, Sebastian. She's beautiful."

Sebastian nodded, because she really was. Sometimes he didn't feel lucky, more like he was cursed, but most of the time being with Maddie did exactly as Blaine suspected it would: it made him feel loved and a little less alone. Blaine leaned back on the sofa and relaxed as Maddie slowly dozed off in his arms, and he looked up at Sebastian, who seemed less like himself. "You look tired," Blaine commented.

That only warranted a roll of the eyes, because Sebastian knew damn well how he looked. He looked as he felt, and in that moment he felt like shit. "You can call me to babysit if you need a break," Blaine offered kindly. "I mean… we're friends, and I said I'd help, and… I'd really like to help."

Sebastian glanced up at Blaine, almost surprised by the suggestion. With how much time Blaine had been spending with Kurt all of a sudden, even just over the phone, he hadn't expected any sort of offer for anything. Sebastian just nodded and said, "Yeah, I need it."

Blaine frowned, and he turned to Sebastian and asked gently, "What happened with Sam?"

"I told you."

Sebastian snapped almost instantly and it hurt a little to hear the pain in his voice and to see the way he was hurting. Blaine didn't press it any further, but he knew there was more to the story. That evening after he'd made dinner for Sebastian and put Maddie to bed as she napped, Blaine left, and on his way home, he called Sam. "Hello?" Sam asked in confusion.

"We need to talk," Blaine told him simply. "Are you at Burt and Carole's?"

Sam sighed, but told him the truth, "Yeah."

He'd spent a full week with his parents, just talking to them and trying to figure out what to do and how to handle it all, and while it was helpful, it still hurt going back to Lima. It killed Sam knowing that just one town over, Sebastian sat with their baby, playing with her and getting to know her, while Sam was alone. He was up in his room at Burt and Carole's when Blaine showed up, and they let Blaine go right upstairs. "Hey," Blaine said from the doorway.

Sam glanced up but didn't reply, because he already knew why Blaine was there. He'd been rehearsing the right thing to say to keep himself from sounding as horrible as he was sure Sebastian made him sound, but it was hard because Sam hated _himself_ for what he'd done. Blaine wandered in and shut the door, taking a seat at the end of Sam's bed once he was inside. "I hear congratulations are in order," Blaine commented offhandedly.

Those words seemed to hit Sam hard, and he turned away in frustration and sadness, his arms wrapped tightly in front of him as if to protect himself from more reminders of Maddie's birth and his distance from her. "Hey, no, I really mean it…" Blaine said softly, scooting closer to Sam where he sat on his bed. "Is everything okay? I don't really know what happened. Sebastian won't talk about it."

"Well… she was born early, and… he blamed himself for it. He sat there hating himself, so unhappy on a day when he should be so excited and happy, you know?" Sam began quietly, avoiding eye contact with Blaine. "So… I told him that instead of hating himself because his body was rejecting the parts and they needed to get her out early… I told him he should hate me. You know, because I got him pregnant or whatever. And… he agreed so quickly. He was so happy to agree that it hurt. It hurt so bad, because… he doesn't realize how I feel and it sucks, dude."

"How do you feel?" Blaine asked curiously, his words slow and hesitant.

Sam just sighed and he shrugged, "I can't stop thinking about him. I haven't been able to stop thinking about him since he walked into Stallionz that night."

Blaine took a moment to let the words settle before he suggested, "Well… I mean, birth is a scary thing. I'm sure he was just caught up in it."

"He won't talk to me. I tried calling and texting and _nothing_."

It didn't surprise Blaine, the way Sebastian was so abruptly shutting Sam out and refusing to give him another chance. "I'll tell you what," Blaine began, scooting closer to Sam to rub his back and try to get him to relax and think about what he was about to suggest. "How about you write him a letter? Say everything on your mind and explain exactly how you feel, and then I'll deliver it to him. I'll make him read it, and… I can't promise anything, but it's a start, you know?"

Sam looked up at Blaine for the first time since he'd arrived, his eyes glassy and full of emotion as he asked, "Y-you'd really do that for me?"

Blaine nodded and smiled softly. "Of course I would," Blaine insisted. "We're friends. I look out for my friends. And… you two deserve a chance at something real just like the rest of us. Sebastian's just stubborn."

"You can say that again," Sam said with a forced laugh and a roll of the eyes.

Blaine laughed a little at that, and then he suggested, "Whenever you're ready, write the letter. Bring it to me and I'll make sure Sebastian reads it, okay?"

Sam nodded and looked over at Blaine gratefully. "You're really awesome, dude. Thanks."

Blaine smiled in return and said, "And don't beat yourself up over this, okay? I completely understand why you did what you did. Sometimes Sebastian doesn't realize the effect his actions have on other people."

"Yeah," Sam nodded slowly. "Thanks again."

"No problem," Blaine smiled, patting Sam's back one last time before he stood up. "I have to get home, but I'll see you at school tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay, "Sam smiled, and he waved as Blaine walked out the door.

Once Blaine was gone, Sam tossed himself back against his blankets and stared up at the ceiling. It felt as though a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders, but the impending letter he'd agreed to write put a damper on the relief. Sam was horrible at writing. He made grammatical errors and spelling errors and most of the time just sounded like an idiot because he let his dyslexia get the better of him. Some people might find it romantic (Mercedes totally did) but Sam had a sneaking suspicion that Sebastian wouldn't think the same thing. He'd probably find it annoying and refuse to finish reading the letter or something horrible like that.

Sam swore that the following day after school he'd write the best letter he could, and he'd use a dictionary and the internet and anything else he could find to make sure he spelled everything right and that everything made sense. He had to. Sam hated letting love go. It hurt, definitely, but something about this thing with Sebastian was more than that; it was stronger than with Quinn and more promising than with Mercedes. Sam needed this to work out, because he'd never felt so strongly for someone before in his life.

It didn't take long for Sebastian to become frustrated with day to day life. Get up early to feed Maddie, sit through the tutor's painful lectures while she napped, feed her midday _then_ feed himself, take a short nap before she woke up again for a diaper change, sleep with her in the recliner, feed her again_ then_ feed himself, put her to bed, wake up before midnight to change her, wake up around two in the morning to feed her again, and repeat each and every day. Sebastian was exhausted and needed a break, but Blaine had school and glee club and couldn't exactly ditch out to take over for twenty-four hours while Sebastian rehabilitated himself into someone that looked more like a teenager and less like a zombie.

Thankfully, Blaine would come over anyway, even just at night for a few hours, and it was a nice break from the solitude of Sebastian's apartment where he saw nobody but Maddie and his awful tutor. The night Blaine showed up with a letter, though, he wasn't quite as welcome anymore.

"Just read it, please," Blaine begged, waving it out in front of him.

"No," Sebastian said flatly, Maddie asleep in his arms. He knew exactly who the letter was from and he didn't plan on giving him a chance anytime soon. "I'm not touching that."

Blaine persisted for almost half an hour before he said, "Fine. I'll read it to you."

"Don't you dare," Sebastian said venomously.

Blaine just smirked at Sebastian because he knew Sebastian wasn't going to move, which meant Blaine had him trapped. When Maddie was asleep, Sebastian never did anything that could wake her, even if it meant walking into her room to put her in her crib. Sebastian glared daggers at Blaine as he unfolded the letter and held it in front of him. "Stop it," Sebastian shot.

"You need to hear this," Blaine said simply, clearing his throat before he began to read.

_Dear Sebastian,_

_ Okay, so I don't really know how to start these letter things, but I have a lot of things to say to you and this is the only way I can think of to tell you so you'll actually listen._

_ I'm really sorry I ditched out on you the day our daughter was born. It hurt a lot when you were so okay with agreeing to hate me. It hurt because I wanted us to be a family (and I still do) but it hurt even more because I love you. It sounds stupid, but I really do. I've never felt like this about anyone else, and I felt this way before I even knew you were pregnant. The night we had together was the best night of my life because we did something I'd never done before. We made love. That's why I didn't want to take your money._

_ You can have your money back if you want. That way you can buy what you need for Maddie and give her a good life. I know you will even without this money. I only spent like thirty bucks, but I spent it on you, so I figured it was okay. The rest is still here in my room and it wouldn't feel right spending it on anyone but you and Maddie, because it didn't even feel right taking it in the first place._

_ I understand if you don't want me to see her. I understand if you don't want to see me. I just want you to know that I will never, ever leave like that again. You and Maddie are the best things to happen to me in a long time. I wish I could see her. I've heard that she's beautiful. I'll even understand if you don't want her to know I'm her dad. She can call me Sam and you Dad if that's what you want. I'll take anything at this point. I just really want the chance to know my daughter. Please, Sebastian, consider it?_

_ I guess I'm lucky if you've read this far, and you have my number in case you want to give me another chance. I promise I won't disappoint you if you do._

_Love,  
Sam_

Sebastian stared down at Maddie, avoiding Blaine's eyes. He didn't know what to think about anything anymore, and the way he knew Blaine was looking at him just irritated Sebastian. When Sebastian didn't speak, Blaine assumed that he'd listened and that the letter served its purpose. "I'll see you later, Sebastian," Blaine said, setting the letter down next to Sebastian on the coffee table, and then he got up and left quietly.

Slowly, Sebastian's eyes traveled over to the letter, and then back down to Maddie, who was now staring up at him with big green eyes. She let out a soft cooing noise and Sebastian knew just by looking at her that she deserved this. Sebastian wouldn't concede for himself, only for Maddie. _She_ was the one that deserved a chance at this. Not Sam, not Sebastian… only her, and he'd make it clear to Sam when he managed to pluck up the courage to contact him. _If_ he managed to pluck up the courage to contact him.

After her two a.m. bottle, Sebastian was too exhausted to sit up and hold her so he put her in her crib and climbed into his own bed. He was asleep as soon as his face hit the pillow, baby monitor next to the bed. When he woke, he panicked because he didn't wake to Maddie's cries. Instead, he woke to birds chirping outside and the sun shining and light snowflakes falling. His heart beating a million miles a minute in fear at the thought that something had happened to Maddie, he rushed down to her room only to find an empty crib.

Now he was panicking even more and bolted into the living room. He slid to a halt on the hardwood floor of the kitchen as he looked into the living room to find his mother cradling a happy, laughing Maddie in her arms. When she looked up to see him, his mother just beamed and said, "She's beautiful, sweetheart."

Sebastian couldn't speak as he wandered over to his mother and sat down next to her. "No other father then, huh?" she asked softly as Maddie played with a teething ring.

"He left," Sebastian replied bitterly.

His mother's eyes sparkled as she glanced to the kitchen and her eyes lingered on the letter from Sam as she said, "He sounds like a sweet boy."

Sebastian turned to follow her line of sight, and then he glared over at his mother. "You've been reading my mail!" he asked angrily.

"Sweetheart, it's sitting out in the open. How did I know it wasn't a note for me? I didn't," she shrugged simply.

"I didn't know you were going to be here," Sebastian shot, annoyed.

"It was her due date yesterday. Of course I was going to be here," his mother said softly.

Sebastian didn't say a word, and instead just leaned his head against his mother's shoulder. He was thankful for a full night of rest, as well as for his mother even if she'd dropped by so unexpectedly. "She's old enough… we could fly to Paris for Christmas. Would you like that?" she asked softly.

Sebastian sat up to look over at his mother, then down at Maddie. She was very well behaved. As long as they gave her a pacifier to pop her ears as they went up in the air, she'd be fine and wouldn't fuss. The idea of spending time away from everything and going out to Paris was very appealing to Sebastian, and he agreed without a second thought. "Go get your laptop," his mother smiled. "We'll book our flights. It'll be our first family Christmas in a while."

He didn't need to ask to know that she meant the three of them and his grandmother, who hadn't left France in her life. She was very loyal to her country and wouldn't step foot on other soil, regardless of her family. Sebastian missed her, and he wanted Maddie to know as many family members as she could, even if there weren't many.

Sebastian grabbed his laptop and they booked their flights for the following day, and then he settled in on the couch, leaning against his mother as she held Maddie and soothed her. "How has she been?" she asked as Maddie occupied herself with another toy.

"She doesn't sleep through the night, but I guess other than that she's been fine. Strong, I guess," Sebastian replied conversationally, still in his pajamas even though it was mid-afternoon.

"We'll work on that today. See if we can't get her sleep schedule regular," his mother replied.

Sebastian had no idea how to do that, but he decided to just let his mother have a go. She was sure to know far better than he would.

The afternoon passed slowly, especially once Maddie got sleepy. Usually Sebastian would just let her sleep and take care of her again when she woke, but his mother wouldn't have it. She held Maddie and forced her to stay awake, resulting in her wailing and crying until she sounded hoarse. She calmed, but didn't stop whimpering all through dinner (they'd ordered take-out because Sebastian's head hurt too much to focus on food). Finally at around seven o'clock, Sebastian's mother changed and fed Maddie and then let her sleep in her crib.

"Keep her awake during the day and she'll sleep longer at night," his mother said simply as she walked into the living room where Sebastian was nursing a headache.

"Do you want to talk about Sam?" she asked softly as she sat down next to him on the sofa.

Sebastian didn't say a word. He just leaned against his mother again and she held him close. "It's okay to be in love, sweetheart," she whispered softly. "He's not your father. I can tell that just by that one letter. He's never going to treat you or Maddie like your father treats us." Sebastian sighed, and she whispered, "You're strong, sweetheart, but having someone to help you would _really_ make a difference."

"I can't trust him."

"No, but you'll never build any trust with him if you keep shutting him out."

Sebastian hated how much sense his mother was making. He knew he should give Sam a chance, and he'd been leaning towards it, but the thought of Maddie going through the same pain he'd gone through when Sam left really made Sebastian second-guess himself. Thankfully, his mother didn't press things. Instead, she suggested, "How about you just relax and not worry about anything for Christmas break and then just… see what happens when you come back, okay?" He happily nodded at that suggestion. "Get some rest, sweetheart," she said after a short pause. "We've got an early morning."

Sebastian stood up and wandered into his room, falling asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow, again. When he woke, his mother was standing in his room, Maddie in her arms, and she was smiling. "Your daddy has to wake up and pack," she was saying rather loudly to the baby. Sebastian rolled over and looked up at them. "There he is!" his mother said, and Maddie squealed.

It was difficult to resist the smile on his face, and Sebastian slowly climbed out of bed. "Morning, Maddie," he said groggily, kissing her forehead before walking into the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he emerged, he said, "It's early."

"You wanted to get to Paris at a decent time, right?" his mother laughed. "Maddie is all packed and ready to go. We're just waiting on you."

Sebastian packed quickly. He was used to packing only what he really needed because he had a whole closet in Paris waiting for him. Based on the small size of Maddie's bag (it was really just her diaper bag), he assumed that his mother already stocked a closet for her as well. They left the apartment before the sun was in the sky, and they got to the airport rather quickly.

It was a relief, getting out of Ohio and America and just going off to Paris where he could clear his head. Getting away always made Sebastian feel better. He wondered if he should have told Sam that they wouldn't be around, but he thought better of it. Sebastian wasn't going to worry about Sam yet. He had a whole Christmas vacation in Paris with his daughter to enjoy before ever letting his mind go back to Sam. What Sebastian didn't enjoy was how much Sam popped up in his head anyway.

As soon as they landed in Paris, however, Sebastian's mind was focused on nothing but showing Maddie everything he possibly could. She didn't really notice much, and she wouldn't for a while as his mother had informed him. Paris held his happiest memories, though, and being there put a new glow in his smile and happiness back in his life. Sebastian looked out the window and held Maddie close as they watched the sights go by as the cab driver brought them to his mother's home.

It didn't take long for them to arrive, and when they did, Sebastian was surprised to find his grandmother sitting in the lounge room having tea. She looked just as any traditional wealthy elderly woman would; gray hair (styled perfectly, of course), lots of jewelry, the nicest vintage clothes, and of course, wrinkles in all the right places. "Mes chéris!" she exclaimed with a smile as they walked in.

Instantly Sebastian and Maddie were encircled in a strong hug, and Maddie curled up against him, unfamiliar with this new, strange woman. His grandmother's accent was thick as she said, "She is so beautiful, Sebastian!"

"She is," he nodded, trying to give her a pacifier as she squirmed and fussed in his arms.

"Let her have a nap! We have much talking to do!" his grandmother suggested.

Sebastian's mother nodded, so he fed Maddie a bottle and laid her down to nap before he went into the study to have tea with them. He felt at home in Paris, and maybe Paris was where he was meant to be, he found himself thinking. Sebastian did his best to block out memories of Lima and Sam, and it was easier while they were away in Paris. He wondered if he shouldn't just move to Paris permanently. It would make the whole situation far easier on him.

Back in Lima, Blaine looked down at his phone in slight frustration. He'd received a text message from Sebastian that was rather unnerving, considering the plan that he and Kurt had been concocting.

**Sebastian**: Gone to Paris for the holidays. Not sure when I'll be back.

Blaine and Kurt had been planning to invite Sebastian and Madeline to the Hummel-Hudson Christmas celebration. Their parties for the holidays became more lavish each and every year, and Sam deserved to be there with his daughter for her very first Christmas. He'd miss out on so many firsts if Sebastian didn't pull himself together and give Sam another chance, but it was looking as though Sam really might have messed things up beyond repair. The letter hadn't worked, and now Sebastian had basically fled the country to escape his problems.

Blaine knew that Sebastian had family in Paris, and that he really loved being there, but he also knew that Sebastian and Sam shared something very real that night at Stallionz. It was obvious from the look in Sam's eye when he talked about Sebastian, and it was even more obvious from Sebastian's reaction to the letter Sam wrote him. Sebastian was just too caught up in his old ways, and too worried about getting hurt, that he was hurting people in return.

Blaine was invited along to the Hummel-Hudson Christmas celebration, and considering his family didn't celebrate often, he happily accepted. Sam seemed quite upset the whole time, and everyone knew why but didn't speak to it. That evening after opening gifts and Sam sitting on the phone with his mother, Kurt and Blaine went up to Kurt's room to talk. Just barely a second after he'd closed the bedroom door, Kurt turned to Blaine and nearly shrieked, "What is going on!"

It was all Blaine had in him not to yell in return, to point out that this had mostly been Kurt's idea, but pointing fingers wasn't going to fix any of this. "Sebastian is in Paris," Blaine explained. "He's celebrating the holidays with his family."

Kurt rolled his eyes and said, "Sam is his family now. They have Maddie, he can't just run off like he knows what's best for her!"

"Well he thinks that he does," Blaine tried to explain. "After Sam ditched when she was born, he's _really_ been protecting his heart, Kurt. I know you want Sam to be happy, and so do I, but… try to think of it from Sebastian's point of view for a minute, okay? You're _terrified_ because something that is supposedly biologically impossible has just happened to you. Your parents are never around, you're on your own at age seventeen even without the baby, and then this guy comes along. He makes you feel loved even though you've never felt loved before in your _life_. He says he wants to be there for you, and then he's just gone on one of the most important days of your life. I understand why Sam left, but… it _really_ hurt Sebastian."

Kurt sat down on the bed next to Blaine and sighed. Seeing both sides made it even _more_ complicated, if it was even possible. "Sam has done all he can to fix this," Blaine said softly. "He told Sebastian how he feels and now he's giving him time to think. This is all on Sebastian now."

"Sam missed out on his daughters first Christmas because of that meerkat," Kurt said bitterly.

Blaine just took a deep breath and glanced around the room. Then he said softly, "Well then I guess we just need to make sure this is the only first he misses."

Kurt's eyes slowly dragged upwards to meet Blaine's, and he bit his lip before he nodded. All this worrying he was doing was going to give him early wrinkles, and he didn't want that, so they'd have to figure out how to fix this as soon as possible. There were really no other options. Blaine sent several more text messages to Sebastian, but his phone kept saying that the message could not be delivered. He frowned and said, "We'll have to wait until he gets back."

Kurt wasn't happy with that, but he knew there was nothing that either of them could do. So, the rest of break they tried to cheer Sam up. Kurt drove him out to Kentucky so he could see his family for a while, and when Sam came back he seemed a bit more chipper, though not much. Every time Blaine tried to talk to Sam, the blonde would skirt away with some excuse that Carole or Burt needed his help, and Blaine basically gave up. Kurt could try, but Blaine was too frustrated to bother anymore. Sam and Sebastian were turning out to be two of the most stubborn people in the world.

When Sebastian got back from Paris, classes at McKinley had already been in session for a week. Sam basically resolved himself to being written out of Maddie's life, so he sat down at his desk one night and wrote two more letters. One he'd ask Blaine to deliver to Sebastian, and another he'd ask both of them to keep sealed. It had nothing on it but Maddie's name on the envelope, and the rest was a secret.

Blaine reluctantly showed up at Sebastian's door a few days after he'd arrived back in the States, and Sebastian answered. Maddie was squealing along with some children's program on TV in the background, and Sebastian just eyed Blaine skeptically. "I have mail for you," Blaine said as he walked inside.

He held out the envelopes from Sam. "This one is for you," Blaine extended the letter with Sebastian's name on the envelope. "And this is for Maddie. She's not supposed to read it until she's eighteen, but Sam would really appreciate it if you would give this to her when she's old enough."

Sebastian stared down at both envelopes, a bit shocked at the second one. "I really hope you know what you're doing," Blaine said softly. "He's devastated."

Blaine looked up at Sebastian and shrugged as he said, "I know that you want to do what's best by her. That's very admirable of you. Just… make sure you're ready to live with the consequences."

Without another word, Blaine turned and left the apartment, leaving Sebastian to stand on his own, both of the letters in hand. Slowly, with trembling fingers, he opened the letter addressed to him. He could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears as he started to read.

_Dear Sebastian,_

_ I can't even come up with the right words to tell you how awful I feel. It hit me today (Christmas) that I messed up bigger than I've ever messed up in my life. Today was Maddie's first Christmas, and I missed it. It feels like part of me died, knowing that I missed that moment and can never get it back. It hurts worse knowing that I've hurt you so badly you don't want anything to do with me. I've never had anyone hate me like this before._

_ I know I told you that you could hate me, so I asked for it. I get that. I just wish you knew how sorry I was, and how much this is killing me. Family has always been the most important thing in my life. I had that job at Stallionz for my family, and everything I do is for them. It sucks knowing that no matter what I do, it won't be able to help in giving Maddie an amazing life. I know you'll do that for her, I just wish I could say that I helped._

_ I understand why you're doing this. I know how badly I hurt you and that you don't want her to feel that way. I get why you don't want me to see her. I guess I was just hoping I would have a second chance to prove myself to you and to show you that I'm not going to leave._

_ Anyway, I hope you two had an amazing Christmas. I heard you went to Paris. That's really exciting! I've always wanted to go there and see all the art. I like that sort of stuff, you know? But… anyway, since I can't see Maddie, I was hoping that maybe you'd still send me photos. I'd like to see our baby girl grow up, even if it's only in pictures. She's a part of both of us and that's a beautiful thing. It's something special that you and I share and I'll never regret a single minute of it. So, anyway… my address is on the envelope. I really hope you'll send me pictures so I can still see her. Even if you don't tell her, I hope you know that I will always love her. Always. You, too._

_ With this is a second letter, and you can read it if you want, but it's for Maddie. I want her to read it on her eighteenth birthday. It doesn't say anything bad about you, I promise. It's just… my way of telling her how special she is to me and how much I love her. I'd really like it if one day she could read it and see how much she means to me._

_ So with this letter, I'm saying goodbye. I won't bother you anymore, because I know you have made your decision. I know you're going to give our baby girl everything she would ever want or need in life, and I can't ask for more than that. I love you both, and I always will. I'll never forget the time we spent together, Sebastian._

_Love,  
Sam_

By the time he finished reading, Sebastian let the letter fall to the floor. The finality of it all and everything that Sam said hit him hard, and he felt weak for it all. Sebastian's curiosity got the better of him, and he opened Maddie's letter from Sam without thinking twice.

_Dear Maddie,_

_ Hey baby girl. I know you don't know who I am, but I want you to know that I love you. I don't know if your dad told you who I am or how special you are, but… he and I made you together, and you're the greatest thing to ever happen to me._

_ Wherever you are in life, I'm proud of you. I'm sure you're a brilliant, beautiful girl and you're going to go far. No matter where life takes you, just know that I'm somewhere in the world, loving you and thinking about you. _

_ I want you to promise me one thing, though. No matter how difficult life is, and no matter how scary the path, always follow your heart. You'll always regret it if you don't. I wish I could see you, give you a hug, and tell you just how much you mean to me. But I made some mistakes in life and I'll always regret those. I'll regret leaving you most of all, because you are the most innocent, beautiful, amazing thing to ever happen to me. I can guarantee that._

_ I don't want to make this letter too long, so I'll leave you with this: I love you so much, Madeline, and I hope that one day you and I can meet. Maybe you'll hate me, maybe you won't, but I'd love the chance one day to get to see you and the beautiful young woman you've become._

_Love,  
Sam_

Sebastian regretted opening the letter when he finished it. By the time he did, his whole chest ached. Maddie let out a squeal from the living room and he looked up, and she was watching him with a curious expression. "C'mere," he muttered, walking over to her to lift her up.

Maddie buried her face in Sebastian's chest as though she _knew_ he just needed a hug and needed some sort of comfort. He had to sit down with the swell of emotions he was feeling. It was all too much for him to handle. Maddie stayed curled up against his chest as long as Sebastian needed her, and he'd never been more thankful to have her in his life than he was in that moment. Especially since now more than ever, Sebastian was lost and confused and didn't know what to do.


	7. Chapter 7

Reading those letters really did it in for Sebastian. Guilt plagued him day after day, whenever he'd watch Maddie. She was holding up her head on her own, and as the snow started to melt, she started to roll around and learn new things. Now instead of the smug satisfaction that he got to witness these events, Sebastian just felt sick to his stomach that Sam didn't get to. It was obvious how Sam felt about the situation, but Sebastian's pride kept getting in the way.

When Blaine called him one day in March, Sebastian was surprised by the out-of-nowhere call. "Hello?" he asked, bouncing a fussy Maddie on his leg. "Mads is fussing, I can't talk long."

"It's Sam's birthday this Saturday. You should see him, and you should bring Maddie with you."

Sebastian froze and didn't say a word as Maddie started fussing. Blaine thought for a moment that Sebastian was going to say no, to tell him to fuck off, or even worse – that he'd hung up on him. Instead, Sebastian just asked, "Where?"

"We're having the party at the place he's staying, Kurt and Finn's house," Blaine explained. "If you can come and bring Maddie, I know it would mean a lot to him."

"I'll see what I can do," Sebastian replied.

It was the only hint of a possibility that Blaine got out of Sebastian, though he hoped it meant Sebastian would show up. Maddie was becoming even more animated and cheerful, and it made Sebastian feel happier, and overall, he was satisfied with life. Sometimes when he needed to study and she wouldn't sleep, he wished he had someone around, but there was nothing he was willing to do in that moment. The possibility of approaching Sam was there, but he couldn't do it.

Just a week before Sam's birthday, Sebastian was sitting on the couch with his laptop, a textbook on the cushion next to him, while Maddie played on the ground. She reached up and slowly pulled herself to her feet at the edge of the coffee table. Sebastian didn't even notice, he was so engrossed in trying to understand this chemistry concept. Before he could even realize what was going on, there was a thud followed by sickening wails from Maddie.

"Shit!" Sebastian shouted, chucking his MacBook to the side to reach down to pick her up. "Shit. Mads, honey, what did you do?" he panicked, picking her up and assessing the damage.

She'd cut through her lip with the impact and was bleeding. There were already drops on the carpet and down her dress as she screamed and cried. Sebastian scooped her up into his arms and ran into the kitchen, grabbing a cloth to hold to Maddie's mouth. She screamed and cried and pushed him away, and Sebastian was freaked out. He was shaking as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and first called his mother to see what he should do. When she didn't answer, he was driven into even more panic and dialed Blaine's number, sure that he'd answer. "Dammit!" Sebastian shouted when he got Blaine's voicemail.

"Honey, shh, it's okay, you're going to be fine," he said, bouncing Maddie in his arm even as she wailed and screamed, the washcloth now pushed away from her mouth that was covered in blood.

Without even thinking about it, Sebastian dialed Sam's number and hoped that he'd answer. Relief flooded through Sebastian when Sam's clueless voice asked, "Sebastian?"

"I need you to come over right now. I'm… I'm in the lofts downtown. Maddie hurt herself. I need you to get down here right now and take us to the hospital because she's… she's… _fuck_," Sebastian muttered, terrified, the phone propped up against his shoulder as he put the cloth to Maddie's mouth again.

"I'm on my way," Sam said seriously.

Even though Sam had a lot of homework that was due the next day and not enough time to finish it all, without question Sam climbed into his car and drove downtown where Sebastian said he lived. Sebastian was at the door waiting, Maddie's wails echoing throughout the entryway. Sebastian rushed outside and beckoned Sam towards his car where he had a baby seat for Maddie. "Here," he chucked the keys to Sam and got in the back with Maddie.

Sam just drove, deciding it would be better to just talk later once they were sure that Maddie was okay. He hadn't been expecting to see that much blood and to hear Maddie's cries that loud. They got to the hospital in record time and when they walked into the emergency room just to find dozens of other people. "You are going to get my daughter a doctor right this minute," Sebastian ordered, slowly beginning to shout at the nurses behind the counter until finally, after only five minutes of Maddie's screams, they were able to get in her in the back to see a doctor.

Sam sat at Sebastian's side, terrified, as Sebastian held Maddie as she screamed and the doctor looked at her mouth. "Well… she's going to be okay," the doctor told them. "She fell and cut her lip open, but the good news is, she won't need stitches." Sebastian breathed a sigh of relief. "I would suggest not giving her a pacifier until it's healed, just to prevent any deformities occurring because the pacifier obstructs natural lip shape. We'll prescribe you some pain reliever to give her because her mouth is going to be sore for a few days. It's best to give it to her about half an hour before eating, because what you feed her might hurt. She's going to be just fine."

The doctor handed a clean cloth to Sebastian, who held it to Maddie's mouth. This time she calmed a little bit, still whimpering, but sucking the water out of the cloth which quieted her a lot. Sebastian took the prescription and walked out of the room and down the hallway to fill it, Sam still following behind, obediently. As they sat in the waiting room, Maddie now quiet in Sebastian's arms, Sam summoned the courage to speak. "He's beautiful. Even when she cries, she's the most perfect thing," Sam said reverently.

Sebastian just nodded and agreed, "She is."

"I'm so sorry," Sam said softly, emotions overwhelming him just at the sight of his daughter, almost six months old now. "I'm sorry I ever did that to you guys."

"I know," Sebastian nodded.

Sam opened his mouth to speak again, but the pharmacist cut him off when she called Sebastian's name. He walked up to pick up the prescription, and then led Sam out to the car. He didn't want to have much of his personal life discussed out in public. He knew how poorly Ohio viewed gay couples, and even if he and Sam weren't a couple, they'd still be treated as such.

The drive was quiet as Maddie sucked on the cloth and whimpered, feeling a bit better. When they got to the apartment building, Sebastian just nodded for Sam to follow him upstairs and into the apartment. "Nice place," Sam commented when they walked inside.

It might have looked nice once upon a time, but Sebastian couldn't say that about it now. The entire living room was covered in toys, a walker, a swing, and anything else Maddie could ever want or need. Sebastian's things still sat on the couch, and he spotted the drops of blood on the ivory carpet. When the door shut, Sebastian turned around and asked, "Can you hold her? I need to clean the carpet. She got blood all over."

Sam stood frozen to the spot for a second, and then nodded quickly and walked towards Sebastian. He hadn't held Maddie before, so it was a scary moment, but Sam slowly reached out and scooped her into his arms. The weight of it all made Sam feel so overwhelmed he had to walk towards the recliner and sit down.

Maddie stared up at him with big, curious eyes as Sebastian walked around cleaning the stain on the carpet. Sam's heart was beating fast, and he looked down at her with just as much curiosity and awe. "Hey baby girl," Sam said softly, choking on his words, ready to cry he was so happy. "You're so much more beautiful than I imagined."

She smiled from behind the cloth, and slowly he coaxed it away from her. When he did, she whimpered, but he rocked her and said, "It's okay, Maddie. You're fine. You're a tough girl."

It seemed to be enough to quell her cries, and she just looked up at him again, her eyes wide and curious. Sam smiled down at her, and Maddie mimicked, smiling back up at him in return. Sebastian watched from where he sat on the floor, scrubbing at the blood stain. Sam looked so happy, and Maddie wasn't afraid of him. He felt awful thinking about all the firsts Sam had already missed out on. Now that Sam was there with her, everything seemed so much easier. He'd tolerate Sam for Maddie's sake, even if he was too scared to let Sam in. "She needs pajamas… think you can change her?" Sebastian spoke up.

Sam nodded and stood up with Maddie, eager to get to spend more time with her before he'd inevitably be sent back to his own place. "Let's get you changed, baby girl," Sam cooed, walking down the hallway to find Maddie's room. When he did, he brought her inside and set her down on the changing table. She smiled and kicked up at him, and Sam smiled back. "Let's get you some jammies, okay?" Maddie let out a squeal, and Sam was instantly beaming with happiness.

He pulled out a pair of pajamas and changed her diaper while he was changing her, still confident in how to change a baby from when he'd helped with his younger siblings when they were born. When he thought about it, he wondered whether Stevie and Stacy would ever get to meet Maddie. Same with his parents. They deserved to meet her, but Sam wasn't going to push for more than what Sebastian was willing to give. Sam was lucky he got to see her at all.

When he was finished changing Maddie, he brought her back out to the living room. "There's a bottle on the counter," Sebastian said as Sam realized the lights in the apartment were all dimmed. "Can you feed her and put her to bed?" Sebastian was still scrubbing at the stain on the carpet and he looked worn out.

Sam nodded and did as Sebastian asked. About the time that Sam carried Maddie to her bed to put her to sleep, Sebastian gave up on trying to get the stain out, muttering something about hiring someone to do it later. When Sam returned, he saw Sebastian looking frazzled and possibly near tears on the sofa, looking between his laptop and his textbook. "You okay?" Sam asked hesitantly.

Sebastian looked up at Sam, seemingly surprised by the question, and he nodded, "Yeah… fine."

Sam sat down on the couch near Sebastian, the textbook occupying the cushion between them. It was quite awkward, but Sam wasn't going to point it out or try to change it. He really just wanted Sebastian to stay comfortable because then maybe the two of them would get somewhere. "Thanks," Sebastian said offhandedly as he turned back to his chemistry homework.

"No problem," Sam nodded, glancing over at Sebastian.

The awkwardness was palpable and a bit irritating for both of them. "Do you have a lot of homework?" Sam asked, glancing over again. Sebastian just nodded, and Sam took a deep breath and summoned all the courage he had before he said, "I can watch her a few days a week if it would help."

That caught Sebastian's attention. Slowly, he turned his gaze up to Sam and surveyed him for a moment, as if he were trying to figure out if Sam was actually being serious. He was, and it was obvious, and for a moment Sam thought he was going to say no. "You mean you want joint custody of her?" Sebastian asked.

"Well… that makes it sound wrong, but basically, yeah. I'd really like to see her, Sebastian," Sam said softly. His voice wavered a bit because he was so scared of Sebastian saying no. "Please. I'll go by Sam and let you be her daddy if you want. I'll do anything."

Sebastian glanced up at saw the pain and the hope and everything else that Sam was feeling, and it was too much. It was like a dagger to the heart. He thought about if he were in Sam's position, how he'd feel having only seen Maddie once, and it was only because of an act of desperation. It hurt thinking about not seeing her every day, but the thought of not seeing her at all was worse. "Fine," Sebastian said. "She can call you whatever as long as I'm daddy, too."

Sam's eyes went wide and he stared like a fish out of water. That had been so easy. He couldn't believe that's all it had taken to convince Sebastian to give him a shot, but really, Sebastian had been thinking about it since that first letter, long before Christmas. It had just taken him months to set his pride aside and really let Sam in. It was the scariest thing he'd done in a while.

"So… who has her when, then?" Sam asked.

Sebastian sighed and said, "I need to finish my chem homework. Can we like, talk after your party on Saturday or something?"

"Wait… you're going?"

Sam looked amazed, and Sebastian turned to him in slight annoyance. "I was going to, yes. Blaine invited me. I was going to bring Maddie, too. But she went and hurt herself and you were the only one that answered their phone so you got to see her early. But… happy birthday, or whatever."

Sebastian made it sound so casual, but Sam was overjoyed. Sebastian was going to let him see his daughter as his eighteenth birthday present and Sam knew any other gifts he might receive would just pale in comparison to this gift he'd gotten from Sebastian. "Sure, we can talk after my party," Sam nodded. "Just… hang around after everyone else leaves and we'll talk. I'm sure Blaine or someone could watch Maddie while we figure it out."

All Sam received in reply was a nod, and he took that as his cue to leave. It was late, and he still had homework. On his way out the door, Sam peeked back in and said, "Thank you, Sebastian. Thank you so much."

Their eyes met one last time before Sam left, and when he did, Sebastian felt both at ease and anxious. He'd never been away from Maddie for as long as he would be once he and Sam split custody. At least Sam wasn't chasing after him like some heartbroken puppy, now. That part had gotten to him the most. It was like Sam knew that his little innocence act had such an effect on Sebastian, and honestly it was getting on his nerves by the time Sam cut it out.

Sebastian pushed all thoughts of Sam, custody of Maddie, and everything else out of his head and just tried to focus on chemistry as best he could. None of this work would be worth anything unless he graduated from high school and moved on with his life.

Saturday came far faster than Sebastian had been expecting, and he made his way downstairs with Maddie and her diaper bag to climb into the car and go to the Hudson-Hummel home. It was a strange thought, going to see Sam at someone else's place besides his own. When he arrived, the large home was swarming with cars, and Sebastian contemplated leaving. But, he'd promised, and he was trying this new thing where he wasn't a complete dick to the other father of his daughter.

Slowly, Sebastian climbed out of his car and got Maddie out of the back seat. She curled up against him, scared of the people milling about, and he walked inside slowly. "Hey, Sebastian!" Blaine greeted him with a smile.

Most of the party guests were New Directions members – some graduated, some current – and they all turned to stare at him when he walked through the door. Sebastian pointedly avoided their eyes and let Blaine lead him over to the punch. He was aware of how strange he looked, dressed down in jeans and a polo shirt, a baby girl in a frilly dress cradled in his arms. Sam followed them quickly, and he smiled and said, "You still came."

"Of course I did," Sebastian snapped, and then sighed as Maddie turned her head to face Sam.

One little arm reached out to make grabby hands at Sam, and nervously Sam asked, "Can I hold her?"

Sebastian just nodded, and he slowly transferred Maddie from his arms and into Sam's. After that, she was gone. Everyone circled around her, ready and willing to accept Maddie into their little group since she was with Sam. Of course they didn't do 'he same with Sebastian, and it instantly put him in a bitter mood. "They just don't know how to act around you," Blaine attempted lamely.

"Save it," Sebastian shot.

He sat to the side, watching Sam and all the other New Directions members play with Maddie and make her laugh and squeal. It pissed him off, because Sam could provide some sort of social settings for her, whereas she only had Sebastian when he had her. It wasn't fair and it made him feel like shit, so he sulked in the corner for most of the party, trying to accept the fact that Maddie would probably end up liking Sam more than him if Sam's friends had any influence on her at all.

Kurt kept sending sympathetic glances Sebastian's way throughout the day, and Blaine sat at his side trying to point out positive things, but it wasn't really making much of a difference. Sebastian only grew more bitter as the party went on, and he was relieved when it ended. Unfortunately, he'd promised to stick around so they could figure out custody of Maddie, and that meant he'd still have to stay in this place where Sam didn't seem to want to let go of their daughter.

"Well… we can do an every other week sort of thing?" Sam offered hesitantly.

"No," Sebastian said simply. "I refuse to be away from her for that long."

Sam frowned and asked, "Well… it's fair, though."

"What's fair is me getting her for more of the time because I didn't ditch out when she was born," Sebastian replied. "You can have her every other weekend or something."

"What about every weekend?" Sam countered.

"No," Sebastian shot. "I told you. I wasn't the one that ditched her when she was born, so I get her most of the time."

"Every other weekend is four days a month. That's ridiculous," Sam pointed out. He was starting to get upset. "Please, Sebastian. Every weekend?"

"What if there's something I want to take her to one weekend? I can't just take off during the week even though I'm being homeschooled. I have homework to do, too," Sebastian argued.

Sam looked upset, and he knew that if he kept pushing he wouldn't get to see Maddie at all. So, he put his pride aside and in a trembling voice, nodded and said, "Fine. Every other weekend."

It would suck, only getting her four days out of every month, but it was better than nothing and Sam knew he had to take what he could get. "Next weekend, then," Sebastian said, standing quickly to gather their things and go. He held out his arms to Maddie, but she stayed curled up in Sam's arms.

Sam wanted to just cuddle her, but he frowned and said, "Go to daddy. You can come see me later."

Maddie looked up at Sebastian with a frown but let him pick her up, and he had to struggle to keep her from crying. "I'll text you and we can…" Sam began.

"Yeah, whatever," Sebastian cut him off, carrying Maddie out the door before he had to deal with anyone else.

Blaine and Sam watched sadly as Sebastian practically sprinted from the house, and before Blaine could try to fit in any words of comfort, Sam was taking off upstairs. He looked between the two of them, but opted to go upstairs to talk to Sam. "Hey, Sam…" Blaine said softly.

Sam was sitting on his bed, flipping through his phone at the various photos of himself and Maddie that his friends took for him. At least he had those memories, right? "She looked really happy to see you," Blaine commented.

Sam just nodded, and he stared down at the images on his phone. "So you get custody of her, then?" Blaine asked, unsure of what to make of Sam's silence.

"Every other weekend. He won't let me see her more than that," Sam said sadly.

Blaine frowned, because it didn't sound fair, but he knew Sam wanted more than that so he'd just be preaching to the choir if he pointed it out. Blaine made a mental note to talk to Sebastian about this all, and instead he just looked at the positive and said, "Well, at least you get to see her. I'm so happy for you."

Sam nodded and said, "Yeah. She's beautiful, isn't she?"

"Of course she is," Blaine insisted. "She belongs to you and Sebastian."

Sam glanced up at Blaine and said softly, "Thank you."

"Happy birthday, Sam," Blaine replied, giving him a soft smile before getting up so he could go home, fully intending on approaching Sebastian as soon as he could.

The drive home for Sebastian was hell. Maddie cried the entire way, either tired or devastated that she'd been taken away from Sam. It was frustrating for Sebastian and it made him rethink everything about the situation. Sure, Sam deserved to see her, but if she'd get this upset every time, and if she was going to act so unwilling to go back with Sebastian, he wouldn't stand for it. It hurt too much.

When they got home, Sebastian brought her up to the apartment and made a bottle for her, warming it up as he put her in pajamas. He was stressed and still had chemistry homework to do, and on top of it all he had to try to clear his mind of Sam and the situation so he could focus. After he'd put Maddie to bed, Sebastian sat at his kitchen table until the early hours of the morning, and he groaned when someone was knocking on the door.

Frustrated, Sebastian stood up and walked over to answer the door, a glare permanently fixed on his face. When he saw that it was Blaine, the glare grew even more venomous, if it was even possible, and he sighed and walked into his apartment, wordlessly allowing Blaine to enter. "Sebastian, we need to talk about something," Blaine said firmly, sitting down at the kitchen island bar next to him without giving him any choice in the say. "You're letting Sam in, which is great, but he's still so upset."

"I'm giving him time with Maddie," Sebastian replied simply. "If he doesn't like that, he can just fuck off because I could have decided not to speak to him."

Blaine sighed and looked at Sebastian in frustration. "Why don't you want him to have her more often? Why only four days a month?" he challenged.

Sebastian kept his eyes on his homework and pointedly avoided looking at Blaine. He didn't want to open up. What he wanted was to have some time to focus on his homework before Maddie woke up. "You know, if you're stressed about school, I'm sure Sam wouldn't mind watching Maddie more often so you could study," Blaine suggested.

Sebastian slammed his chemistry book shut and looked at Blaine with dangerous anger in his eyes. "Leave. Me. Alone."

"Sebastian, you can try to scare me all you want, but I'm going to stand up for my friends. I understand that you might be hesitant to share Maddie with Sam after everything that happened but she likes him. Shouldn't her happiness mean anything in this equation?" Blaine asked.

"Yeah," Sebastian rolled his eyes sarcastically. "I'm really going to let him have her when she so obviously likes him so much more than me. Next thing I know, I'll be the one who gets her every other weekend because she'll sob and cry every time I try to take her home and I can't stand to see her upset. Yes, that sounds like a _wonderful_ life."

Blaine froze at that, because now at least he was getting somewhere with the issue. Sebastian was afraid of losing Maddie to Sam. "She just has to learn," he said calmly. "You two need to teach Maddie a new routine. I really think that every other week would be good for her. Once she has her routine, she won't cry. She loves you, Sebastian. I see it in the way she looks at you, and I know you love her too, and you won't lose her. Sam won't let you lose her."

Sebastian didn't move for a moment, and when Blaine's words really hit home and he knew that Sam was the kind of guy that wouldn't let any of Sebastian's fears become a reality because of how he felt, Sebastian had to move. He had to distract himself, so he started brewing some coffee with his espresso machine. Blaine watched Sebastian for a moment, and then he used the words he had really been hoping he wouldn't have to use. "Sebastian, if you don't give Sam fair time with Maddie, you're going to get brought to court," Blaine told him. "Sam has people that want to pay the legal fees for him because they think Sam should get equal time with Maddie. So… you can do this the easy way or the hard way. No matter what you choose, I just hope you do what's right by Maddie. This is all for her, remember?"

Blaine had said his piece, and he wasn't going to bother Sebastian any more. He stood up and left the apartment, just in time to make it to school without being late. Sebastian paced the kitchen while his coffee brewed, and when it was done, he called his mother, regardless of the costs it would incur on the phone bill to call all the way out to Paris from Ohio. "Sebastian? Honey? Are you okay?" his mother asked, panicking as soon as she answered the phone.

"I let Sam see Maddie."

"Oh Sebastian, that's great!" his mother exclaimed without thinking.

Sebastian sighed, irritated, and shot, "No, mother, it's not, because now he wants joint custody."

"So let him," Mrs. Smythe said simply. "He's perfectly able, I'm sure of it, and she is half his, you know."

"Of course I know," Sebastian snapped. He took another deep breath and said, "She cried when I took her away from him to come home yesterday. She doesn't want me now that she knows she can have him. I can't handle that, mother."

"Sweetheart… she just has to learn that she has two parents," his mother said softly. "What did you tell him when he asked for custody?"

Sebastian began to explain the whole situation to her, about how he conceded to let Sam have her every other weekend, and that apparently he had financiers that would pay to take Sebastian to court if Sebastian wouldn't let him have Maddie for longer than that. "Well… I'll pay the fees if you think it's worth it to fight him," his mother said, and he could tell that she was frowning. "I really don't think this is as big of a deal as you're making it out to be. When did you sleep last?"

"Two nights ago, but that's not important," Sebastian countered.

"Yes, it is," his mother pointed out. "You're not in your right mind because you haven't been sleeping. Just… relax, think about it, and give him an answer after a good night's rest tonight."

Sebastian hung up on his mother in frustration. Was it so horrible of him to not want to lose his daughter? It was irritating the way everyone said that Maddie would learn. She'd already learned that she only had Sebastian to rely on, and now introducing her to Sam was going to mess with her head. She deserved a simple life, one where she wasn't passed around like luggage every weekend to appease her parents. Sebastian gave birth to her, therefore he should get her for a majority of the time. He was dead set in his ways, which was why he sent Sam a text message letting him know his final decision.

**Sebastian:** Blaine talked to me the other day. I guess I'll see you in court.

Sam frowned as he looked down at the message, and Carole looked up from her book at his change in demeanor and asked, "Are you okay?"

He just held out his phone to show to Carole, who in turn urged Burt to read it as well. "Well, I guess that's it, then," he shrugged. "Tomorrow you and me are gonna find you a lawyer."

Sadly, Sam walked upstairs to his room and flopped down on his bed, frowning as he typed out a message in reply.

**Sam:** I guess so. I'm sorry it came to this.

Sebastian chucked his phone across the room after he read Sam's text message, because if Sam was so sorry he wouldn't be taking him to court in the first place. Then he turned to cuddle Maddie and sighed as he said, "I love you, Mads."

He held her close because she was all he had, and hoped that he wouldn't lose her for good.


	8. Chapter 8

Everything leading up to the court case was a mess. Sebastian let Sam see Maddie every other weekend, and he and Sam had both just graduated, and court was set for a week later. Maddie was crawling and squealing and making noises that were getting closer and closer to 'dada,' to Sebastian's delight. However, he was fighting hard with his lawyer. "I don't think you have much of a case here," his lawyer would always point out.

Sebastian would reiterate that Sam leaving when Maddie was born was a clear example of neglect, and that could count against him rather severely when in court. Sebastian thought he could build a case on this, but the lawyer was still warning Sebastian that he may not get his way. Every single time, Sebastian would leave the laywer's office livid, but Maddie would always find a way to calm him down. She was perfect and exactly what he needed.

He and Sam didn't communicate often. Blaine left the two of them alone because Kurt was home for the summer now and on top of that, he didn't want to get in the middle of it all. Kurt wouldn't have minded, but he certainly would have upped the levels of snark to a caliber that none of them had seen yet. It was newly acquired thanks to New York, Kurt would tell them.

When the date came to go to court, Sebastian let Blaine babysit Maddie, and he reluctantly climbed into his car and left her in the care of Blaine and Kurt. It wasn't something he really wanted to do, considering how Kurt had been treating him, but it was better than nothing and he definitely didn't want to bring her with. It would get messy rather quickly. Sebastian's lawyer met him outside of the courthouse, and he glared when he saw Sam flanked by Kurt's parents _and_ his own parents. It was ridiculous. It was like they were going to team up to try to defeat Sebastian. Determined not to be bothered by it, Sebastian put on his best brave face and walked in, pointedly avoiding meeting their eyes.

Once inside, everyone went through the formalities and the judge opened the case. Sebastian's lawyer presented his case as to why Sam shouldn't get granted joint custody, making sure to touch on the neglect issue. Sebastian glanced over to Sam at the mention, and Sam looked like he would burst into tears just at the accusation that he'd neglected his child. Sam's army looked just as upset.

When Sam's lawyer took over, it was painful for Sebastian to hear. Accusations that he never left with her, that he'd left the country with Maddie without notifying Sam, and mentioning that Sebastian had no family to support him in the entire continental US certainly wouldn't count in his favor, considering he was only eighteen. Sebastian felt like he'd been backstabbed by this person that apparently cared so much about him.

By the time the judge was ready to give the final word, Sebastian was seething. So, when the judge granted joint custody to Sam, Sebastian stood up and shouted, "You cannot do that! Didn't you hear what he said!"

Sebastian pointed to his lawyer, who was desperately trying to shush him. He would only make things worse for himself. "You're the one that basically _told_ me to leave the room that day she was born," Sam countered, evidently just as upset.

The crowd watching could tell that what was happening wasn't good, but instead of hitting her gavel against the counter, the judge just sat back in amusement as the lawyers tried to get their clients under control. "I was in labor!" Sebastian turned to shout at Sam. "Do you really think I was in my right mind!"

"Yeah, and you blamed _me_," Sam replied angrily.

"Well maybe you shouldn't have slept with me then!"

"Maybe you shouldn't have convinced me to!"

The echoes of the gavel rang out throughout the courtroom, and the judge just kept laughing as the lawyers finally got their clients under control. "It sounds to me like this isn't _really_ a custody battle after all," the judge commented with amusement. "It's young love that got out of hand and got dragged into my courtroom. My ruling is final, this courtroom is dismissed."

Everyone rose, and the judge turned and left, still shaking her head. Once she did, Sebastian's lawyer turned to face him. "Your mother should be receiving my bill promptly. I'm sorry you didn't get your way," the lawyer reached out to shake his hand, but Sebastian pushed past him and everyone else.

If it didn't hurt him enough that Sebastian had lost, he remembered that Sam was getting Maddie after the case. It was a Friday, and their custody settlement stated that every Friday through following Friday would be the cycle. Sam would get her for a whole week before Sebastian would get to see her again. It was devastating for him.

Out in his car, Sebastian was enraged. He hit his steering wheel and wished he'd left Maddie with someone other than Kurt and Blaine, who were already at the same place where Sam was staying. It should have only been for the weekend, not a whole week. Something out of the corner of Sebastian's eye caught his attention, and he turned to see Sam rushing towards him. Angrily, Sebastian put the car in drive and streaked out of the parking lot, wheels squealing on the pavement as he got out of there before anyone would talk to him.

When Sam reached the curb where Sebastian's car had just been parked, he frowned and didn't even notice his parents approaching. "He's just upset," his mother said softly, though his father looked ready to kill.

"I just wanted to offer to give him the day with her," Sam said softly. "I was going to let him keep her until after dinner. I know how hard this is going to be for him… I just…"

Sam felt guilty for winning the case. He was taking away the one thing that was keeping Sebastian happy, because he'd learned quickly that he himself wasn't enough. It probably would never be enough. Sadly, Sam turned to look over at his parents and his mom took him into a big hug. "He'll get used to it," she insisted. "So will Maddie. You should be happy! You get to see her as much as you wanted to."

Sam nodded and didn't say a word, but he couldn't be happy. He didn't feel happy. It just didn't feel right. The unsettling thought of what Sebastian was doing and how he was dealing with it haunted Sam for the rest of the day, even when he got home and held Maddie and Kurt and Blaine were so happy for him. It just didn't feel right.

Across town in his apartment, Sebastian was shuffling through his things, washing laundry so he'd have his favorite clothes ready so he could go out. He _needed_ to go out because something needed to take his mind off of things. Sebastian reheated some pasta from the night before as his clothes were in the dryer, and when he was done eating, he changed into jeans and a polo shirt and some boots before he fixed up his hair. Then it was time to grab his fake ID and escape.

Sebastian went out to his car and drove across town, all the way to West Lima to Scandals where he was equipped with more money than he'd need in order to get well and truly wasted. As soon as he was through the door, Sebastian knew it would be a good night. Plenty of hot men roamed the dance floor. More than he could count on two hands, that was for sure, and he almost thought for a minute that it was twink night, with how hot everyone was and how _young_ they all were. Sidling up to the bar, Sebastian ordered two shots right off the bat. Whiskey, no ice. He just wanted to drink the pain and heartache away.

Four shots in, Sebastian's world started to spin and he took that as a sign that he should go to the dance floor and start dancing. In no time, he was sandwiched between Strong Jawed Short Guy and Tall, Sexy Jock. The two of them were sliding their hips against his. Tall, Sexy Jock was hard, Sebastian could feel him, and his cock slid up against Sebastian's ass as they danced. Strong Jawed Short Guy wasn't as close, but he held onto Sebastian's hips like he owned him. It was annoying, but Sebastian didn't care. He let his hands trail over his chest, teasing his nipples through his shirt as the beat boomed around them.

After two songs, Tall, Sexy Jock offered to buy them a round of beers, and Sebastian upped the ante and suggested shots instead. Two rounds of tequila shots later (one courtesy of Tall, Sexy Jock and the other round courtesy of a hairy pervert in the corner), Sebastian found himself nearly double fucked by the two men, they were so close. In his haze of alcohol and sweat, Sebastian found himself comparing these guys to Sam. Tall, Sexy Jock was too tall. It was awkward. Strong Jawed Short Guy's body didn't fit against his as well as Sam's did. Neither of them could keep a rhythm with their hips quite like Sam could.

When Sebastian thought about Sam more than what he was doing, it was a sign that he should drink more. He went there to forget, not to reminisce. So, Sebastian went to the bar where Strong Jawed Short Guy bought them a round of tequila this time. The three of them drank it down and Sebastian let himself be led to the men's room. Grunts and moans echoed throughout, and he wasn't surprised in the least. Everyone in the bar was so much sexier that night.

They took the handicapped stall at the end and Sebastian was pressed hard up against the wall, his lips covered by Tall, Sexy Jock's lips before he could think. Sebastian moaned into the kiss, loud and deep, and he could see Strong Jawed Short Guy getting down on his knees between them. Now it was Tall, Sexy Jock's turn to moan and it was almost the hottest thing Sebastian had heart – after Sam.

Again, he tried to push thoughts of Sam away as his jeans were opened and he felt a hot mouth around his cock. With one mouth on his own and one on his cock, Sebastian was moaning wantonly, his alcohol-addled limbs reaching out and grasping for whatever he could find until his head was thrown against the wall behind him and he struggled to stay upright. Strong Jawed Short Guy tugged Sebastian's jeans and boxers down to his knees and Tall, Sexy Jock stopped kissing him to get down on the floor, too.

Sebastian had to rotate his body so he wasn't leaning against the wall and he didn't understand why until he felt another mouth on him, a hot, slick tongue sliding over his hole. His moans got louder and drowned out the moaning of all the other men in the bathroom. It was just Sebastian and these two mouths that were driving him absolutely insane.

He was so drunk he would probably only have fuzzy memories of this moment, not full ones, but it didn't matter to him because for once he had forgotten everything and for the first time since Maddie's conception, Sebastian was getting some action. He was smirking and moaning, and letting his body rock between their mouths until he couldn't hold back anymore.

Without warning, Sebastian came hard, shooting into Strong Jawed Short Guy's mouth as Tall, Sexy Jock pressed a finger in to the first knuckle. Sebastian hadn't been expecting to cum so hard, his vision blurring and blacking out for a second. When he came to, he was slumped in the bathroom stall, alone, his pants and boxers still around his knees. The men had ditched him. Or maybe he'd passed out for a long time. Sebastian wasn't entirely sure what was happening – the disorientation was frustrating.

Slowly and unsteadily, Sebastian stood and tugged his boxers and pants upwards and fastened them. He grumbled something inaudible and wandered out into the bar to see Strong Jawed Short Guy and Tall, Sexy Jock draped around another man that looked rather similar to Sebastian in body type and height. It all made more sense to him now. Not that Sebastian had been looking for someone to date, because he hadn't, but he wasn't usually the one ditched in bathroom stalls. He was usually the one doing the ditching. He wandered over to the bar but he'd been cut off thanks to his act of passing out in the bathroom. Frustrated, Sebastian closed his tab and left.

Stepping into the dark, crisp June nighttime, Sebastian fished around in his pocket for his cell phone. Scrolling through the contacts, he realized he'd pushed away everyone on the list. From Blaine all the way down to Sam, Sebastian knew not a single one of them would answer their phone. Frustrated, upset, and very, very drunk, Sebastian slowly began to teeter his way home unsteadily. The walk took him hours, but there were no other options and he certainly couldn't drive, so it was his only choice.

When Sebastian got home, he fell face first on his bed and dozed off, unaware of the time and determined to do the same thing the following night and every night after that until he felt something.

Sebastian woke to his cell phone ringing bright and early at ten o'clock in the morning, and he didn't even look to see who it was before he answered with a grunt. "Sebastian?" Blaine asked curiously.

Sebastian just grumbled again, and Blaine sighed, "Where did you go yesterday? Sam was looking for you?"

"To rub it in my face that I don't get to see my daughter for the next week?" Sebastian asked harshly. "I don't think so."

"He was going to let you have her until after dinner," Blaine pointed out. Sebastian didn't say anything, and Blaine took a deep breath before saying words that could very well end his tentative friendship that he'd built with Sebastian. "You know, if you want to see her all the time, there _is_ something you could do."

"I'm listening."

Blaine felt better knowing Sebastian didn't hate him for the suggestion. "You could give Sam another shot. I know he still cares about you no matter what you guys have done or said about each other. If you two are together, you could eventually move in together and then you'd get to see Maddie all the time. Sam, too," Blaine explained, and then slowly added, "I know that deep down somewhere you know you return his feelings."

"You don't know anything," Sebastian shot.

"I know you care about Maddie, and I see the way you look at her. You used to look at Sam that way," Blaine commented.

Sebastian just hung up the phone, but Blaine didn't care. He'd gotten his point across and that was what was important. Sebastian went back to sleep, and his phone didn't ring again until about four o'clock. Sebastian groaned in frustration yet again, but answered. "Hey, Sebastian, it's me… Sam," Sam sounded scared and a bit timid, and Sebastian didn't blame him. "Look, I don't know if you're even there or not, but I wanted to ask you if you would maybe want to go out tonight. You, me, and Maddie."

"What?" Sebastian asked, probably harsher than he meant to.

"Look, I'm taking her to Breadstix for a nice dinner out, and I'm wondering if you want to come with. I know you didn't get to really say a decent goodbye and you left before I could let you see her yesterday, so I didn't know if you'd want to come out with us tonight. She misses you, and I do, too, as dumb as that sounds," Sam confessed.

Sebastian sighed and then asked, "When?"

"We're going tonight. I made a reservation at six for a private table so we don't draw a ton of attention, you know?" Sam explained. "I mean, I did it just in case you wanted to come with and didn't want to get stared at or something. It's no big deal if you don't want to come with. I get it."

Sebastian weighed the pros and cons of going in his head. If he went, he would get to see Maddie, but he'd also give Sam the idea that everything was okay. Everything certainly was _not_ okay, at least in Sebastian's mind. But if he didn't go, it might be worse. He wouldn't get to see Maddie, and she'd be upset. Sebastian never wanted to hurt her, so he nodded and said, "Sure, I'll meet you guys there."

Sebastian didn't know it, but Sam was beaming from ear to ear. Sebastian hung up and drearily dragged himself out of bed. His evening was going to be even more of a headache than he already had and he definitely wasn't prepared for it. Maddie was the beacon of light at the end of all the hell Sebastian would go through, and it was enough for him.

He just had to stop trying to figure out why Sam _really_ asked him.

Sebastian took medicine, and then went to shower and get dressed. It took him forever to look like he wasn't a zombie, but after a whole pot of coffee (and several trips to the bathroom) Sebastian looked presentable. Sam would have no idea that Sebastian was out drinking all night. Not that he needed to know, because Sebastian was almost positive it was none of Sam's business.

At a quarter to six, Sebastian grabbed his keys and his wallet and left before he had a chance to back out. When he got to Breadstix, he watched Sam and Maddie walk through the front door. Slowly Sebastian climbed out of his car and walked inside. Sam and Maddie were up front waiting for him, and when he entered, both beamed at him and Maddie reached out for him. Without so much as a question about it, Sebastian reached out to hold Maddie and Sam let him. "Hey," Sam said softly.

Sebastian just glanced over at him and nodded in acknowledgement as the hostess led them to a table. It was secluded and they had a child seat at the end of it, ready for Maddie. Sebastian couldn't believe Maddie was already big enough to sit in the seat, but he set her there anyway and sat down across from Sam. He ordered a glass of water and then turned to Sam, who ordered the same. When the waitress left, Sam said, "It's nice to see you."

Again, Sebastian just nodded. He didn't know what else to say. The whole dinner was like that. Definitely awkward, mostly silent as they ate except for random mutterings from Maddie. When it ended, Sam paid and Sebastian noticed that he paid with curled up bills. He was still using that money from Stallionz, and he was only using it on Sebastian. At that, Sebastian turned and said, "I have ice cream in the freezer at my place. You guys can come over or something. Have some."

Sam smiled, feeling like he was making headway, and he nodded. "We'd love to," he said with a grin.

Sebastian nodded and drove back to his place, Maddie and Sam in Sam's car behind him. When they got upstairs, Maddie was crawling around and squealing, and Sam was laughing and playing with her, sitting in the living room. It was the same sight that made his heart melt before. He loved it. Not that Sebastian would ever put his pride aside long enough to say so, but it was still true.

He scooped out some bowls of ice cream for each of them, and decided that he and Sam could just feed Maddie from their bowls instead of letting her make a mess with her own. She laughed, playing games in the living room as Sam and Sebastian sat on the sofa, just separate enough from each other to make things awkward. First Maddie would crawl to one of them and prop herself up, holding onto their knee, and then she'd move and do the same to the other, taking bites between the two.

After she'd had her fill of ice cream and Sam and Sebastian emptied their bowls, Maddie sat on the floor and looked between them. "Dada!" she declared.

Both boys froze. Sebastian was horrified, hoping that she wasn't _just_ calling Sam 'dada.' Sebastian wanted to be 'dada.' He _needed_ it, almost. "Wait, what did you say, Maddie?" Sam asked, confused. He didn't know what to think of it all. He pointed to Sebastian first and asked, "What do you call him?"

"Dada!" Maddie said proudly.

"Okay, but… what do you call me?" he asked, pointing to himself.

"Dada!" she declared again.

Sebastian and Sam looked at each other, in shock, and then turned back to Maddie, who was now chanting the word 'dada' from where she sat on the floor. "I can teach her to call me Sam if you want…" Sam trailed off nervously.

The last thing Sam wanted was to upset or offend Sebastian. Not after he was finally getting back in his good graces. Nervously, he watched Sebastian, who seemed to have his gaze fixed on Maddie. "No," Sebastian sighed. "She can call you dad. Whatever. I mean, we each get her half of the time."

Sam watched Sebastian, not sure whether Sebastian really meant what he was saying. There was a whole lot more to it than he wanted to let on. Maddie climbed up on Sebastian's leg again, and Sebastian cradled her in his arms as she wore out. Sam watched how good Sebastian was with her, and he couldn't help but notice how good Sebastian and Maddie looked, right there in front of them. It was one of the first times they'd ever interacted as a family.

Maddie dozed off a little bit later, and when Sam checked the time, he said nervously, "W-we should go."

Sebastian still didn't like waking Maddie, even she was on a decent sleep schedule again. He liked keeping her comfortable and asleep. At least the clothes she was wearing were conducive to that, he thought. Against his better judgment, Sebastian sighed and said, "You guys can stay here overnight."

Sam looked over at Sebastian with an unreadable expression, trying to figure out if he was actually being serious. He hadn't been expecting an overnight invite when he'd agreed to go back for ice cream. Given all the past animosity and fighting between them, and the spark that Sam knew could be there if Sebastian just opened himself up to it, Sam nodded, and he said, "Maddie and I would love to stay."

Sebastian nodded and slowly stood up to carry her down to her bedroom. He gently put her in her crib, Sam watching from the doorway. Once Sebastian put her down, he turned on the baby monitor sitting at his bedside and took a seat in his room, right on the edge of the bed. Sam followed slowly, and he said from the doorway, "You're really great with her."

With another nod, Sebastian acknowledged Sam's statement. Sam was, too, but Sebastian didn't often pay out compliments. It wasn't really his style. So, he just stood up and walked over to Sam. "You can sleep here. I'll go out to the couch," he said.

"No," Sam shook his head, stepping in the doorway so Sebastian couldn't leave. "It's fine… I can take the couch. Or… we could both stay here. I mean… we've done a lot more, so this is no big deal, right?"

Sebastian knew that Sam had a point, but it was the principle of it all. They hadn't shared a bed in a long time – ever, really – and here Sam was, wanting to do it while they had a child. Having a child complicated things a lot. If something went wrong, it could really, really hurt Maddie. But at the same time, there was that glimmer of the idea that if something went well, it could really help her and improve her life. Sebastian knew how much it sucked to have parents that argued a lot.

Slowly, he nodded and said, "Sure… we can both sleep here, if that's what you want." Sebastian walked over to his dresser and opened one of the drawers. "You can grab some pajamas if you need them," he said, before grabbing a pair of pajama pants and a plain gray tee shirt.

As he changed in the bathroom, Sebastian thought about the magnitude of what they were doing. He was going to share a bed with Sam. The three of them were under the same roof, acting like a couple. It was strange, but at the same time, Sebastian didn't mind. Sam was still as good looking as ever. Time was good to Sam. So, when Sebastian emerged, he swore to be friendly.

He pulled back the covers as Sam went into the bathroom to change, and when he walked back out, Sebastian was on one side of the bed, leaning against the headboard reading a book, reading glasses perched on his nose. Sam paused when he opened the bathroom door, taking in the sight of Sebastian like that, calm in the dim lamplight. A small smile played on his lips and he walked into the room fully and climbed beneath the blankets on the other side of the bed. "Is the light bothering you?" Sebastian asked, not tearing his eyes from the page.

"No, it's fine," Sam admitted, and it really was. He'd shared a motel room with Stevie and Stacy long enough to be used to lights. They couldn't sleep without a night light.

Sam rested his head against the pillows, curled up on his side facing Sebastian, but his eyes were closed. Sebastian went to bed not long after Sam settled into bed, the calm silence from Maddie's room crackling on the baby monitor. When Sebastian curled up facing the same direction as Sam, Sam waited a little bit before he reached over and gently wrapped an arm around Sebastian's waist.

He was prepared for anger or ridicule, but was met with none. Instead, Sebastian just let out a deep breath and settled further into the bed, relaxed and comfortable. Sebastian's heart was beating fast and he had absolutely no clue what Sam was playing at, but in that moment he didn't feel like questioning it. Sebastian just closed his eyes and let the calmness and comfort of having Sam holding him lull him to sleep.

When Sam finally fell asleep once he knew Sebastian wasn't going to pull away, a smile played on his lips and he found himself thinking that this was possible. Maybe he could still turn things around and make a family out of the three of them.


	9. Chapter 9

Waking up in Sam's arms was something that Sebastian wasn't so sure he'd ever get used to. It freaked him out, letting someone else have that little bit of control, the ability to make him feel safe in a way he hasn't in his whole life. Sebastian tried not to panic, and slowly squirmed out of Sam's arms and into the living room early that morning, leaving Sam sleeping in bed alone. As he paused in the doorway, Sebastian looked back to really take in the sight of Sam curled up in his bed. Sam's blonde hair was all over the place and he looked calm and peaceful – a complete change from his constantly worried or scared look that he adopted around Sebastian every time they were together. Sebastian sighed and thought about what Sam might take all of this to mean, and he walked out into the living area of the apartment.

In the kitchen, Sebastian brewed himself some coffee and browsed through the cupboards, trying to find something he could serve for breakfast. He might feel awkward about the whole situation, but he was raised to be a good host, and to be a good host he should provide breakfast to Sam, and Maddie by extension. All he could find were some sausages and eggs, and there was a half of a loaf of bread left that he could make some toast out of as well. The clock neared ten a.m. by the time Sebastian finished making breakfast, and when he did, Maddie started to cry. Sebastian glanced up, trying to figure out how to walk away from half-scrambled eggs to get her, but Sam was on his game. The monitor was still on in the room so he'd heard her, and he walked in a few minutes later with a sleepy looking Maddie and his own scruffy disorientation. "Hey," he said groggily.

"Hey," Sebastian replied shortly.

Sam put Maddie in her high chair, and then he sat down at the table next to her. He ran his hands through his hair and kept silent as Sebastian worked in the kitchen. Sam wanted to offer to help, but Sebastian looked like he had it all under control. A couple of minutes later, Maddie had a sippy cup filled with juice, and Sam had a steaming hot cappuccino in front of him. He gratefully sipped from it and watched as Sebastian prepared their plates. Maddie just got toast and some Fruit Loops, and he and Sam had the eggs, sausages, and toast. Sebastian gave Maddie her breakfast first, and then slid Sam's across the table to him along with a fork before Sebastian sat down in his own spot, plate, fork, and coffee in front of him.

Breakfast was quiet and slightly awkward. Sebastian didn't have people over often, and he was still tired and in his pajamas, so he didn't quite know what to say. Sam kept glancing up over the table at him, and finally, when they had finished eating, Sam said softly, "That was delicious. Thank you."

Sebastian nodded in recognition of the thanks, and he held his hand out to take Sam's dirty dishes. Sam took his own and stood up. "Let me help," he offered.

It would have taken energy that Sebastian didn't yet possess for him to argue and say no, so instead he just led Sam into the kitchen and put his own dishes away in the dishwasher, so Sam knew where it was and how to do it to Sebastian's liking. Once that was done, neither of them knew what to do. "Sebastian, I… thank you for letting us stay here last night," Sam settled upon, not entirely sure how to convey what he was feeling in that moment.

"Waking Maddie to bring her home would have been hell," Sebastian shrugged.

Sam knew that was as much of an acknowledgement that he was going to get in that moment. "We should probably get going… I'm sure Burt and Carole are wondering where we are…" Sam trailed off nervously. He wasn't sure how Sebastian would react to them leaving. Sam still had custody of Maddie until Friday, and it was only Sunday.

Sebastian just nodded, and he glanced over at Maddie. "You can get her ready to go if you want," Sam offered.

It was little stuff like that that caused Sebastian to look at Sam in a way that said he couldn't quite figure him out. If he was so adamant about joint custody, why was he so willing to share? What was he getting at? Sebastian was confused, but took Sam up on his offer. Sebastian cleaned Maddie up and took her from her high chair. Once they got to her room, Sebastian looked down at her with a bit of sadness and she asked inquisitively, "Dada?"

"Yeah, baby?" he asked as he changed her diaper and put a new dress on her.

Maddie just smiled and clapped, and Sebastian understood. Her speech was still very limited, but something about his expression had worried her and she had wanted to cheer him up. He smiled down at her and once she was dressed, Sebastian picked her up to hug her. "I love you, Mads," he said softly, kissing her on the cheek.

Maddie wrapped her little arms around Sebastian's neck as best she could to hug him in return, and she cooed happily, "Dada."

After their exchange in Maddie's room, Sebastian was even more reluctant to let Maddie go. It was a legally binding agreement so Sebastian knew he couldn't fight it, but deep down he wanted to. Out in the living room, Sam was changed back into what he'd worn the previous day, and he reached out for Maddie. "Time to go?" he asked.

Confusion filled Maddie's eyes and she looked up at Sebastian, then over at Sam. When her eyes met Sebastian's again, it killed him to say, "Go with daddy, Mads. You get to see me again soon, I promise."

Maddie looked sad and confused, but she let Sam take her, and she snuggled into his chest. Sam's eyes met Sebastian's, and for a minute that same sadness that Sam recognized from court was back in Sebastian's eyes. "I…" Sam began.

"Just go," Sebastian said softly, walking over to the door to open it.

Sam gave Sebastian a pleading look but it wasn't going to work and he knew it. "I'll see you later, then," Sam said, defeated.

"Friday," Sebastian said simply, closing the door and pointedly avoiding looking at either of them. It hurt too much.

Frustrated, Sebastian went back into his room and flopped onto his bed. It didn't take him more than five minutes to smell Sam on the blankets and pillows. It was like everything was a reminder of this _family_ he'd acquired, now. Avoiding it was impossible as long as Sebastian let moments like the previous night happen again. What killed him even more was that now he didn't find himself just missing Maddie.

The following night when Sebastian went to bed, alone and cold under his covers, he thought back to the night before where Sam had held him and they'd fallen asleep together. He wanted that back. Sebastian felt like an idiot for it, but he wanted desperately to relive that night over and over again. Something about Sam made Sebastian feel safe and cared about, and it was so much better than a phone call from his mother in France every so often.

Now that he didn't have school, Sebastian saw nothing wrong with going out to Scandals. Monday night he drank, Tuesday night he drank, Wednesday night he got so wasted he couldn't remember anything past ten o'clock, and finally on Thursday it all caught up with him. From the time he got home at two o'clock in the morning, all the way until eight o'clock that night, Sebastian spent his time curled up under a blanket on the bathroom floor, vomiting intermittently when he wasn't dozing off. His phone lay forgotten in his room, six missed calls and thirteen ignored text messages from Blaine all gathered in his phone. At eight o'clock, Sebastian was forced to move by a concerned Blaine, and Sebastian was thankful.

Blaine was stronger than he looked, Sebastian noticed, and he dragged Sebastian into the living room where he handed him a trash can and told him not to move. Sitting up didn't help Sebastian at all, even though at least now he knew he was just dealing with the after-effects. The room wasn't spinning anymore, and he didn't feel that buzz. "Sebastian, you have to stop this," Blaine said seriously, handing Sebastian a tall glass of water. "If you get caught, do you even realize what the consequences will be?"

Sebastian shot a strong glare at Blaine. Truthfully, he hadn't thought about the consequences at all, but he certainly didn't think that anything about the situation was Blaine's business. Then again, Sebastian didn't even know how Blaine got into the apartment building and his apartment, nor did he care to think about it. "Sebastian, if you get caught at Scandals with that fake ID, you'll get arrested. You could lose Maddie for good. Do you understand that?" Blaine told him, looking right into Sebastian's unfocused eyes.

The thought of losing Maddie was instantly sobering, and Sebastian didn't feel buzzed, just sick. He couldn't lose her. But at the same time, Sebastian didn't know how to handle himself or what to do with his time now that she wasn't around. "I know you don't want to lose her. This whole court battle you had with Sam is solid proof of that," Blaine told Sebastian as he smoothed the sweat-slicked hair off of Sebastian's forehead. "Everything you do, you have to do for Maddie. Are you enrolled for college? Have you even applied? It'll be starting soon, and I really think it would be good for you. You need something to do with your time, and you need something to keep you out of trouble. You and I both know that Sam is a perfectly capable parent, but you both deserve equal time with Maddie and that isn't going to happen if you're going out and risking all of this just to drink it all away."

Blaine had been worried for days, hearing through the grapevine how often Sebastian had been at Scandals. When their eyes met, Sebastian looked like he was on the verge of tears. He couldn't handle the pressure and didn't know what to do. "M-mother said I'm accepted to… _fuck_, I don't even know, but I can do home study," Sebastian slurred.

"You could… but should you?" Blaine challenged.

"Of course I should," Sebastian shot.

Blaine sighed and said, "I mean… she's getting old enough to go to daycare. I think you and Sam both need to stop sending so much time at home with her and take this on like adults. Staying home with her is admirable, but don't you think she should start making friends? Maddie loves you both, but daycare will teach her sharing, and help her make friends. She's growing up, and this is the next step."

"I prefer classes online," Sebastian said matter-of-factly.

"That's okay," Blaine said earnestly. "Just… try half and half, maybe? Take half of your classes on campus, and then take the other half online. That way maybe she only has to go to daycare for half days, or only certain days of the week. Work it out with Sam, too. Find somewhere that you can both pay for and make it to daily and work it out."

Sebastian sighed. Working things out with Sam meant seeing him more, and seeing him more meant that Sebastian was faced with all of these feelings that he hated thinking about. After everything he's put Sam through, and everything Sam put him through, Sebastian was convinced that there was no chance for the two of them anymore. Blaine let Sebastian sit and relax for a few minutes before he asked, "So, Sam stayed over last weekend, huh?"

When their eyes met, the pure danger in Sebastian's eyes should have scared Blaine away right then and there. He just watched Sebastian, though, and finally he sighed and said, "Yeah. Sam invited me out to dinner with them and we came back here for ice cream. Maddie fell asleep and I didn't want to have to wake her so they stayed overnight."

Blaine knew the whole story, whether Sebastian wanted to explain it to him or not. He was well aware that the two men had cuddled. Sam went on and on about it for hours when he'd gotten back, a huge grin on his face. Even being pushed out the door didn't have an effect on him because all Sam could think about was the way they'd cuddled and gone out as a family and acted so completely domestic. It was the greatest feeling, in Sam's opinion. "You should take him out on a date. I'll babysit. Just… see how it goes. You guys were fine before she was born, right?" Blaine offered.

He knew he was walking on thin ice with his suggestion, but Blaine wanted Sebastian to know that he had that sort of faith in their relationship. "One date, not a lifetime commitment," Blaine clarified.

Sebastian sighed and said, "Later. I just…"

He felt his stomach lurch again, and he was throwing up while Blaine sighed and walked into the kitchen. Blaine checked every nook and cranny of the apartment, searching for any alcohol that might be left in Sebastian's home. All he found was a half-full flask, and Blaine took the liberty of pouring it down the drain. Sebastian really didn't need alcohol around when he was dealing with this sort of confusion and all this change in his life. When Sebastian returned, he flopped onto the couch and Blaine said, "I want you to stop drinking. For now, at least, because you need to straighten out what exactly is going on between you and Sam, and figure out how to work Maddie into it. This is your shot at a family – at something you've told me many times you didn't have growing up. I know you can give her a good life, but don't rule out a relationship along with it, okay?"

Sebastian glared up at Blaine, but nodded and went into the bathroom to take a shower. When he got out, he brushed his teeth and got himself a glass of ice water, and he sat around on the patio for a while, just thinking about it all.

On the one hand, Sebastian didn't know if he wanted to deal with all the baggage of a relationship. If they fought, Maddie would know it. Sam had so much going on in his life, the stripping thing was evidence of that, and Sebastian knew full well that he was living in a town without his family. What if Sam wanted to go back to Kentucky to be with his parents? That would leave Sebastian stuck with the option of moving to an even worse state than Ohio, or going through a breakup.

Breakups were the biggest reason why Sebastian avoided relationships. He didn't want to have to say goodbye to someone that he let in. Sebastian was a very reserved person and if someone got to see all of him, his whole personality like the way that he let Blaine, they were lucky. Sebastian could count on one hand the people that he'd opened up to about his life and what he really was like behind the cold exterior. If Sebastian let Sam in, he was subjecting himself to the potential of having that all thrown in his face if Sam left. He wasn't sure he was ready to deal with that.

On the other hand, Sebastian really wanted someone in his life consistently. He didn't like sitting at home alone. If he hadn't figured that out before Maddie, he certainly figured it out after. Sebastian had grown up alone; he was sick and tired of having to do everything in solitude, go out alone, eat alone, talk to nobody. Having Sam in his life meant that Sebastian would at least have someone to talk to, or watch mindless movies with, or _anything_. As long as he wasn't alone, it was a step in the direction that Sebastian wanted to move towards.

Even more, Sebastian knew that with Maddie, meeting anyone else would be more of a chore than he was willing to deal with. Having a child severely limited dating possibilities, so if Sebastian wanted a shot at a relationship, maybe Sam was his only chance. The chances of finding a guy that he was attracted to that actually liked children was slim to none and Sebastian knew it. Besides, he didn't know if he'd want to see anybody other than Sam caring for and loving Maddie like a daughter. Sebastian got very possessive of her, and he didn't want anybody else to have the chance to be mistaken as 'dada.' It was hard enough for Sebastian to share that title with Sam.

After almost two hours of sitting out on the patio thinking about it all, Sebastian picked up his cell phone and dialed Sam's phone number. After three rings, Sebastian was about to hang up because Sam obviously wasn't interested, but then Sam answered, sounding rushed, "Hey."

"I can call later," Sebastian shook his head.

"No, sorry, I was just putting Maddie down to bed and my phone was in my room," Sam said. He sounded calmer now. "I'm good."

Sebastian was quiet, and Sam didn't say anything for fear of messing up whatever it was Sebastian had called him for. "So, Friday night…"

"Oh, yeah, I can bring her to your place after dinner, or you can come get her, or whatever you want to do," Sam said simply. "I'm totally flexible."

He wanted to make switching Maddie from one home to the other as seamless as possible, and he didn't want to start any fights, so Sam agreed to just do whatever it was that Sebastian would want. "That's… well, that's not why I called, but I guess we can just figure it out next week," Sebastian shrugged.

"Next week?" Sam asked curiously.

After Sebastian had fought so hard for custody of Maddie, was he really giving Sam two weeks in a row with her? Sam didn't know where this was going, so he was silent and waited for an answer. "Leave her with Blaine Friday night. He already agreed to babysit," Sebastian instructed.

"Why does she need a babysitter?"

Sam didn't know what was going on, but he didn't really think it was right of Sebastian to go out during his weeks that he had Maddie. If he brought her out, that was one thing, but giving her to someone else so he could go out drinking or clubbing or whatever it was that he liked to do was a completely separate thing. "We're going out Friday night," Sebastian said simply.

The line was silent and Sebastian waited for some sort of argument or other problem that could convince Sebastian that this whole thing had been a bad idea. "Who's we?" Sam asked cluelessly.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. He would have been annoyed if he hadn't known that this was just the way Sam was: clueless. Sebastian took a moment to let out a deep sigh, and then he said, "You and me. We're going out to dinner, okay? So I'll pick you up at eight."

Sam didn't say a single word. He didn't know what to think. Was Sebastian really taking him out on a date? There was really no other way to interpret the situation, and the fact that Sebastian sounded so freaked out only gave away the fact that this was indeed a date. Sebastian didn't mind going out as a family, but one on one was different. It had been far too long since they went out with just the two of them. "Sure," Sam said softly, still in shock.

"Dress up, too," Sebastian added.

He had things in mind for Friday night, and he wouldn't admit that half of the ideas were courtesy of Blaine. Instead, Sebastian would just let things go the way they would, and Sam would either appreciate it or he wouldn't like it. Sebastian found himself hoping that things would go well. He needed to give this a try because he had more of a chance of it working out with Sam than he did with anyone else. Mostly, Sebastian was just tired of being alone, and he knew that Sam could help him with that.

Friday came around much faster than Sebastian was prepared for, but he wasn't about to back out. He showered that morning, sat around in pajama pants with no shirt on, mindlessly flipping through channels until six thirty rolled around. Then Sebastian walked down to his room and pulled on black dress pants and a deep red button down shirt. Red was his color, or one of them at least, and Sebastian liked wearing it. It was a nice thing to wear after he'd gone so long without the Dalton uniform. He felt safe in the uniform, but now he couldn't wear it. He was done with high school, out of that place, and all he had left was wherever he decided to go to college – and he had to choose soon. Sebastian pushed those thoughts away and looked himself over in the mirror.

He combed back his hair and shaved away the bit of scruff that had been growing on his face, and then he put on a spritz of cologne and looked himself over. Sebastian felt better than he had in a long time – he looked like he did before he'd gotten pregnant. Back to being thin and slender instead of just a bit puffy on his stomach, Sebastian felt back to normal, aside from the fact that he was preparing to go out on a date, something the "old" Sebastian would have never done. He took a deep breath and put his wallet in his pocket before he grabbed his keys and left.

Right at eight o'clock, Sebastian was parked outside of the Hudson-Hummel home. He walked up the sidewalk and knocked on the door, and he waited impatiently for Sam to answer the door. Instead of Sam, it was Kurt's father, Burt as he'd learned, and the man was downright intimidating. "I'm here to pick up Sam," Sebastian said as politely as he could.

Burt fixed him with a scrutinizing gaze, but nodded and said, "Come in. He's just finishing up."

Sebastian reluctantly walked inside, and he spotted Finn's mother in the living room reading a magazine. Burt kept his eye on Sebastian, and Sebastian just stood with his hands in his pockets and waited, glancing up the stairs and silently begging Sam to come downstairs and save him from this awkward situation that Sebastian really wasn't in the mood to deal with. He'd convinced himself to let his walls down and set aside that cold exterior, and here he was in the exact situation where he'd need to act that way.

Thankfully, Sebastian didn't have to wait much longer because Sam rushed down the stairs, dressed well in dark jeans and a light blue and white striped button down shirt. "Hey," he said to Sebastian with a smile, successfully ignoring the look on Burt's face.

"Ready to go?" Sebastian asked.

Sam nodded, and Sebastian turned to politely nod a goodbye to Burt and Carole as well. He walked out the door and said, "Never again, okay? I don't like them."

Sam had to think for a moment to figure out what exactly Sebastian meant by what he was saying, but then he figured it out and said, "Oh, Burt looks way scarier than he really is. You just gotta remember that he's Kurt's dad. It makes it a bit easier when you think of it that way."

Sebastian had plenty of words he could say to that, but all of them would ruin the day and he wasn't ready to do that. So instead, Sebastian just nodded and walked out to the car. He climbed in the driver's seat and waited for Sam to climb in. Sam sat down in the passenger's seat and glanced over at Sebastian. "So, where are we going?" he asked.

"It's a surprise," Sebastian said simply.

He put the car in drive and drove away from the curb, all the way into town, past his apartment, and into the nicest part of downtown. There was a restaurant in the area that served a five star menu, and Sebastian had been there a time or two before Maddie and Sam. He had a reservation at eight thirty for them, and they'd be right on time for it. Sebastian parked in the lot across the street, and then he climbed out of the car. Sam stared at the building in awe and just followed Sebastian silently.

When they got up to the front door, a worker opened it for them, and Sebastian walked right up to the hostess and said, "Reservation for Smythe?"

She nodded and smiled, looking between the two men before she led them into the restaurant. It was fairly busy; it was a Friday night, after all, and she led them to a table in a back corner. "Can I get you two anything to drink to start the night off?" she asked politely.

"I'll just have a water for now," Sebastian nodded.

Sam agreed, and the hostess walked away to get their waters. Sam looked around him in awe, and then fixed his gaze upon Sebastian. "This place is amazing," he said in awe.

Sebastian shrugged and tried to stay nonchalant about the whole thing. "It's pretty decent. The food is really good. You should try the filet mignon. It's perfect," Sebastian commented as he looked over the menu. "Do you want an appetizer? Each dish is made as its ordered, so dinner here usually takes a few hours overall. You can have anything you want."

With a frown, Sam looked over the menu and he commented, "They don't show the prices."

"It doesn't matter. I'm paying, and you can get whatever you want. Don't worry about it," Sebastian said.

He'd purposely chosen this restaurant, because he didn't want Sam to think about money. That kid needed to get dollar signs out of his brain for a few minutes and just enjoy the things around him. Sebastian had learned that when money wasn't an issue, a person noticed a lot more around them. Money was such an unnecessary worry, in his opinion.

Sam glanced up and tried to figure out Sebastian as he said that Sam shouldn't think about money, and that he was paying. Something along the way had triggered Sebastian into asking Sam on a real date. It was the first time he'd been treated like this, taken somewhere special, and told not to worry about money. Sam appreciated it more than he'd be able to put into words. Deciding it wouldn't be worth it to argue, Sam just nodded and said, "Thanks."

Sebastian shrugged, because it was really no problem for him, and he looked over the menu to see what else he could try. In their seasonal menu it mentioned shark as an entrée, and Sebastian thought for a moment that it sounded interesting. "Have you two decided what you're getting?" the waitress asked as she approached.

Sebastian nodded, and then looked up at Sam. "I uh… I'll have the filet mignon," he said, looking up at Sebastian with a bit of nervousness. "With… the vegetables and garlic mashed potatoes."

The waitress scribbled down his order, and then she turned to look at Sebastian. "I'll have the shark platter, with the Caesar salad and garlic mashed potatoes as well," he said, quickly and confidently.

Again, the waitress scribbled down the order, and then she nodded, "I'll get those back to the chef. Can we get you an appetizer while you're waiting?"

The appetizers were already prepared and ready to go, so Sebastian nodded and said, "Sampler platter, please."

Sam had been content to just have his meal, but Sebastian seemed to insist, so he didn't say another word. "And any wine or soda for you two?" the waitress asked.

Sebastian thought about it for a moment, and he said, "Coke with lime, please."

"Just a coke for me," Sam chimed in.

Once the waitress had their complete orders, she walked away. Sam gazed across the table in awe of Sebastian and said, "This is… it's too much, Sebastian. Really."

"It's just enough," Sebastian shrugged. "Just… accept it, okay? I don't show my favorite restaurant to just anyone."

Sebastian's words hit Sam and he realized that Sebastian was showing him things about him – little favorites and likes and dislikes – and not many people had that privilege. Somehow, Sam had earned Sebastian's trust and now that he knew it, he certainly wasn't going to lose it. The sodas and appetizers took next to no time to arrive, and Sebastian dug in. Sam did as well, and the two seemed to like everything on the sampler platter. They split it evenly, and they had time to sit back and relax before their meals arrived. "So, do you come here a lot, then?" Sam asked curiously.

"Not really," Sebastian shook his head. "I haven't since long before that night at Stallionz. Mother and I came here for Christmas dinner once."

"Does your mom live around here?" Sam asked.

Sebastian just glanced up across the table. He thought for a moment about just snapping at Sam or ending the conversation, but before he could focus too much on it all, he said, "She lives in Paris. And Father… I don't know where he is, to be completely honest."

"Are they divorced?"

Sebastian sighed. He didn't know how to really explain it all. "That isn't how my family works. Divorce is unforgivable. So instead, spouses live wherever they please, they acknowledge each other for social events, but only sometimes, and then aside from having children to carry on the name, they don't really see each other," Sebastian shrugged. "I'm assuming they were in love at one point because it was their decision to get married and there was no arranged marriage mess, but… they're not together but they're not divorced."

Sam just nodded. Sebastian's family was in stark contrast to Sam's, whose parents were high school sweethearts, married the summer after graduation, and had Sam not long after. He wasn't quite sure what to say to any of it, so Sam settled for a nod and to take a sip of soda. Sebastian just eyed Sam warily and knew he'd made him uncomfortable. Their meals arrived not long after, and Sebastian looked down at his plate hungrily. He'd never had shark before. With a glance up, Sebastian realized that Sam hadn't even seen it before, because he was staring at the plate in awe. "Want a taste?" Sebastian asked.

He started to cut the meat, and he cut a large but bite sized piece and held his fork up and out so Sam could eat the piece of meat off of it. Sam just stared in shock for a moment at the gesture, but flashed Sebastian a smile and leaned in to eat it. Sebastian's eyes lingered on Sam's lips, the way they wrapped around the fork, and he had to look away because there was no way he'd let his mind go _there_ while they were out in public. Sam chewed thoughtfully and when he swallowed, he said, "That was weird. It's like that fish texture but it tastes like beef."

"It's delicious," Sebastian commented as he finished chewing his own piece.

Sam smiled and nodded, and things were a little more at ease now between the two of them. Sam even did an impression and didn't get made fun of. By the time they were done eating their meals, they were almost completely full. "Just one of your teacup brownies, please," Sebastian said to the waitress. "We're going to share."

The waitress smiled and nodded, and Sam raised an eyebrow to ask, "Teacup brownies?"

"You'll see," Sebastian shrugged.

He took another drink of his soda and Sam just watched him with a curious eye. "Sebastian… thank you for tonight," Sam said earnestly. "I really mean it. This is the best date I've ever been on, and… well, you know how I feel about you, which makes it even better. So… thanks."

Sebastian nodded slowly and said, "Yeah, no problem."

Sam caught Sebastian's eye over the candle centerpiece on the table, and they both smiled. Their moment was interrupted by the delivery of their dessert, and Sam looked down to see a brownie that was actually baked in a teacup. It had whipped cream and chocolate sauce on top, and a cherry perched above it all. Sam smiled and reached out for the cherry.

Sebastian watched Sam closely as Sam ran the cherry through the chocolate sauce and whipped cream, and his eyes followed the cherry all the way up as Sam set it against Sebastian's lips, the stem in his fingers. Sebastian parted his lips just barely and took the cherry into his mouth. He bit it off and licked the rest from his lips, and Sam kept staring. Sebastian's lips curved into a smile and he could figure out what that look in Sam's eyes meant right away. "Eat up," Sebastian said softly.

Sam picked up his spoon and reached out for the dessert, and Sebastian did the same. The mood had shifted between the two of them and both could feel it. Now instead of being hesitant with each other because they'd fought, they were hesitant with each other because they could both feel that attraction, and they both knew how good it felt to be with the other intimately. When dessert was finished and Sebastian paid the bill, he was tempted to bring Sam back to his apartment, but Sebastian didn't want this to be like things with all the other guys. He wanted something memorable, something that neither of them would forget. Sebastian wanted to do this right.

So, he drove the two of them back to where Sam was staying in silence, trying to stop his heart from speeding up or skipping a beat whenever Sam would glance over at him, or when their fingers would brush between them. Slowly, Sebastian stopped the car outside and Sam glanced over at him nervously. "Well… thanks," he said awkwardly.

Sebastian nodded and cut the engine, pulling the keys out and opening his door like he was going to go up to the house. Confused, Sam climbed out of the car as well. "What are you…?" Sam trailed off as he followed Sebastian up the sidewalk.

When they reached the door, Sebastian finally turned and acknowledged Sam again. "So… I'll talk to you later then," Sebastian sighed. Sam nodded, and Sebastian added, "I might take Maddie shopping tomorrow. I'm planning her first birthday party. You guys can… well, we can have it together if you want."

Sam smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I'd like that," he agreed.

The corners of Sebastian's mouth turned up into a smile, and he reached out to hold the side of Sam's face as he leaned in and kissed him. The kiss was slow, and it lingered for just a few seconds before Sebastian leaned back and said, "Goodnight."

He gave one more smile before he walked back down the sidewalk and climbed into his car. Sam stared after Sebastian in awe as he drove away, still in complete disbelief that Sebastian had just kissed him. Not only that, but they'd be planning Maddie's birthday party together, and things were going well. Sam felt like he and Sebastian had a chance – or maybe they were considered a couple now. He didn't know, but he wasn't going to question it, because the way Sebastian made Sam feel was enough for him.


	10. Chapter 10

As it turned out, trading off custody every week was kind of a pain. Sebastian got so tired of getting attached to Maddie just to see her go, and driving back and forth to drop her off and pick her up was wearing on both Sam and Sebastian. On top of that, Blaine was still encouraging them to go on dates since he'd heard from both parties that the first had gone well, _and_ they were planning Maddie's first birthday party. It was all so much that Sebastian cursed himself for promising to stay away from the alcohol. Sam just kept wishing he could go home to Kentucky to visit his parents.

Both kept to their duties as fathers, though, and before they knew it, it was time for Maddie's party. It fell on a Saturday, and everyone gathered at the Hummel-Hudson home. Burt and Carole decorated for Sam and Sebastian while they took Maddie shopping for an outfit to wear, and when they arrived home (Maddie wanted to be changed as soon as they'd paid for the dress) they were surprised by almost all of New Directions _and_ the Warblers in the house.

Maddie squealed and clapped and kicked her little legs where Sebastian held her, and she was overjoyed at the loud shout of "surprise!" and massive pink and purple streamers and decorations. She squirmed until Sebastian put her down, and she crawled right over to a big balloon that was at Finn's feet. "Don't step on her," Sebastian hissed.

Finn just blushed and backed up, because he knew he wasn't going to step on her and it was a bit insulting that Sebastian would think so. One touch of Sam's hand on Sebastian's managed to calm Sebastian down, and the two of them led Maddie into the living room. She teetered around, talking to everyone, and it was evident that she was quite the social little girl. "Well she _is_ my daughter," Sebastian commented when Rachel felt like pointing it out.

Rachel just glanced hesitantly over at Sam, who for once didn't act like he was on eggshells with Sebastian and brushed the comment off without a thought. Things at the party got a bit less awkward when Sam and Sebastian each fell in with their respective high school group. It was much easier to stay calm when surrounded by friends. Trent kept telling Sebastian how glad he was to see him, and how much they missed Sebastian's voice after he left, and Nick said that he would have much preferred that Sebastian stayed lead because the pressure was more than he wanted to deal with.

Sam kept getting wrangled into hugs and conversations with most people he hadn't seen in a while, and he noticed the strange looks Quinn and Puck shared whenever Maddie would get close enough to them. Sam sighed and walked over to pick her up, and then went right up to Quinn. "Hey," he said as Maddie snuggled up against his shoulder.

"Hi," Quinn replied hesitantly.

Sam just smiled and tried to sound comforting. "I'm sorry," he said simply. "I know that this must be hard for you… with Beth and all…"

"It's… okay," Quinn nodded slowly. "Beth has a good life with Shelby. She's… really growing up."

Quinn choked on the last words, and Sam said softly, "I know it's not the same, but if you want, I'm sure Maddie wouldn't mind it if you held her."

The look on Quinn's face was hard to read, but she wasn't refusing, so Sam smiled and turned to look at Maddie. "What do you think, Mads? Want to play with Quinn for a bit? She's really nice, and she likes crowns just like you," Sam told her.

Maddie looked over at Quinn nervously, and Quinn held out her hands. "Crown?" she asked.

Quinn smiled and nodded, and Maddie slowly reached out for Quinn. The look on Quinn's face made Sam feel good. Quinn looked so happy and Sam liked knowing that he could help a friend be that happy. It was something he was always proud of doing. Sebastian watched jealously from the side, and he jumped when Blaine snuck up behind him and said, "It's okay."

Sebastian spun around to face Blaine and didn't say a word. "I saw the same thing you did. Don't worry. Maddie knows you're her father and she'll never forget," Blaine insisted. "It's good for her to meet new people."

"Isn't that the crazy girl, though?" Sebastian persisted.

Blaine sighed. "She's been through a lot," he explained. "This party is kind of hard for her. Did you know she had a baby?"

Sebastian just narrowed his eyes at Blaine and didn't reply. He hadn't known at all. To be truthful, Sebastian didn't quite know how to explain the look in Quinn's eye as she watched Maddie play. Blaine just watched Sebastian and continued, "She gave her daughter up for adoption at the end of her sophomore year. The guy over there with the mohawk – Puck – he's the father. Ever since then, Quinn hasn't really been the same, especially around children. I heard that when she got to see her daughter, she just cried – the baby, not Quinn – and that didn't help either. This is a good coping mechanism for her, I think. Especially since the adoptive mother moved away and took their baby with her."

Sebastian glanced back over to where Quinn was styling Maddie's hair and making sure her new tiara was situated just right on her head, and then he commented quietly, "I couldn't imagine giving Maddie up."

"Like I said," Blaine replied. "It's probably one of the hardest things she's ever had to deal with. So… this is good for her."

Sebastian just nodded and watched as Quinn glowed and smiled while she played with Maddie. He still couldn't understand how a person could give their child up, but he was older than Quinn had been and that might be part of the reason. "If she weren't out at Yale, I'd say you have another babysitter for her," Blaine commented with amusement from where he stood next to Sebastian.

Sebastian just glanced over at Blaine, and then back out at Quinn. "Another?" he asked. "We have yet to find _one_. Now that you decided to move out and go to UCLA, our default babysitter is kind of MIA. "

"How's school?" Blaine countered.

Sebastian sighed. "It's fine, I guess. I'm taking generals online, even though Maddie is going to daycare for half of a day every day," Sebastian shrugged. "Sam's at the tech school for some sort of design thing. Advertising maybe? I don't know if he's decided yet."

Blaine just nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. "So you and Sam are close, then?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes at Blaine's feeble attempt to be subtle. It hadn't really worked. "We talk, yes."

"You do more than talk, from what I've heard."

Quickly, Sebastian turned to face Blaine and asked, "What is that supposed to mean! And who have you heard anything from?"

Blaine laughed at Sebastian's defensiveness and explained, "You and Sam still go on dates. Seeing as Burt is usually the one to answer the door, word gets around. They're honestly waiting for the two of you to take the next step."

"It's too soon for him to move in with me," Sebastian shook his head. "You mistake me for someone that does commitment."

Blaine just looked up at Sebastian with amusement. For a guy that claims to not do commitment, Sebastian had sure been acting like he could. He'd only been seeing Sam for months, and before that he hadn't gone out on a date with anyone since he'd hooked up with Sam. It was Sebastian's longest streak of being with the same guy ever, and on top of it, it was the closest thing to commitment Sebastian had ever done. Blaine was both impressed and proud of Sebastian, and now all he had to do was convince him that this was something he shouldn't run from. "Well, I don't know if I'd say it's too soon for that. I mean, you two have known each other for what? Almost two years now?" Blaine shrugged.

Sebastian just turned to look at Blaine, the look on his face stating that he couldn't believe Blaine was actually going there. "I'm just saying," Blaine shrugged. "You two are good together, and your family is adorable."

The word adorable was Sebastian's cue to leave, so he walked into the kitchen to start putting candles on the cake. Maddie was adorable as she clapped while everyone sang her 'Happy Birthday,' and then she made a complete mess while she ate her slice of cake. People started filing out of the home after cake and gift opening, and by dinnertime, Maddie was asleep in Sebastian's arms on the couch. He let out a yawn himself and relaxed back against the arm of the couch, his whole body sprawled out along the cushions with Maddie curled up on top of him.

Sam helped Kurt, Blaine, Burt, and Carole clean up after the party, and when he walked back into the living room to talk to Sebastian, he stopped in the doorway. Sebastian and Maddie were both fast asleep on the sofa, and Sam just smiled at the sight. Slowly, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and took a picture, and once he had it saved, he just smiled and left the room again. "Where's Sebastian?" Kurt asked as Sam walked back into the kitchen. "Did he leave already?"

Sam just smiled and shook his head. "He's asleep with Maddie," he grinned.

Burt and Carole exchanged a glance and Blaine peeked through the doorway to the same sight Sam had just photographed. "That is the most adorable thing I've ever seen," Blaine said with a grin.

Carole was beaming as well at the sight, and she turned to face Sam as she said, "They're welcome to stay for dinner. You guys probably shouldn't let Maddie nap too long anyway, otherwise she won't sleep tonight."

Sam thought about it, and he knew how much Sebastian didn't like it when Maddie wasn't sleeping when she usually did. It unnerved him, having his schedule messed up and birthday or not, Sam wanted to keep things normal. So, he sighed and walked out into the living room where Sam and Maddie were sleeping, and he knelt down on the floor to the side. "Sebastian…" Sam whispered softly. "Sebastian, wake up."

Slowly, Sebastian's eyes fluttered open and he found himself face to face with Sam. He jumped a bit at how close they were, and Maddie started to stir as well. "If you guys don't wake up now, she'll never go to bed tonight," Sam pointed out.

Sebastian sighed and nodded, letting out a yawn before he looked down at Maddie. Her little hands were clutching to his shirt, and he smiled down at her for a minute before he sat up on the couch. Maddie was still draped against him, and Sam said, "So… I guess you guys are going home now?"

Sam could have sworn he heard Sebastian mumble something, but he couldn't make it out so he asked, "What?"

"I said," Sebastian repeated. "You can come over if you want."

It wasn't very often that Sebastian offered that to Sam, but he didn't really feel like turning him down. "Like, for dinner?" he asked, confused.

"Like, for the night," Sebastian explained.

Sam was really confused now. He nodded anyway, and he asked, "Do you want the leftover cake?"

Sebastian stretched as well as he could considering he had Maddie on his lap, and then he shrugged, "I guess, yeah. Mads will eat it."

Sam smiled and stood up, and he went into the kitchen to say goodnight to Burt and Carole. When he walked back into the living room, Sebastian was holding Maddie, who had her newest doll in her hands, and she was ready to go, tiara still on her head. "You can ride with us if you want. I'm taking her to a hotel to swim in a kiddie pool tomorrow so I can drive you home," Sebastian said casually.

It was strange for Sam, having Sebastian offer to drive him just like that, and for Sebastian to invite him over. In Sebastian's mind, it was just the inevitable. He was giving in and doing everything he'd convinced himself that he shouldn't, purely because he was tired of fighting it. It was exhausting.

Blaine and Kurt watched in amusement as Sam and Sebastian left, Maddie in Sam's arms. They were looking more and more like a family every day. "How long do you think it will take for Sam to move in with them?" Kurt asked conversationally.

"I give them until New Year's," Blaine said with a sly smile.

New Year's was only a couple of months away, which wasn't really much time, but with the way things were going it made sense. "I hope so," Kurt commented. "I can tell the switching custody is hard on them. So is being away from each other, even if Sebastian won't admit it."

Blaine just nodded and smiled, glad to see Sam and Sebastian getting along.

When Sebastian parked outside his apartment building and got out, Sam was already out and picking up Maddie, and she was squealing and smiling. "What do you feel like having for dinner?" Sebastian asked conversationally as they walked inside and got in the elevator.

Sam thought about it for a moment. "I don't know. What do you feel like making?" he replied.

Sebastian really had no idea. He wasn't all that hungry, but he figured that Maddie and Sam were. "I could make French toast?" he offered.

It was news to Sam that Sebastian liked to cook. He'd always assumed Sebastian was a guy that was strictly into take-out dinners. "Sure, that sounds good," Sam smiled, happy to have the chance to taste more of Sebastian's cooking.

Dinner went by without a hitch, and it made both feel even more comfortable with the situation. Maddie was excited to have both of her dads around, and the smile on her face told Sebastian that maybe this is how things should be. He thought about what it would be like having Sam around all the time. He really wasn't sure what to think when he didn't see anything wrong with that picture.

After Maddie went to bed, Sebastian walked out in the living room to see Sam on the sofa, flipping through channels now that they didn't have to watch a Barbie movie. He settled upon Iron Man as soon as Sebastian sat down, and then asked, "Is this okay?"

Sebastian just nodded as he settled in on the couch next to Sam, and he focused his attention on the movie. It felt like middle school all over again when Sam set his hand down on the sofa near Sebastian's. It didn't take a genius to figure out what he wanted, and Sebastian sighed and rolled his eyes before he flicked his fingers out to touch Sam's. That was as much of a green light as he was going to give Sam, but thankfully the blonde caught on.

Sam slowly moved his fingers and settled his hand over Sebastian's. Their fingers wove together easily and for the rest of the movie, the two of them sat hand in hand. Sam's heart was beating fast the entire time, and Sebastian really didn't know what to think. He let his thumb rub over the back of Sam's hand and Sam ended up leaning against Sebastian by the time the movie ended. As the credits rolled, neither of them moved. They were comfortable, and moving might mean questioning everything, and it wasn't the right time for that. Sebastian just wanted to enjoy the calm feeling that being around Sam granted him, and Sam didn't want to lose this moment with Sebastian no matter what.

Sam turned to look up at Sebastian, and when he did, he caught Sebastian's attention. Sebastian turned to look down at Sam, and it was in that moment that he realized just how close the two of them were sitting. Their noses touched, and Sam's eyes instinctively fluttered closed. Sebastian knew what the natural next step would be, but he was nervous about it all of a sudden. If this backfired, things would be so much more tense, and that might screw things up for Maddie. The last thing Sebastian wanted to do was make things difficult for their daughter.

Something else besides logic within Sebastian took over, and he leaned in without another thought. Their lips met again and both knew that now, there was no going back. Sam reached up with his free hand to hold the side of Sebastian's face as they kissed, and Sebastian pressed into the kiss just enough. His heart was pounding so heard it threatened to burst right out of his chest, and Sam couldn't breathe or think. It was like the whole world had stopped and now it was just the two of them. If there was one thing they could agree on more than anything, it was that they didn't want to lose this feeling.

The kiss only broke because Sam needed air, and when their eyes met, Sam's cheeks were flushed red and Sebastian's expression was completely blank. "Sebastian…" Sam began slowly, his voice deeper and huskier thanks to the kiss. "I… I don't expect you to say it back, but… I love you. I love our family. I just… I'm so happy with you guys."

Sam looked fearful and Sebastian could feel Sam's hand trembling within his own. Sebastian just nodded and leaned in to kiss Sam. He felt so much, but he couldn't put it in words. Now that he'd had little glimpses of life with Sam around the house along with himself and Maddie, Sebastian didn't want to let that go. He wanted it to be a permanent thing, and he'd do whatever he could to make it happen. This was his one shot at a family and Sebastian didn't want to lose that. "I don't want you to leave," Sebastian admitted.

Sam looked confused, and then asked, "But I thought I was sleeping over tonight?"

"I don't mean just tonight," Sebastian admitted. He closed his eyes and turned away because it was hard to admit all of this out loud, but he kept speaking. "I mean after tonight. For… the future and stuff."

Sam just stared at Sebastian, trying to make sense of his words. He didn't want to assume too much, but it sounded a lot like Sebastian wanted Sam to move in. That had to mean something huge, because Sebastian shut everyone out. It was just the way he worked. "I… I want to. Move in, I mean," Sam admitted timidly. "I want to, and… I can for a little bit, but…" Sam took a deep breath and said, "I got into college. It's… not here. I got into the illustration program at the Massachusetts College of Art and Design. I've… well, it's kind of been my dream to go there, and I finally got in. So… I'm moving there."

"So I'll move out there, then," Sebastian said simply. "Mother can rent out this place, or sell it, and we can get somewhere together in Massachusetts."

Sam frowned. "You can't uproot your life for me, Sebastian," he pointed out.

Sebastian's expression steeled and he said, "I'm not uprooting my life. We're a family now, Sam."

Sam sat back and looked at Sebastian incredulously. "Wait, so just because we're getting along, you think we're a family? There is so much more to it," Sam said, his voice strained. "We can't just get along when it's convenient. We have to be able to handle each other twenty-four seven. Being a family is a lot more than throwing a birthday party for our daughter."

"I thought that was what you wanted… for us to be a family," Sebastian argued.

"I do!" Sam insisted. "I really do, Sebastian. But… this sort of thing should be compromises. Not you and I following each other around and doing whatever the other is doing."

Sebastian frowned. He didn't understand what he was doing wrong. He'd finally accepted that he had feelings for Sam, that he wanted to be a family with Sam, but here he was hearing that he shouldn't do this. It was frustrating. "Fine," Sebastian sighed. "How will we do the custody thing?"

It hurt Sam, hearing Sebastian give up so easily. "We have time to worry about that later," he insisted, reaching out for Sebastian's hand again. "It'll be fine."

Sebastian's hand was limp in Sam's where Sam was holding it, and that was when Sam got the horrible, sinking realization that he'd just screwed things up. "I'm going to bed," Sebastian said. "You can sleep in there with me or out here, it's up to you."

He stood and left before Sam could say anything else, because Sebastian didn't handle rejection well, and this whole situation was as close to it as he could imagine with Sam in that moment. Full of disappointment, Sebastian changed into his pajamas and brushed his teeth, mulling over the entire thing in his head. He tried to figure out where he'd gone wrong, but he summed it up to the timing. If Sebastian hadn't been so stubborn, they might have honestly had a shot at something. Even without trying, Sebastian had managed to fuck things up with Sam. To say it was an awful feeling was a vast understatement.

Sam sat on the sofa, his eyes wet as he realized what he'd just done. It was hard enough for him to accept that he'd probably have to say goodbye to Maddie when he moved, but now knowing that he'd hurt Sebastian by moving too was more than he could handle. Sam sat up for hours until he fell asleep on the sofa, still sitting up.

When Sebastian woke the next morning to an empty bed, he felt like shit. He'd really managed to screw things up this time. He went into Maddie's room where she played silently in her crib. "Come here, Mads," he said softly, picking her up and holding her close.

Maddie looked confused, but didn't argue when Sebastian pulled her into a big hug. Sebastian felt awful for Maddie, forget his own problems. She'd just gotten used to having Sam around and he was about to leave again. "I'm sorry," Sam said from the doorway.

He'd slept fitfully all night so when he'd heard Maddie and Sebastian, he'd followed. Sebastian turned to look at Sam and said, "You should be saying that to Maddie, not me."

"I'm doing this for her," Sam said lamely.

Sebastian just scoffed and rolled his eyes. He didn't say another word during breakfast, and Sam was too afraid to. Sam really didn't want to make things any worse than they already were. Sebastian was quick to drop Sam off, and when Sam walked right through the door, Kurt was right there and ready to talk to him about how things had gone. He just didn't expect the look on Sam's face. "What's going on?" he asked.

Sam sighed and just plopped down on the sofa. He didn't really know where to start, but he had to explain somehow. As he started to talk, Kurt sat next to him and looked at him sadly. Across town, Sebastian played with Maddie in the kiddie pool, and she squealed and smiled and bounced around in the water. Sebastian forced a smile for her, but couldn't stop thinking about it all. He didn't want to say goodbye to Sam, but what was worse was Maddie would have to say goodbye to Sam and that would break his heart.

By the time Sebastian got home and actually had some spare moments to pull out his phone, he noticed three missed calls from Blaine. After putting Maddie down for a nap, Sebastian called him back. "What do you want?" he said as soon as Blaine answered.

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked softly.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. Of course Sam would go and tell everyone in that damn house he lives in so they all knew their problems. "Fine," he said firmly.

"I heard what happened," Blaine offered.

"Yeah, I got that."

Sebastian was glad that he could finally snap, even if he shouldn't have been doing it towards Blaine. It wasn't anybody's fault but Sebastian's that he'd opened up and said something to Sam about moving in. He'd known it was stupid but he did it anyway and now he was paying for it. "He loves you and Maddie, you have to believe him," Blaine pleaded.

"If he cared that much, why are _you_ calling me and not _him_?" Sebastian challenged. "Exactly. He's a coward and can't own up to the fact that for the second time in Maddie's life, he's cutting and running."

Blaine sighed and asked, "Why don't you just look at moving out there?"

"I already brought that up with Sam, actually," Sebastian said roughly. "He said I shouldn't do that for him. He doesn't want me out there. What else am I supposed to do? I'm not some creepy asshole that will do it even if Sam said I shouldn't."

"He just doesn't want you to go out there and do nothing," Blaine explained. "If you had a reason to be out there, too, then I'm sure…"

"I told him my reason. _Him_."

Blaine looked at Sebastian sadly. He could tell that Sebastian had finally come to accept how he felt for Sam, just to have it seemingly thrown back in his face. It was a lousy feeling, witnessing that after it had taken over a whole year for Sebastian to come to terms with it all. He frowned and said, "I don't think he can handle that much pressure. Because then if you go out there with him and you guys are unhappy… he'd blame himself."

"If he wants to walk out of Maddie's life again, then fine. That's all on him," Sebastian said angrily. "I'm done dealing with his back and forth bullshit. Either he wants me or he doesn't. He's got to make up his fucking mind because I can't stand this shit.

Blaine didn't have much to say to that. He understood what Sebastian was talking about, but he didn't know how to fix it. "I'll talk to you later, Sebastian," Blaine said softly.

Sebastian just hung up and resigned himself to disappointment for the rest of the night. The following morning, Sebastian had a phone call from his mother that he was left irate after, but he had more answers. Frantically, Sebastian shuffled through papers, clicked away at his computer, and watched Maddie out of the corner of his eye. If he wanted this to work, he had to try. It might be too late for spring semester, but he could try for summer, or spend spring getting Maddie used to the city before he started school in the fall – there were possibilities that he'd been too angry to realize the day before.

After that day of working, it was all a waiting game. Weeks passed and Sebastian heard nothing back from the school. Then finally, at the end of November when Sam came to pick up Maddie, the letter was out on the counter, strategically placed so Sam would see it. Sebastian was smug when Sam noticed it, and Sam had to set Maddie down so he could pick it up. "What's this?" he asked, reading it over.

Sebastian had been accepted on special provisions to Berklee College of Music. "This is in Boston," Sam said as he held up the letter.

"Yeah, well so is your school. I needed a reason to move out there just to please you, didn't I?" Sebastian said, albeit a bit sarcastically.

"I didn't mean that," Sam said softly, setting the letter down. "You can't just… for me…"

"I did this for me. And for Maddie."

Sam looked up at Sebastian and didn't really know what to say anymore. Sebastian was happy to add more to the conversation, though, and he said, "Yeah, well, I did this a little bit for you, too. But not like the way you're thinking." Sebastian crossed his arms and said, "I'm doing this because I care enough about you to not let you fuck this up again. You walked out of her life once and I swore if you did it again, you'd be done. No more. But I know you don't want that, and quite honestly, I don't really want that for you. I did this so you wouldn't lose _her_."

Sam knew it was more than that. Sebastian had just admitted that he cared, in a roundabout way, and Sam didn't know how to take it all. "You… Sebastian, I'm not…"

"You said it yourself," Sebastian rolled his eyes. "I'm saving you from making a horrible mistake. Besides, it's a music school. Does it really surprise you that I applied and got in? I start in the fall so I'll spend spring getting Maddie used to the city. We'll find her a daycare so in the fall we can both go to classes."

Sam just stared at Sebastian. He didn't know what to think. "You… but…" he trailed off, still trying to make sense of it all.

"Mother already found us an apartment. It's right downtown, in a good part of the city, and we can get to our schools on the bus route. I'll have my car but public transportation is cheaper than gas for getting to and from campuses," Sebastian shrugged. "We just need to find a good daycare for Mads because I refuse to bring her somewhere that isn't absolutely perfect."

Sam really didn't have any words to say, so he reached out and pulled Sebastian into a huge hug. Maddie squealed and cheered from where she stood next to the two of them, and she bounced up and down and shouted, "Dadas! Yay!"

Sebastian was stiff in the hug at first, but Maddie's cheering softened him just enough and he let his arms fall around Sam's waist to hold him close. Sebastian was honestly terrified to move out to Boston, away from his friends (not that he had many), and to send Maddie off to daycare full time so he could try to get a degree in music business. He knew he could do it, but the fear was still there. If anything happened to Maddie, Sebastian would never forgive himself.

After Christmas, Blaine and Kurt came by Sebastian's apartment in a moving truck and Kurt's Navigator; a huge caravan to help them move. Sebastian's car was already stuffed with boxes and Maddie's car seat, and Sam would be riding in the car as well. The guys took turns watching Maddie while the rest moved everything downstairs into the moving van in the snow, and just in time for New Year's, Sam, Sebastian, and Maddie were leading the caravan of vehicles out to Boston.

The trip was fairly easy; they drove all day to New York City where they slept overnight at Kurt's apartment, and then in the morning on the day of the 31st, they made the final four hour drive out to Boston to start unpacking. Instead of an apartment, Sebastian's mother had found them a townhouse in a nice, vintage-looking part of town not too far outside of downtown. It was gorgeous and of course, in pristine condition, and Sam almost felt guilty, agreeing to live in this house that was already paid for. He didn't want to start a conflict with Sebastian, though, so he just went with it.

Blaine and Kurt helped Sebastian move everything inside as Sam took Maddie out grocery shopping (in Sebastian's car, which was a first). When they got back, most things were put in the correct rooms, even if the boxes were still stuffed and the furniture wasn't in the right place. At least Maddie had her toys and could stay occupied while everyone else worked to unpack things. Sebastian hated leaving jobs unfinished. He wouldn't be able to sleep until the entire apartment was unpacked.

It worked out, Sebastian's busybody attitude, because just before midnight, they unpacked the last box. Blaine had already returned the moving truck, and Kurt and Blaine were going to stay overnight before they left for Lima in the morning. Everyone seemed to be getting along, and it was nice.

Maddie fell asleep before midnight, but the two couples were awake and the TV had just been hooked up in time to see the ball drop. When the TV echoed with cheering and it signaled the start of a new year, Blaine and Kurt kissed, and Sebastian didn't even falter when Sam turned to him and reached out to kiss him as well. Sebastian just closed his eyes and let an arm wrap around Sam's waist.

In the weeks to come, Sebastian learned something very powerful. After letting go of all the fear of being hurt, and all the hesitation that people were only going to let him down, he found that life was better. He was happier. Maddie was growing up and they were singing together in the living room as they watched old musicals, and Sam seemed more at ease. Sebastian relaxing was good for their relationship – their _official_ relationship, they'd agreed – and Sam didn't act like he was on eggshells anymore. He could be himself and so could Sebastian and to Sebastian's amazement, the two of them still got along.

Letting go of that fear and letting Sam in was one of the best things to happen to Sebastian, second only to Maddie's birth. Growing up didn't suck as bad as he'd thought, and even just at age twenty, Sebastian felt accomplished. He was content with his life, with where he was going, and with his relationships. Where he and Sam would go in the future, he didn't know, but it didn't matter because in the here and now, the two of them were happy, and they could manage to push through their little quarrels because the good outweighed the bad, and they just knew each other enough to push those buttons.

On Sam's birthday, after they'd gone out to dinner, put Maddie to bed, and then made love, Sebastian felt more emotions than he ever had before, and without a single thought or hesitation, he admitted that he loved Sam. From there, the rest is history.


End file.
